I think we can all agree that you don't go into your date's home and start rearranging furniture, changing the channel, hogging the remote control etc.

That stuff can only happen if you get married.

Then begins the wars.

OR when the kids visit..

Questioning my outfit is a no no!

"Is that what you're wearing?"

"Is it on my body?"

I must admit, I have been one to complain about fashion. But, it has to be pretty bad. Baggie jeans, baggie T-shirt and dirty sneakers. C'mon, I'm taking you out. How about putting in a little effort to look good?

I can't say that any man has ever questioned what I was wearing but I have raised an eyebrow to what he is wearing. Really; jeans and a t-shirt for the symphony? I just rolled my eyes and asked him politely to put on a pair of dress pants and dress shirt but if he didn't; I discreetly kept my distance from him at the symphony.

When he kissed me ! I knew it was a no go.

If someone changed the radio station (or TV channel) without saying something about it and asking me first it would definitely bug me..It would make me feel as if I didn't exist or matter at all..I'm used to conferring about things and checking with others..The world doesn't revolve around "just me." I don't feel entitled to do whatever I want without considering the wants and needs of others..And I don't want to be treated like an "invisible nothing" who doesn't count or matter either...Guess I'm big on having boundaries and showing respect and consideration for other people..My husband and I were married for 24 years and we always talked to each other before we changed the TV channel or radio station etc. (Just out of consideration for each other.)

Ha!...are you paying?

I do agree that is it annoying when someone does that as its happened to me to but I certainly would not see this as a means to an end. I think sometimes people don't think when they do things like this and its not that they are being disrespectful; they simply aren't thinking. I would tell the person that I don't appreciate it and that they should ask next time. If they keep doing it; then its confirmed that they don't have any respect for you.

navygirl...I agree. Some people are just being themselves and doing what they normally do and don't have bad intentions..We all come from different cultures and have different sets of norms...It just seems easier to be with people who share a little more of our norms...No matter how nice we try to be it is weird to tell someone we prefer that they ask us first before they just reach over and change the radio station..We can come across as a weirdo or control freak or a parent figure..Don't you think? And it can create an odd situation and resentment in the other person because they want to feel relaxed and free. (Not controlled by us.)..I've always done best when I seek out people with more boundaries. (People who don't fiddle with other peoples' things without asking first.)

Agreed GreenEyes. Me; I was taught good manners and not to touch things that don't belong to me. I have been in other people's cars and have asked if I could change the radio station as I could never just do it without asking permission. I suppose its how we were raised. As I said; I wouldn't be to keen on someone doing that to me; but I also wouldn't get upset with them if they did; but I will certainly say something.

Are you saying you nag women about clothing if you think it's not up to par?

navygirl...I probably sound like a picky and obsessive compulsive person from my last few posts. But this isn't really true. I'm usually pretty easy-going...I guess I just spend time with people who don't "grab" or do things without asking first...The premise of this thread kind of shocked me...No one has ever changed the radio station in my car without asking about it first. And I haven't done this when I've been with other people in their cars either..It seems like kind of a "power trip" to me... I've known people who made a big deal about having to sit in the front passenger seat versus the back seat. (As if sitting in the back meant they would be considered of "lower status.")...People play all kinds of silly games to feel "on top" and important and special. Or in control etc. Don't you think?

I have had both the radio and tv changed on me but I dealt with it. The person(s) only did it once in each case so not a big deal but you are correct it could be interpreted as a power trip. My friends and I kid each other about sitting in the front or backseat but its never taken seriously. I always felt awkward when a couple want me to sit in the front seat as I am the third wheel so to speak and the couple should sit beside one another but some insist.

Certain small behaviors, mannerisms, and clues can really tell you a lot about how a person considers others and how you will be treated in a relationship on down the line. It is not like they are going to give you a written statement or walk around with this big disclosurer emblazzoned on their forhead.

But yes I think most of us get subtle little tells that maybe things are going to ultimately deteriorate and probably it is better to be aware early on and move on before you end up wishing you could and are stuck in a miserable situation.

People can have different lifestyles that don't necessarily make them a bad person but if it is so different from yours then they might not be right for you for more than casual date or a friend to visit in small doses.

Nope. I see what she has on. If I think it's inappropriate, I ask her to change. If she refuses, I leave her at home and go without her.