it sure is! their nothing like that new feeling, but it makes me lazy for it bit,
Just comfortable & happy.

You will know! The lightning holy when they kiss you, and when you stay up all night talking. The other big one is the feeling that you are "Home" when you are with them.

Hmmmm well OBVIOUSLY if you start to yodel...
...And you don't get an echo back for like 5 minutes

You just know, you both know..it's an aching yearning feeling that you need to be together.

When you have that, you just know & nothing can stop it...

what he said

yeah it hurts..
Love hurts

((pony!)) lmao, you can wear that "i'm with stupid" shirt, and i'll wear
the "he borrowed my shirt" shirt. kk? :) - we could have fun with this! lol

glad to be of service bastet.. just bein a devil's advocate
although the pay is really lousy 'n it's hotter than.. well.. hell
;)

You'll feel a spark in your heart when around her.

The dyslexia was not part of the joke but thats f....en funny! I wasn't familiar with that shirt, lol

Thats awesome! your my fraefrit by far we should start a thread about who on here may

resemble a personality that you" dig".. your are ma kinda cool

i don't know pony, no matter how cool we may be, we'd never be as cool as
this guy ;/




((zee!!! ))

oh.. man.. niVANA

My opinion would be... No one knows that he/she is the one until u accept his/her flaws.. And trying to solve the problems before u go to sleep.. That's what I have heard but taking chances is a bs sometimes

oh yanno he's a mtn biker

I'm sure he is "cool" with it lol

I'm 43 years old. I've said "no" 4 times, and don't have any better idea what manner of man I would ever say "yes" to than I did at 20.

So I don't think I'm out on a very long limb to assume I've never even had a clue....and probably never will.

that's the nicest thing I have heard u say willing....great post. the honesty is very touching

that's the nicest thing I have heard u say willing....great post. the honesty is very touching

I find these questions and people's responses really interesting. I'll add my point of view complete with soap box.

We've been conditioned to look for that one right person to complete us as though there is only one right person. And if the relationship doesn't work out longterm, we console and torture ourselves by saying they weren't the right one.

We are all amazing, vibrant people creating lives of our own choosing in every moment, with every awareness, with every possibility and subsequent choice. It is part of what makes us attractive to others. Then we meet and go into conclusion about them being the one ... the one what? we make that special someone our whole world, we stop doing the things that made us interesting in the first place ... subtly because we don't want you go, we compromise on things that are important - rationalizing that it is for the greater good ... we don't do something we really want to do ... we give up a dream ... we laugh when we are sad ... we say everything is alright when it isn't....

To meet someone and deem them the one is really an unkindness to them. So much pressure to live up to the undefinable 'one' you have determined in your mind. It really requires that they always stay the way they were when you met and you keep your blinders up to all the things you don't like. People are not free to be and create who they are in every moment and they cut off their awareness to what is really going on in the relationship. That is the hallmark of death. At the beginning of the relationship is beginning of its decay.

Look anywhere in the animal and plant kingdom. there is expansion and growth and expansion and growth and expansion and growth ...contraction and decay, contraction and decay...there is no staying the same. And yet that is what we expect of the people we are supposed to love the most.

I can hear some of you saying that you encourage your partner to change and to grow...and yes, of course you do. I would argue, however, they have a small range of latitude in how much they could change until you became uncomfortable and either tried to force them back into the comfort zone or you decide that you made a mistake and they weren't the ONE after all. Change threatens your sense of security. Again making someone outside of you responsible for how you feel. Too much pressure, not enough choice and freedom = death.


How much of you have you had to cut off or divorce to be with your partner? How much does your partner have to suppress themself to be with you? To ensure you stay comfortable and continue to see them as the one?

When we go into conclusion (conclusion=contraction ... aka I will love you forever ... I promise to do/be this until death ...It will always be this wonderful ... We are going to be here in 5 years- it is deciding ahead of time what will choose in a moment that has not yet arrived) you actually go into the death process of the relationship. The only way a relationship can expand and expand and be more wonderful and more wonderful is to stay out of conclusion. Stay out of conclusion by staying in question. This is wonderful - I wonder how much more wonderful it can be...what can I learn about you today that is different from yesterday instead of thinking that I know all I need to know about you...how much more fun can we have...how much steamier can the sex be ...

...when we not only allow but encourage our partners to be all they can and choose to be in any given moment they are vibrant and exciting and new - plugged in and living life (as opposed to surviving life). That doesn't mean only the things I've decided I like or the things that don't make me uncomfortable. It means that I so honor and respect the amazing being that you are that I want you to be all of you without having to bend/fold/staple yourself for me. Foremost there is honor of self and honor of others.

You honoring you does not have to dishonour me. And if you honouring you requires that I be in a place of dishonoring me to stay then I will go without regret, without guilt, without expectation and without demeaning every wonderful moment including this one.

What does that look like? In an extreme example, if my partner wanted to sleep with another woman because it was honoring of him and he was honest with me about that and hence not dishonoring me by doing it behind my back, I can then choose the path that honors myself. He can choose to do that and I can choose to leave or not ...without having to make either of us wrong and without being dishonoring of one another.

The interesting thing is that when you create expansion and more wonderful and more wonderful and more expansion...you're partner will never want to go. It feels too good to be together. So while on the surface, it sounds like I am encouraging people to sleep around. I am actually not. I am encouraging people to live out loud and in doing so it gives other people permission to do the same.

I am interested in a version of relationship that actually works for people. You may have noticed the divorce statistics ... and the dismal levels of satisfaction and joy found in long-term partnerships.

The way we've done it doesn't work for the majority of people. And the token few who have actually made it work are the exception not the lucky few who happened to find the one right ONE.

I love being in a relationship and the juicy exploration of life it provides. I love waking up so excited to discover who this amazing man I've chosen is today and who I am choosing again in every moment. There is no living in a future that does not yet exist. There is no living in the past and all the things that I could dredge up that caused me pain.

And I have learned just how limiting and unkind it is It to make someone else responsible for how you feel. Let people be who they are. Be fully who you are. And choose what is working for you today.

I can choose to be anything, behave any way but if there is an inherent obligation, expectation, judgment or contract forming the borders of allowability, I am no longer in choice. I am forced to live something I chose not something I choose.

I would much rather wake up every day excited that I get to spend another day with you because we both choose it every day for 20 years than because I made a promise 20 years ago about how I would feel today.

There is no 'one'. There is only choice. Who would be joyful and expansive to be with...now? Who makes your heart stir? Who gets your jokes? And who would you choose to wake up to excited to see how they are different today than yesterday for the sheer joy of it? That's love ... not the watered down Hollywood version of mindless obligation. And not the contractual one...and not the one that requires you to be any different than you are for me to feel safe or loved or whatever other thing we try to get from outside of ourselves.

Your relationship can be so much juicier and more magical than the version of relationship we have societally bought and sold. One of the most pervasive limitations to joy is the idea of the 'one'.

May it die forever so that people can truly thrive in relationships and in life.