Topic: What are men over fifty looking for in a relationship?
no photo
Wed 06/05/13 04:54 PM
Edited by davey4321 on Wed 06/05/13 04:57 PM


The question to men over fifty is, “now that you have experienced many of life challenges what is your vison of a good relationship?”


An independent woman and sex. I believe a romantic relationship requires sex to function properly. It's frequently said arguments/disagreements result in diminished sex but I believe the opposite is true. The sex diminishes first resulting in looking at ones partner as a roommate or pal or buddy and that's when things are looked at with a critical eye.

During the "honeymoon" stage, be it 6 months, a year, or whatever length of time do people argue over who emptied the dishwasher or who did the laundry? Two people are anxious to do more than their share for their partner. Then the sex slowly wanes and the "it's your turn to do...." begins.

I think we've downplayed the importance of sex to our own detriment. Told to look for similar activities, similar political views, similar views on life, etc. has resulted in the one thing that defines a romantic relationship, sex, being summarily dismissed. "It will happen naturally. Lust, desire, etc. are not important." we're told.

People eventually find out those things are very important. Cute quirks become annoying habits. The enjoyment of doing things for our partner become chores. What has changed?


the reason this happens is because of the emphasis on sex and not upon intimacy. train yourself to be intimate, appreciate intimacy and you will be a more desirable lover

sex without intimacy is a noisy horn, a clanging bell's soured note,

we want real music smitten


Where was the intimacy, the real music, when the gal was climbing the guy's bones during the Honeymoon period? They were happy just sharing each other.

Also, why do some people have to be "in the mood" before they engage in sex? Doesn't the touching and caressing get the person in the mood?

My view is sex is frequently looked at as "the icing on the cake" when it really contains the basic nutrients necessary to hold a romantic relationship together. It shouldn't be any more an option than talking to ones partner. One wouldn't say, "Do we have to have a conversation over tonight's dinner. I'm not in the mood to talk to you."

Anyway, that's the way I see it. I don't have any statistics but I bet many relationships slowly dissolve as sex occurs fewer and fewer times.

motowndowntown's photo
Wed 06/05/13 06:04 PM
Eehh, if she can make a really good sandwich and don't nag too much,
I'm good.

dropofsand's photo
Thu 06/06/13 07:33 PM
Nice.

no photo
Sat 06/15/13 05:25 AM

Eehh, if she can make a really good sandwich and don't nag too much,
I'm good.
it really is just that simple ive been on my own a long while and i really miss a good sammich, the nagging not so much!

no photo
Sat 06/15/13 06:57 AM
In my experience, men over 50 are less willing to settle and expect a lot more for their money...Nothing wrong with that as long as they understand that door swings both ways...Also based on personal experience, I find that men over 50 consistently choose well preserved older women over younger women...

no photo
Sat 06/15/13 07:02 AM

In my experience, men over 50 are less willing to settle and expect a lot more for their money...Nothing wrong with that as long as they understand that door swings both ways...Also based on personal experience, I find that men over 50 consistently choose well preserved older women over younger women...
and some of us have excellent taste :wink:

oldsage's photo
Sat 06/15/13 07:52 AM


The old ways are best. Life was grand before women got the vote, they were seen and not heard.

i agree with oldsage about women being seen and not heard. wait, you were talking about women at strip clubs right?


Sorry ese, I would NEVER expect a lady to be seen & not heard. I look for an attitude & strong will, to match mine. Weak & submissive will never work with me.

ViaMusica's photo
Mon 06/17/13 11:49 AM
Edited by ViaMusica on Mon 06/17/13 11:55 AM
After fifty most people have "been there, done that" and have no interest in a replay, they know where they want to live, what they like to eat, what they like to do for entertainment, what movies they enjoy watching, infact, they become "set in their ways” flexiblity and challenges no longer interest them. Topics of conversations is usually about their history, or health problems.

Jeez, you mean in a little over a year I'm going to have to completely change the things I talk about? noway

Seriously, most of the men (and women) I associate with who are over fifty talk about the same kinds of things people in their forties and even thirties (well, mid-to-late thirties, maybe) talk about. Y'know, entertainment or hobbies, politics, science, philosophy or religion... life goals... etc. We might talk about our friends, and the people who have kids or grandkids sometimes talk about family.

Granted, our taste in music might differ on average from the tastes of a twentysomething, but we don't all sit around discussing our aches and pains and playing poker for Geritol. And if we talk about our "history", how is that any different from anybody else? People in their 20s, 30s and 40s talk about their life experiences too.

Though I will admit to being curious as to what (most) men in their fifties want in a relationship. Hell, I'd like to know what men in their forties want in a relationship, too, since I date on both sides of that fence. what

As for not being interested in flexibility and challenges after age fifty, that's a ridiculous notion. Many of us near or over the half-century mark are in the process of changing careers, or taking up new hobbies, learning new skills, going places we haven't been before, etc. Some of us are going back to school, or moving vast distances from the places we once lived (and no, not for retirement in many cases).

Someone who's just turned fifty and is fairly healthy (which is most fifty-year-olds) can likely expect to live another thirty years if not longer, so the idea that we should all just become stagnant at this age really doesn't jibe with current reality. Perhaps in our parents' generation it worked that way, but not in ours.


Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 06/17/13 01:06 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Mon 06/17/13 01:07 PM


The question to men over fifty is, “now that you have experienced many of life challenges what is your vison of a good relationship?”


They are Looking for Women under 30. laugh

no photo
Tue 06/18/13 10:29 PM
I think after being in a few relationships and having loved and lost and grown in maturity, gained lessons of life a man over 50 is looking mainly for maturity in a relationship. Some are after young women to boost their ego but that just means they are not done maturing.
A fully mature man is looking for a fully mature woman. One who understands the difference between a man and a woman and how they can compliment each other. Who understands the roles we play and wants to fulfill them.
A mature man knows a woman's needs in and out of bed, as the woman knows his. A man over 50 who is done playing games is looking for the woman just for him. That shares a similar world view and has similar goals so they are going in the same direction.
A man who is fully mature is on a journey, he has a limited amount of time to accomplish certain goals, he wants someone who will compliment him not hinder.
A mature woman has similar aspirations too and she needs a man to take on her aspirations and add them to his so they can work on them together. The protector and the nourisher. A woman wants to leave behind a loving family a man wants to leave behind a loving world.

ViaMusica's photo
Wed 06/19/13 10:22 AM
I can't leave a loving family behind... but I want to make the world a better place.

no photo
Wed 06/19/13 06:19 PM
Breathing and a heart beat.

no photo
Wed 06/19/13 07:54 PM
I was just using traditional examples to make my point. There are no rules written in stone on how a good relationship works. A lot of us don't have a loving family to leave behind but we do have people in our lives who we mentor and who mentor us, that could be considered family.

no photo
Wed 06/19/13 08:29 PM
this should be interesting....

no photo
Wed 06/19/13 08:32 PM


All their loyalty and love and living as free as they can be.

i agree with old hippie about women being only as loyal as the length of the chain you put on them



well ese you gotta give us a reason!!!slaphead

no photo
Wed 06/19/13 08:35 PM



The question to men over fifty is, “now that you have experienced many of life challenges what is your vison of a good relationship?”


An independent woman and sex. I believe a romantic relationship requires sex to function properly. It's frequently said arguments/disagreements result in diminished sex but I believe the opposite is true. The sex diminishes first resulting in looking at ones partner as a roommate or pal or buddy and that's when things are looked at with a critical eye.

During the "honeymoon" stage, be it 6 months, a year, or whatever length of time do people argue over who emptied the dishwasher or who did the laundry? Two people are anxious to do more than their share for their partner. Then the sex slowly wanes and the "it's your turn to do...." begins.

I think we've downplayed the importance of sex to our own detriment. Told to look for similar activities, similar political views, similar views on life, etc. has resulted in the one thing that defines a romantic relationship, sex, being summarily dismissed. "It will happen naturally. Lust, desire, etc. are not important." we're told.

People eventually find out those things are very important. Cute quirks become annoying habits. The enjoyment of doing things for our partner become chores. What has changed?


the reason this happens is because of the emphasis on sex and not upon intimacy. train yourself to be intimate, appreciate intimacy and you will be a more desirable lover

sex without intimacy is a noisy horn, a clanging bell's soured note,

we want real music smitten


Where was the intimacy, the real music, when the gal was climbing the guy's bones during the Honeymoon period? They were happy just sharing each other.

Also, why do some people have to be "in the mood" before they engage in sex? Doesn't the touching and caressing get the person in the mood?

My view is sex is frequently looked at as "the icing on the cake" when it really contains the basic nutrients necessary to hold a romantic relationship together. It shouldn't be any more an option than talking to ones partner. One wouldn't say, "Do we have to have a conversation over tonight's dinner. I'm not in the mood to talk to you."

Anyway, that's the way I see it. I don't have any statistics but I bet many relationships slowly dissolve as sex occurs fewer and fewer times.


and I would say that if they were climbing bones without intimacy that explains the future issues

just replace the word sex with intimacy throughout your post and you be at ground zero, ready to begin

no photo
Wed 06/19/13 08:35 PM

Eehh, if she can make a really good sandwich and don't nag too much,
I'm good.


awesome

will that pastrami?

no photo
Wed 06/19/13 08:38 PM

I was just using traditional examples to make my point. There are no rules written in stone on how a good relationship works. A lot of us don't have a loving family to leave behind but we do have people in our lives who we mentor and who mentor us, that could be considered family.


nice post:thumbsup:

and the one before it too

no photo
Thu 06/20/13 06:10 PM


nice post:thumbsup:

and the one before it too

Thanks sweetestgirl11 you're the sweetest girl :smile:

GLrider's photo
Thu 06/20/13 07:41 PM
Just because I'm over fifty, it doesn't mean that my interests are set in concrete. There's lots of new things I'd like to try. Mostly I'd like to find a lady for a companion. Now because of my age, I tend to be a bit biased, and I wonder how active an excessively overweight woman is. Aching joints, bad backs, does not give me grand expectations of an active social life. And yes, I'd still want to have a cuddle buddy.smooched