maybe you can tell me why i feel it....

You mean mingling? Awww, you should not feel that way. Join in the discussions. Goodluck. I hope you can divert your boredom by mingling or interacting and chatting. Hope to see you active.

How do I know what you are thinking?

If you feel it is a waste of time, so be it, don't do it. This is your first post here though in a span of 16 months roughly so I would say you have not really given the full site a chance.

He is just like me maybe. When i first sign in i really avoided the community. Im happy to mingle through messaging someone but when i got bored of searching whose online and checking on my inbox, i just jump directly to the forum without going to the new users area. Hehe. You know theyre just great. Im Happy to be here. Hope you are too soon.

I feel like this myself a lot of the time. No datable women talking to me; just people on the forums that live thousands of miles away that I have no chance of ever actually meeting; trying to feel more optomistic about it and reading post after post about how dating sucks etc.

People come on these forums because it's a social thing and let's be honest, they either have nothing better to do or are bored and fed up with being single.

They say, "Dive into the forums and that's the best way to meet people instead of just searching profiles and messaging". Well, that's what they say and there are even a few people that are willing to do the LDR thing but hardly anyone actually does that. It's just an online community and if you like it and want to be part of it it's cool but if you don't then it is going to feel like a waste of time.

I got this....

You have been here for half a day and got the strategic planning potential of a tic-tac.

If that is all you are willing to put into meeting this sites cool cats and babydolls...

If this makes no sense....go back to apologizing to your hand.

first post after 1.5 years? that should answer it for you... when or where do you meet woman without talking to them?

This site is no different then other sites it is here for your use. It does not do the work for you just gives you the tools to do them.. If one does not use what is before them then yes it may not be the place for them...

Amplifier busted a Stage?

Stick around,get known in the Forum!
Might just make the difference!

Why assume that he hasn't been talking to women on this site just because he hasn't posted on the forums before? I would have thought that if he's been on this site for that long then he must have been talking to women, or why even bother to hang around at all?

I suppose that it's possible that he's someone that just expects them to come to him because he made a profile but I've been on dating sites that didn't even have a forum and chatted with a lot of women on them. The first site that I went on was like that and it was fun for a while but all that I did get was chat and that was what was frustrating about it and that's what made it feel like a waste of time. Now I'm on here and I'm chatting with people on the forums but still not having much luck with it. What am I doing wrong? Is it because I don't live in America or what?

I think the people in America have just the same amount of issues in the long run, save there are more of them on here and as such have the largest pool of potential meet and greets.

A lot of the people in the forums use them JUST for online chatting... but many do use them to meet people. You get a better all around feel for many members by seeing and reading their thoughts in the forums. Of course the pool for meeting people close to you shrinks enormously in that regard, but that is the way it works. When you boil it down, you have 4 choices:

1. Talk to people in the forums and see who you click with, who clicks with you and where things could lead. Make some friends and share in interesting discussions. It could take 5 minutes or 5 years... there are no assurances nor any guarantees. It can be very much like real life except you can do it in your spongebob underwear and no one will say anything.

2. Wade through an endless amount of "Hi" or "Just ask" profiles with no information, not even interests on them. You could repeat the same experience walking around a shopping mall just saying hi to every woman you meet and chatting with the ones who don't dodge you like a leper.

3. Send messages to people who claim to share your interests and sound like they could be a good match, then hope they are not BSing you and are what they claim to be and not a psychotic killer claiming to be your dream come true.

4. Go away and try real life. (Or another site which really is just a repeat of the above or some variation of it)

It really is that simple.

With one entire post under your belt... how did you manage?

Spot on as usual Krup.

I know it's hard the first couple of times, but you really need to get out there, and associate in the forums. That way you can meet people and you can be seen.

Open up, tell things about you, but treat others with respect, and you will go far.

You will not get noticed and find that special someone hiding behind the scenes.

Just give it a chance, I found my other half on here.

I think it is a half-full/half empty kinda thing. There will be moments when I ask mahsef ifn' this is me talking to me or talking to some quasi-pros who have more time than do I to sit on these sites (agreed, the sites all have developed into different variations of vanilla). Or mebbe they's a real, breathing, lady who will reads mah chop an bees inspired to meets me and have her way with me.
BUT, whether contrived or genuine, the chat room contents is always the most encouraging.
Single sites started as plain-Jane chat rooms, with no profile frills, no lengthy self-surveys... that all sprouted outta being in the rooms, rubbing up against. They were a different kind of fun, but also a lot rougher - especially on the ladies, so we now get this, more mush-mouthed approach.
So, chil' you gotta spice it up! Can't do it with pix, cause that's just desparate. Can't do it with crudities, because there is always somebody more crude (Daniel Craig did it to me in his Rolling Stone Interview - yuk!).
What you are looking for is here, and she is just too frightened to accept you, too unsure of herself to advance, and if you don't haul out some inner man and reach out, she will be forced to suffer the fool who is less than you. He is definitely out here an she don't deserve to suffer.
So, standing out here, getting dumped on continuously, being constantly reminded of how decadent, how insignificant and how repugant you are, day after day after... has become our clarion cry of manhood.
Same as twenty, fifty or three hundred years ago. The internet just lets it get piled on faster. The point is, statistically, she's here. Your task is to find her and go home.

I know for a fact that there are plenty of people that find partners on dating sites without ever going anywhere near forums. It's just nonsense to say that you aren't going to get anywhere if you don't post on the forums. Most people on dating sites don't and most people are looking for somebody local and not for a long distance relationship.

I bet you that even most of the ones that do get into long distance relationships don't find their partners through the forums. I'm not saying that the forums are completely useless but they are overrated by a lot of the people that post on them and I don't think that they are indulging in much more than wishful thinking.

The Forums , while amusing and sometimes quite interesting are just excess time filler; same with browsing profiles, in which any with a microscopic amount of appeal or interest, have long been gone saying,"last seen over a month ago" which could mean several months to years. I have heard of some sites keeping the profiles of members that had been gone for a number of years because if they did remove them, their profile data base would go from 40 pages to about 10 pages meaning only about 50 actual females...meaning your prospects of finding someone to be basically zero if not into the minus zero odds.
I don't even bother anymore after seeing what the pattern was, so as for the time being, I still have some excess time and tune into the forums for the time being as at times someone makes some hilarious comments.

you get out what you put in. go on the threads and mingle with people

And it's usually people that have postcounts in the thousands that say that.

For some people internet dating works and they find somebody. Others hang about for years hoping to find somebody. Then there are the ones that do find somebody but they decide to stay for the forums.

Let's all keep telling people that the way to go is to post on the forums and maybe that will get more people actually doing that. It would be great if they would and then maybe some of the women on here that live near me will notice me and I wouldn't just have to search profiles and message women that don't know me and have never heard of me. I've been on a British dating site that had a forum and it was the same. Only one woman that lived anywhere near me on the forums and loads on the site that didn't bother and just came on to read and reply to messages. You have to put yourself out there and search the profiles if you want to try to get dates. If a site has a forum it's just a bonus but forums really aren't for everybody and they never will be.

We say we waste time, but that's impossible.
We waste ourselves.