I agree. I'm not defining secrets as huge skeletons in the closet but simply as one partner, maybe for the sake of peace, keeping their opinion or thoughts to themselves.
It's rare to find people who agree with each other on everything, and if they do, it might be because one of them has had to compromise on their own beliefs, again maybe for the sake of peace. That can alse build a lot of resentment in a relationship, so that what was a small issue like, he wants a white wall and you'd prefere a subtle shade of salmon or something somewhere down the line builds up into a huge case of him never wanting you to be happy.
It's not that we should want to argue but that we should accept that we are different and we will have varying opinions on matters. It doesn't mean you love each other any less. I think the biggest reason that some relationships fail is because we don't want to accept that we are different people. If you want to date yourself, take a mirror on a date.

yes, given your willingness to continue in a relationship with an argumentative competitive person. that I would not do. therefore I'd not be around long enough to keep secrets from such a man - or not

anyway I believe we are all entitled to the privacy of our thoughts and are under no obligation to tell anyone anything should we choose not to. I would also not continue in a realtionship with anyone who does not respect that type of freedom of conscience

I agree with you, a healthy relationship for me is when a couple talk about different topic with out the need to make an argument. Every person thinks and acts different, but if there is love, understanding and mutual agreement those little things should never get between.

true. there may be times though, and there may be things where we each just go our own way on....not things that are dealbreakers - just "agree to disagree" types pf things

to me, arguing about such a thing is a process of trying to get someone to change a belief they have....possibly unwillingly

and in my opinion, that would disrespect my partner

example:

I might not agree if he thinks billboard 100 music is better than numetal, but I can accept that - love him anyway - and even listen to Beyonce now & then :)

I see no point in arguing about it. that is disrespectful of his choice.

and we could be doing ....ummmmmmmm....other stuff that's more fun

I disagree as a strict rule

as a generality,, sure

but there are those couples who are best friends above all else, who know how to disagree with out it being personal or becoming elevated,,,

I would think if couples NEVER disagree, it may not be because of secrets that are intentional,, it might just be things that people are very private about,, even with their partner,,,

Lol unless the sex is great and they are perfect match

a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets.

Yes... for example... a man is wealthy, and finds the perfect woman for him, only she is poor... he introduces himself and doesn't tell her the truth to see if she will fall in love with him, for him, not his material worth... when they are in love he asks her to marry him, and then he finally tells her the truth... she might be offended at first, that he didn't trust her enough to be honest up front, but she does forgive him and accepts his proposal... and quite naturally, the relationship is made stronger at this point, not fight worthy...

This is an old as the hills scenario, just like the ones we read about in romance novels, where the millionaire meets the young virgin and after the run away and chase they eventually get married and live happily ever after...

My point being, not all secrets are bad and lead to arguments... nor do they have to be disclosed up front... I think that if a couple decides to wed, and hasn't come totally clean by this point, it's time too... or else let them forever hold their peace until death do they part... (imo)

I Agree!

Ya true

I guess everybody is entitled to an Opinion

*

Which ocean?

Hey Mr !Don't add fuel to the fire Lol

The main cause of nasty arguments in relationships is the inability that most people have to take criticism without getting annoyed and chucking their toys out of the pram. If you don't stand up to people and point out where you think that they are being unreasonable you are going to be treated like a doormat. This includes when you think that they are going on about petty BS.

People that wear plastic smiles and refuse to say a bad word against anybody think that they are superior and "agreeing to disagree" solves nothing. All you are doing is trying to sweep problems under the carpet. For sure some things just aren't worth arguing about but saying that "I'm not going to argue about it" is just something that people say when they want to get their way about something.

I admit that I did once have a go at an ex, for becoming the drinker he really wasn't when we first met. When I first knew him, he was more calm, but the older he got, the more he drank. On nights out together, he would constantly be using his credit card to buy alcohol. I only ever seen him buy alcohol. I started to wonder if I was the cause, but years later, he told me his university friends and his mum were all big drinkers, so he felt he had to keep it up. It's understandable. We all feel pressured at some point, but it was how he would make out with other women in the club, that broke my finsl straw. Made me think I meant nothing to him anymore. I wasn't gonna be in a relationship where he felt he could have sex with others, while being with me.

You and me are not too much different other than I'm not compatible with anyone and at this time in my life, see little to no use for a relationship.