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| Topic: Friends with Benefits | |
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If you don't have time for a relationship right now, but are interested in a friends with benefits type situation, I say go for it. As long as you're both on the same page and stay honest with each other about what's going on, I see no problem with it.
Sometimes, sex is what you need. There's nothing wrong with that at all. |
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Ya gotta be pretty cold blooded to make a FWB relationship work. I disagree. I'm sure some are that way, but definitely not all. |
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Friends with benefits is a myth
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wow lots of feed back but just for the record, my fwb was someone who is a friend as in we know each before i was married. he doesn't live in the same town as me in fact we only hooked up when we were both in our home town at the same time...as in my kiddos were visiting grandparents. Next, I have a busy life and i mentioned i have a son with autism therefore i can't just bring anyone around hence why i only met up with my friend when we are visiting our home town at the same time. Another thing i didn't say there would be more then one...one is sufficient. And to the person who said something about going ten years with out, lol that was funny because i went 7 years without, trust thats a whole nother post lol. most you were right when you said there are lots of factors to consider...but i'm 32 i was married for 10 year so this right now for me is like a temporary vacation...and going 7 years without...more like a refresher course...for those of u who know me you'll get the joke there. i don't think it makes me cold blooded, i just at a point where i know what i want. its not like it happens every day or each week or each month for that matter lol. thanks for ur input tho!!
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I love to kiss my friend..but she knows there no feelings in it..that is friends for benefits
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It isn't just imprinting, and the person does have a lot to do with it. Oxytocin does facilitate bonding in men as well as in women. I used to work in a medical school, and helped type up some of the research results on studies of this nature. I actually saw the research results and raw data. Cool, tell me more please 
I have had several conversations with friends who are doctors about this but they read the studies, they don't do them. They've said that men bond to the overall situation...the danger, the location and to a much lesser extent to the person. And they've said that the woman primarily bonds to the person. I'd be interested in what you know about this. if the Drs were men I would question their self interest. men who like to sleep around might attach themselves to this theory as justification for being pigs..... (so to speak - not meaning that amyone here is specifially a pig) |
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Friends with benefits is a myth I agree - call it what it is - a casual sex arrangement with no strings FWBs one of the partners is being used for sex IME usually the woman but I am sure a man can be the one being used in some circumstances and real "friends" would not do that to you or to each other |
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Summarizing the prior postings, I heard: o You deserve a lot more, o Wait until you find the right guy, o You may feel used, o You may feel feel guilty because it isn't "right", o You may get entangled, o If you can, go for it, o Warning: Just sex will never lead to a worthwhile friendship, o No! Think of the children! Regarding the first argument that you "deserve" more, I don't buy it. It's like going hungry with your friends at the Dairy Queen because you "deserve" a steak. Beware, however, that there is an opportunity cost with having FWBs: If your social groups gain an awareness that this is a fixed part of being you, it will scare off more serious suitors. Stated another way, if you get the "rep", you're stuck with it. Regarding the concern about your kids, I assume this would be on the down-low. But I totally get that your busy life may not really have the time for tending to a real "relationship", and the question you have to ask yourself is if you're willing to be celibate for the next 10 years while things calm down. I think you decided, "no". Best of luck to you. Hang in there. Keep us posted. I think that was very well stated... |
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