Ok so we've all been hurt before in the past, but it knocks my faith in humanity a little. I've been on POF (another dating site called plenty of fish) before a few times and have been used by every guy i've ever dated. They all said that I was "perfect/beautiful" but they were just "messed up in the head." - Que bull excuse. So without being rude guys it'd be nice to know where all the nice, genuine and guys near my age (thanks 30-40+ year olds messaging me.)

P.s. never been on here before and am still learning how some features work, never really knew how forums worked either.

well i think you'll find that the non genuine will be the ones that want love now and cant wait to get to know u first

Well, for a start, you have your filter set so that only females can message you, so I doubt that you're going to get a genuine guy on here that way unless you message them first. Did you do that deliberately?

This is not speed dating, why not take your time to learn more about them first, find out what they are looking for and if they seem at all vague or "messed up in the head." You do not need to meet them. I am sure there are lots of genuine guys in the age range you require, you just need to sort the wheat from the chaff.
Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.

Wow! Quite a Strange and Discouraging Conclusion

Yeah and what does that make the OP then?

Complete accident to have it set to that filter, and males have still been able to message regardless...

Who said anything about a rushed process? I'm not on here to look for a quickly, love now. I like finding things out along the way. As for explaining myself to strangers... Yeah, I tend to avoid conflict and I specifically said delicacy would be nice, it goes a long way, the world forces people to be hard when they should have times when they are soft.

Who said I thought this was speed dating or a quick solution? I enjoy learning about people nor do I rush in meeting up, I never have. These people didn't seem vague or messed up in the head, people can wear what's called a mask and can be very good liars on top of that. So to be honest it's kind of like you're saying I need to stop being so gullible, don't meet up with guys (which has to happen otherwise it would be a meaningless internet relationship.) You can't really trust anyone online or in the real world so as for the genuine people in my area, there are very few and far inbetween...

What do you mean that you can't really trust anyone in the real world? If that is the case what are you dating for?

You are very young. I am not being patronising but you shouldn't be surprised that the boys that you got involved with turned out to be immature or "messed up". Were they teenagers?

Thanks for more details I understand better now. If a guy is going to tell you lies in order to win a date which can happen however you meet them, you only find out later. You are not gullible, we have to accept in good faith what people tell us until we find out otherwise, I have been led up the garden path by scammers before now. We live and learn, and as you say, if we don't meet them in real life then what is the point of looking in the first place. May be if we wait longer before we agree to meet them it will cause the liars to give up and look elsewhere.

Hiding from the cruel, cruel world.

Its self explanatory really without sounding rude. I'm not dating anyone... I joined a site and wouldn't date until I got to know the person and then a relationship after a while of dating the way it should be, it's about taking risks and trying to find someone who can be trusted.

I've always dated people older than myself actually, be it a year or 9 years, most were what society classes as 'men' but age doesn't define maturity, a lot of those my age have the maturity of a 12 year old.

They need to come out of hiding like me! lol

Thanks for more details I understand better now. If a guy is going to tell you lies in order to win a date which can happen however you meet them, you only find out later. You are not gullible, we have to accept in good faith what people tell us until we find out otherwise, I have been led up the garden path by scammers before now. We live and learn, and as you say, if we don't meet them in real life then what is the point of looking in the first place. May be if we wait longer before we agree to meet them it will cause the liars to give up and look elsewhere.


Exactly what I'm trying to say with this post I know I'm not the only one that's been lied to/betrayed. Life is a constant learning process and unfortunately you have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince.I used to be very trusting but holding back shows if the person cares enough to stay.

But then you have to define what kind of genuine? I'm genuine; fairly nice I think, but I'm also a nihilist.

You wouldn't know it by talking to me, but I really do not like most people...So then, being as genuine as I am, my chances are a little less than nothing. Hide from the world, or light it on fire.

So...Let's burn it all.

Unfortunately a lot of people are really only interested in playing the game. Just choose not to play it by their rules and things will probably go a lot smoother. Many sites like these have the unintentional effect of reducing my faith in true love and sensibility, but I have to remind myself that this and other sites do not speak for people as a whole, and there are a lot of deserving genuine people out there who feel the same way I do. I am sure it is the same for you.

I met and dated my first girlfriend when I was twenty-one (she was sixteen). This was back in the early '80s. We were together about two years, then she left me for a guy who owned a restaurant and they got married. I have been with many women since, but I always harbored a secret love just for her.

On July 4th weekend, in 2011, we reunited again, after thirty years. We have lived in this same small town all this time, but we never once saw each other—not in the store, not even driving around. Kind of extraordinary, if you think about it.

Anyway, we got together again and what began was like this storybook romance (she was, after all, the love of my life). We planned to get married and live out the rest of our lives together, but happy endings only happen in fairy tales. Reality set in after only a few months and what I had thought was going to be Paradise turned out to be just a trailer park. We split up on Christmas day, 2012.

It was the worst heartbreak I've ever experienced. I was devastated and it took me about eight months to get myself back together. Now I can look back on it all with a much clearer mind (and heart) and say yes—life IS a learning experience, and you can learn and grow from those experiences, as long as you can heal and move on passed them.

Next time I, too, will be more cautious and not jump into the pond so fast.

Yeah, I think that's what I was saying. You're eighteen though and you are dating older men. I don't think that it's that surprising that you are atracting the sort of people you're talking about.

Forget it !