Okay, firstly I'm not from England. It says quite clearly on my profile that I'm in Scotland.

Secondly, I did not say that I thought that afairs are cool. What I said was that I think that it's possible that a couple having problems in their relationship can find some sort of resolution after one of them has an afair.

Here's an example: Their sex life has broken down. The woman feels undesirable and she is unhappy. She has an afair. The husband finds out about it and becomes jealous. She says to him, "Why do you care? You don't want to have sex with me anyway. This afair is making me happy and if you loved me you would want me to be happy" Now, let's suppose that the couple are not actually married because that's arguably just a piece of paper. The couple were no longer having sex. A man and woman that are no longer having sex are not in a sexual relationship and that makes them only friends. They decided to stay friends, even though they felt that their relationship was over. Anyway, the woman going with someone else forces the issue. It causes arguments and then the friendship starts to break down. The guy may even have tried accepting the afair because he does love the woman or thinks of her as his best friend and he does want her to be happy. He wants to be happy as well though and it's tearing him apart that she's now with another man. He says to her that he doesn't think that they can be friends anymore because continuing to see her and being around her while he's feeling jealous is making him unhappy. Sometimes it is only when you lose somebody that you realise how much you really love them.

I got involved in a situation like this. They were not married. She told me that the guy was her ex but he was also her best friend. She finished it with me telling me that she couldn't bear to lose the other guy. She said that she had been thinking about getting back with him and giving it another go. I haven't heard from her since. I don't know if she did what she did to make the other guy jealous and she did actually lie to me about how long it had been since her last relationship. The woman was confused and all over the place. I don't think she knew what she wanted but she made her mind up in the end. Would they have been better off getting relationship counceling instead of her seeing me? Possibly but they didn't and their "relationship" was supposedly over. Their relationship had been on and off for five years and they were "on a break."

I got involved with someone that was still involved with somebody else and this is not the first time that I've been involved with a woman that's come out with this "we're just friends" jazz. When my ex did that we had been on and off for years and she refused to commit to me, saying that we were just "friends". I went along with the casual relationship but during one of our breaks she met somebody else. She told me that he was just a friend too. I told her that I didn't think that we should keep seeing each other because I couldn't handle it that she was involved with someone else. I forced her to choose. She chose him.

Can an affair ever be positive and help a marriage?

Can an affair ever be positive and help a marriage?

Affairs are good for ending marriages and having the cheated on person take you for all you got, I would imagine.