Please enlighten me on what is wrong here and what needs to happen. Met a man 3 years ago. We dated off and on since then. He has no desire for committment. I do! He wants a best friend and more. well, we have conquered the best friend part however he will not Commit to me fully. Should I continue seeing him or end it? Does anyone else have this problem?

You can't make a man commit to you, if you want one thing and he wants another, all you can do is end it. Sticking around and hoping he'll change isn't fair to either of you, and the time you're wasting on him could be spent looking for someone who actually wants what you want.

Also, you're not giving him any reason to commit, if you've stuck around for 3 years, you're telling him what he's doing is okay.

After two years have passed, he is not going to commit. Read the book titled Why Men Marry *******. It's all true. Good luck.

I've never heard of that book, but now I want to read it.

LOL It's a good book and well worth the money.

Thanks you all! I have recently ended it with him. I will definately buy that book and read it!

I think any time a guy messes around over a year they are telling you that you are not what they really want.

You have been a friend, maybe a port in a storm, but he is not going to commit and sounds like he told you that from the start.

When someone tells you up front they don't want a commitment you don't get to flip the script. Women who think time, sex, money, helping with "problems" will change a mans mind they are just being a doormat. The longer you let them get over on you the less respect or remorse they will feel.

Cut your losses and find someone who is into you.

This.

I totally agree with you. I have thought everything you have said myself. It is and will be hard to move on and cut all ties even the friendship especially when we both have children involved but..it has been a long time coming. I have let good guys go because of him. Which i know is my fault! I have myself to blame. Time to brush it off and look for a new beginning for myself. Thank you!

Yea it can be hard to do that.

Biggest reason not to let a love interest become your whole world.

Better to keep your friends and family relationships going. It may be hard but focusing on those relationships will help you find a better quality of person from a position of strength.

And to keep a certain distance as far as your kids are concerned until formal commitments are made. I am not saying have no contact but just limiting it . Not letting a guy step in as the disciplinarian/provider/leader until he commits to you. None of that having him being Daddy Santa over night balogne.

If good guys have come and gone they see you stand up on your own two feet they may come back around or may not but you know when you look in the mirror if they are missing out or not. If they are well that is their loss. They are not the only fish in the sea.

As far as blaming yourself; well that is ok as long as you don't punish yourself where it is not going to do any good. Now you know better you will do better. Let it go and move forward.

There are some really nice folks here. Good Luck.

Hi Wendy!
I believe you did the right thing by ending it with him. It is clear that both of you do not want the same thing.
You have to believe that you deserve more than he's willing to give.
There are plenty of good men out there who do want the same long term commitment that you do.
In the meantime, be yourself. Be strong! Be joyful that you have stood up for yourself.
Remember the things that make you happy and do more of them! Now the door will be open for someone fresh and new!

You rock, girl!

What's wrong here, is that you kept breaking up with him and kept getting back together with him. Though you must have liked him a lot to keep giving him chance after chance. He didn't want to commit. Not really YOUR problem, but HIS. I wouldn't bother giving myself to a guy who just wanted me for certain things?

You all ROCK! Yes, I know for a fact that I made the best decission in my life! Its time to start making myself happy other then trying to make everyone else happy. Im a very strong person. Life has made me that way! I am a diamond in the rutt and one day someone true will actually see that! Thanks for all the encouragement from you all! God bless!

The way i've looked at this is by "laying my cards" on the table from the beginning of any relationship! And hopefully she does the same?? I go from Ballroom to Bedroom in all relationships "before a commitment" is made!! In all relationships i've been in i am not going to lie and don't expect to be lied to. And as time goes on it tells on you anyway. Are you a player or stayer in this relationship???

The way i've looked at this is by "laying my cards" on the table from the beginning of any relationship! And hopefully she does the same?? I go from Ballroom to Bedroom in all relationships "before a commitment" is made!! In all relationships i've been in i am not going to lie and don't expect to be lied to. And as time goes on it tells on you anyway. Are you a player or stayer in this relationship???

But why can't u jst tell him your mind and it may be he is waiting till you ask him just try and tel him

Hi, if i may put my opinion in here.
Some men are very simple creatures and creatures of habit, if he has your friendship, and your love and you are both intimate as well then to him that is a full package so maybe he doesnt want to rock the boat. I would like to think that you didnt just cut off the relationship cold without first discussing the issue and most importantly giving him some time to think so he can give a thoughtful responce. You may have had this in your mind for weeks but when you open the subject he may be unprepaired to give a thoughtful reply.
Obviously if you do not see the relationship the same way then the next step would be to state your intensions, ie to seperate, this could also be a time for him to reflect that maybe this IS what he wants.
These are just my opinions and everyone deals with issues in different ways but i hope i may have offered a view that you may not have seen.
clearly he is a man you want to be with so he must be a good person.
Talk to him.

Very good answer!! 100%correct because if you don't talk to him or her and let them decide "before you make the discussion for them" You will never know the truth or find out after its too late!! Separation makes Free Birds, And Free Birds will fly and try out their Wings!! It won't mean there's a better one there but there is ALWAYS Another One!