hey dear you r sooooo beautiful n hot,awesome

cool...

So in other words, he was only curious about wanting to have sex with her, and once the mystery was gone he then decides to see her through others eyes, as his excuse to dump her??? just curios...

hello heavenlyboy, nice to meet you.. thank you for sharing your thoughts with us...

thank you for your comments, pacificstar...

Sinner mdn, this is not an appropriate comment to make towards me... please refrain from telling me and the rest of the world about your personal desires, as I have no interest, nor do I know you... if you continue to sexually harass me in this way I will report you to management.

your personal comments are NOT welcome, please refrain from talking to me in this manner.

I think a kinda factual and real like share by you my dear,seems like a neighbour's tale.

I think most people today have unrealistic expectations about relationships. We want someone to be our best friend, our lover, our caretaker. We want them to calm us when angry, make us smile when sad, have the right answer when we don't what to do, keep our secrets and grab us before we fall off a cliff. Just one person to be a whole village for us.

If you have a person that gives you awesome sex, why isn't that enough? You can find other people that give you the other things you need. I have friends with knowledge I don't have and I know things they don't. We exchange ideas on many topics. But, we don't have sex.

But, good sex can become an addiction. The other person can get you hooked and take advantage of you if you allow it. Sex feels good for both partners and no one should use sex as a tool to gain the upper hand. You must keep it in perspective. Sex is like air. It only becomes important when you can't get any.

hi TS, I like your analogy of relationship expectations... it makes me question my own... and no matter how deeply I contemplate this issue my mind and heart combined always prizes loyalty the most, even over love and sex. For some reason, to me, loyalty is the thread that binds my heart with another, and from its deep connection everything else flows naturally from it. If I am loyal to someone, just as if I am loyal to a cause or country, I devote everything that I am to honoring my commitment, and the more involved I am the stronger the bond becomes over time and experience... don't know if this makes any sense to you... or to myself for that matter, but it is what makes me tick...

sex is like air... it's only important when you can't get any.. cool thought..

Or she has already dumped him and he doesn't know why. He is stumped. Everything seemed to be okay till reality sets in. He is left wondering what happened. I think there needs to be something more than just great sex to sustain a relationship.

I don't mean to seem argumentative trout, but I'm still way confused... in your original narrative you say this guy is really infatuated and he finally makes the physical connection. And it's only after the relationship becomes more serious that his friends now start bashing the person he's involved with, by trying to convince him that the person is just using him. Then, after he listens to all the bad mouthing and has had his curiosity quenched, his infatuation quickly disappears, and he starts to see what his friends have been trying to tell him...

This is really messed up to me... maybe I'm just naturally siding with the underdog and wanting to defend that position... but... it doesn't seem like the guy is a victim to some predator out to take him... when he was probably the one who kept chasing his infatuation until he got what he wanted... and... these friends of his must not be friends of hers too, or else why are they out to sabotage her?

Ultimately, I think Michael Bolten says it best, about a man and his woman, and his friends that could very well be jealous that he has something they don't...

"When A Man Loves A Woman"
He turns his back on his friends if they put her down...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3u2_GQlwxbI

I think what RainbowTrout is saying is sometimes a man can become captivated by a woman that isn't good for him. His friends told him she wasn't good for him, but he was blinded by the awesome sex. After a while, he may begin to see that this woman really isn't good for him and his friends were right all along.

OMG!
A.R,you have creepies creeping in on you!?!?!
Pole sana!

That is a wonderful song and Michael has it right. "He is the last one to know."

and even if she is bad, he won't see it... until she dumps him and he's left wondering... maybe she wouldn't have left him if he'd told his friends to shut the hell up and leave his love life and his lady love alone... I know that's the first thing that will make me drop a guy like a hot potato... if he respects his friends more than he does me... and I say "let him go love his friends then"... yeah, I'm bad and I know it...

I have some good female friends and some good male friends. One of my male friends just had to make a choice between his lovely plants or her. I know that he is going to be hard to live with because of the withdrawals he will have to go through. He chose her over the plants. I offered to let him cry on my shoulder but he is too macho for that. He raised them from seeds and has babied them all their life. I know it will be tough on him but they want to have a child together and she has a good point as she doesn't want the authorities to be able to take away their future child. He has been trying to raise regular farm plants. He has raised some beautiful tomato plants. I know if puts as much attention towards their relationship and being a father to their child as he did with the plants he should be an awesome father.

But any ways he confirmed my suspicion about this lady who has been coming on to me. It wasn't just me who thought something was strange. My only concern was that she is my daughter's age. He said that she was going with this guy and the marriage failed because she liked older men. The guy found out that she dumped him for his father. After I found that out I have been keeping my distance from her. I don't want to be anybody's boy-toy especially if they are younger than I am.

Man.. giving up his well nurtured plants must have tempted him to hide at least one for old times sake.. just kidding... I agree if he's getting serious about his responsibilities he'll need his entire focus redirected, and I hope it works out for them.

Wow! I understand the need for distance too.. but being a boy-toy? I don't know trout, that might be pretty sweet if she pampers well...

Rainbowtrout, I have had friends from both my side and his, telling me what a ladies man someone was, while I was dating him. Though, it was hard to see if he was because he would follow me around like a teen obssessed with their favourite band. It only got obvious, when some Cheryl woman, told me how he used to say unkind stuff about me to her. That made sense in a way. He was a back-stabber, so I dumped him. I just don't get why your friends waited for your relationship to progress, before telling you. If I suspect anything, I say from the start.

Hi Rawrr... question please? When I first came to Mingle last November I was approached by a long timer and asked what I was coming here for, and after explaining that I was only interested in making friends, because at that time I was only 5 months post-divorce, I was warned that if I did start to like someone I should ask around about them to protect myself. Well, I've never asked anyone about anyone else because I thought I would be able to tell if someone was trying to take advantage etc... but now, all these months later after running into some pretty weird stuff here on Mingle I'm wishing that I could ask around to see what others have experienced with these same people... so how do we do this? Just privately email our friends and ask what they know? Or is there at least one thread dedicated to informing others about risks and activity?