What would you consider a double standard that you would not tolerate in your relationship? Do double standards have any merit whatsoever? Would you continue in a relationship with double standards under certain circumstances or not? I would love to get your thoughts on these questions! Thanks for participating.

I like for the man to open the door for me and pull my chair out for me, etc. If I did that for my date, I suppose others wouldn't look at that with approval, but that's just my guess. I guess women are supposed to appear helpless, although that's not the reason I like for the man to do these things for me. I like to feel spoiled without having it adversely affect another's pocketbook.

I think there will always be double standards in relationships. I try not to worry about to much. Some double standards are kinda effed but sometimes things just are what they are.

You're right, lionsbrew. I think we just accept them because it's not worth fussing over. Now, some, I won't accept. For example, I always handled the simple plumbing tasks at home, traditionally the man's job, because I was simply better at it. He was better at quick cleaning. I take my time. It worked, even though it wasn't traditional.

Sure, here's one.. My Ex said it is perfectly acceptable for him to be able to make NEW female friends, yet.. He wanted me to get rid of my OLD male friends!
He couldn't have been serious, Right until, I caught him deleting all of my guy friends from my phone! While, coincidentally NIKKI, was calling his phone?

Yeah when someone tells you not to swear and yet they swear etc

Some traditions we start ourselves.

The thing that got me about my ex, is when it was ok for her to go out with her friends, but when i'd go out with mine, my phone would be glowing red hot and sometimes she'd turn up where I was! I wouldn't cheat on her, but i'm entitled to some time with my mates, just as she was with hers? That really annoyed me!

She's got more nerve than a toothache
just imagine if we eeeeever showed up
where they were we'd get read the riot act and rightfully so. The action says eveything negative.

There are thing that gfs have done that
I would hold a higher standard in my
self had the tables been turned.
I can feel resentment if she has some inflated
attitude,and thinks shes above doing a little
more around the house when I'm working.
The deal breakers often aren't the double standard,
they are generally precursor or a product of
something much more. depression/bipolar alcoholism
imaturity, disrespect,falling out of love ect.

So if things are good in other areas then I'm
not going to sweat the small stuff like not
having a clean house after work or doesn't want to make
dinner, If she wasn't up to it, no problem.
I've freaked out about that stuff before & pushed
my will in areas that I wouldn't today.
If you don't like someones perspective then
you can always alter yours at times.
Today there is so much education available
to younger people in puplic fourms like this
than what many of us had.
Many of us Gen. Xers & boomers have seen a
complete 180� turn in Western society, So how
can you be faulted for doing what you grew up with
and knew as the norm.However, if "one" fails to
grasp the ways of the western word, then it will
be one troubled world.

Its cool with me if I support her and I would
never hold it over her head or make her
feel less,it would be ours,if we have lifetime
plans together. I wouldn't make her feel like
she's walking on egg shells around me because she
didn't feel like cleaning or cooking.

There's a pretty good double standard

To me, a double standard is putting an expectation on your partner that you would not be willing to accept yourself.

We all should have the ability to find our niche in a good relationship without being told where and what it is by our partner.

What if we ARE willing to accept that expectation but our partner IS NOT--this to me becomes a "double standard" and just would not work for me, as much as I would want it to. It hinders trust.

It all goes back to the Golden Rule: treat others a you wish to be treated. If you want your partner to do something for you, you need to be welling to do it for them, too, if it is within your power to do so. Point blank.

Thanks for the positive comment, lionsbrew. W thought it was good for our daughters to witness partnership in our marriage.

As long as its not to outrageous I could live with a double standard,I will bend but not break.

I wouldn't ask anyone to do something I wasn't willing to do myself. I think we have to pick our battles tho.

yeah uh huh, like ummmm....NIKKI who? I suppose that is short for Nicholas...lol ?


I had a BF at one time that expected me to be monogamous even though he refused to make any type of commitment to monogamy AND couldn't see why that was a problem (OK ... )

certain standards actually do kind of make a difference... not that it is OK just its different... take a guy whom has had alot of partners vs. a girl that has... viewed as pride on one end a devious sexually on the other

men and women are different-the angry have made it politically correct for us to be the same-they call not being the same as double standard- the problem is women want alpha males-when they get one they need to change them to beta males to get the security etc- several generations of males now have been raised by women only with no father role to teach them how to be a man-so when its said that there are no good guys out there- we need to understand the differences not try to change the physical,hormonal,and mental differences. children need healthy gender role adults to raise them from both sex's-

I believe men and women were made different, with different parts inside and out,,lol

for a reason,, I think too often we see 'different' as inferior or superior and that's the problem

a woman at home doing unpaid jobs is no more inferior or superior than a man in an office doing a paid job


but to be 'equal' we felt like we had to be out at the office too and now we are expected to be,,,although the men are not expected on quite a large scale to be at home nurturing and looking after their kids,,,

that's a double standard I hate has occurred and wish we were back to two parent households where a parent stayed home and the other works outside the home,,,,

,.,,,but I digress



I do expect a male to be a gentleman in how he treats his family and his wife,,,,to protect and provide and cherish

opening doors, sharing a coat, paying for meals ,,is part of the way cherishing someone can be manifested


I expect of myself, as a female, to be lady in how I treat my family and husband, to nurture and support and cherish

having a warm, safe, clean home and preparing healthy meals , as well as carrying children through to a healthy birth, giving (well earned) trust and respect to the husbands decisions,


are all ways that cherishing husband and family can manifest

I cannot tolerate an expectation to 'do it all',, working both inside and outside the home,, with a man who feels they should only be expected to bring home a check and be waited on,,,

I like this ... so well said. I think it is a better way to communicate what I mean when I say that if a man get s bossy with me it's OVER...which I've said on here 1000 times.

The way you have put that is a much better explanation because it provides context & perspective.

Thanks, and I totally agree