Can an affair ever be positive and help a marriage?

I wouldn't think so. How can you trust a person that is cheating on you? I would think marriages are built on trust but what the heck do I know. Never been married but I wouldn't want a guy cheating even in a relationship. JMO

Maybe... but don't let your spouse find out.

No, a marriage is between two people, not three or four.

Yeah; I wonder if his wife knows he is looking for an intimate encounter.

GOOD for TROUBLE & most likely a break up.

It would appear that he is seeking the reasons 'why' for when wifey does find out...being the pro-active lad that he is.

Now all the reasons why it is never going to be positive or helpful can be discussed on this thread which he will more than likely read and discard...because he is going to do it anyway.

The only positive thing that i see that will come from this is...that his wife will uncover the truth and kick him out, thus he will inevitably join the ranks of the 'hard done bys' who have gone down this path and find themselves paying the mortgage on a house they no longer live in, and for kids that they have forfeited the right to be a responsible parent to in favour of the itch that wifey can no longer satisfy...ho hum. But i'm sure he'll find a way to justify all that.

Edit...and blame the wife for not taking care of business.

Yes. It would be great for your wife to know your looking for this so she can leave you and move on with her life.

Having an affair with the one you are married to might work. Have you ever tried any role playing. I have always been curious about that but never tried it except some with my departed.

Sadly it ends up that is not the wifes issue something is missing. Many times there is nothing missing but one imagines what they might be missing.


In the end, sadly its after the affair that they realize what they just gave up for something that was better as imagined than what ended up as real.

Affairs are destructive.

What?!!!!

An extramarital affair is nothing more than an act of selfishness on the part of the married person having it.

So, what answer did your wife give you about this question? I see you haven't said much since you started the post. I would love to hear what she has to say.

Yea, if your not getting any at home

^^^^who let the trolls out??

Ya!

ya gotta give to get... or use the other hand... one can get tired after a while..

Or, if as the wife, you are sick of it and your your husband's mistress is taking care of his needs so you don't have to.

Sometimes marriage is about business, and sometimes its about raising children.

Sometimes it involves two people who believe it means that that you own each other, body and soul.

You don't actually. If you are really hot for each other and totally satisfied... fidelity is nice. If not, honesty is better than lying about an affair.

If you are not getting it at home, then tell your wife... (or husband)...

"Fine, if you don't want sex, I am hereby informing you that I intend to engage in that activity elsewhere."

You did not get married with the intention of being celibate and being married to a partner who no longer wants sex .... not part of the understanding or agreement.

It also does not mean you are obliged to be your partner's sex slave. If you are not compatible sexually, you need to work something out.

But most people are too bound by social programming to be honest with each other.

Why yes it can! It can positively gaurantee you'll be signing those alimony checks and that should help her out of the marriage.