We're all adults in this forum, so let's be honest.... most of us are trying to find THE ONE..others the one for the night.

This question is for those wanting more than the one nighter:
When should the sex talk be brought up? If the woman brings it up will he think she's easy?

I think we all agree sex on the 1st date is out....at least it is if you want to see him/her again!
What about the 2nd date if you've been talking non stop since the 1st date!

I know when to get busy is a personal decision but when you haven't been out there in a while, lines of propriety can get blurred.

I don't do one nighters. At least I don't plan to have them. Anytime I have sex with a woman I assume we'll be doing it again, many times.

Also, I don't think the first date is too soon. Most of my first dates end with sex. But, I also plan great first dates.

I don't think sex needs to ever be actually discussed until after it's been going on for a while and one person wants something special added to the mix.

And here is the miscommunication between Men and Women. If the date is great... I'm waiting on the sex... because I want to see him again and not because he wants a repeat perfomance.

Out of the women you had sex with on the 1st date... how many of them were " girlfriend" material?

Or did you just put them in the friends with benefits category?

In the age of internet we should know something about our prospective partner prior to the date. So I would make my decision on the first date, yeah, I'm easy. But when you really like someone and want to grow closer, no time is too soon.

All of them were "girlfriend material." I don't have sex with women I wouldn't want for a girlfriend. Moreover, I don't even ask a woman out unless I think she's girlfriend material.

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All of them were "girlfriend material." I don't have sex with women I wouldn't want for a girlfriend. Moreover, I don't even ask a woman out unless I think she's girlfriend material.


Well, I'll have to hand it to you Texas... Most men do not have this mature of an attitude about sex on the 1st date.

I'm willing to bet for most it's ... Wow, she gave it up on the 1st date ... moving right along, unless of course I get horny again.

I think it depends on how each individual relationship was developed, therefore there is not necessarily a one size fits all type of answer.If you just met someone in the morning, went out that evening and had sex that night, then I would think that is too soon.

How do you define "date" vs let just meet up for coffee? Some don't consider the latter to be a date but some do, which can cause confusion. IMHO meeting at Starbucks, Paneras, or some get a quick bite to eat is not a date, but some think it is. Because for some a date is a more formal we are going out type of situation to a specific place, at this specific time to do a specific thing.

Most of us adults today spend more time getting to know each other before we even see each other. Especially for those of us that use online forums and sites to initiate contact. We talk online, talk offline,text, chat, send pictures and may even enter into sexual conversation about our preferences even if it is not originally intended to be with each other. So by the time we may finally have that first date, we may have talked with that person for three months or more.

I never expect sex on a date. I was raised with a different mindset that the woman basically controls the sexual aspect of the relationship including when sex is given. Whether she physically or verbally communicates that it is ok, she must be clear about it with me. As was said in another thread, if she says no that means no. Period. End of discussion. I wait until she is crystal clear that is what she wants and where it is going. It doesn't meant it has not happened, or will never happen again. Just that I personally do not expect it. I know it is not romantic but it keeps me out of trouble!

I will hang out or meet up with almost anyone - because I have no expectations but just the event we are attending. If I visit a town on business that someone I have met online is in, if we have a good online relationship we try to at least meet someplace very public to say hello. I try not to even go out on a date with women that could not be potentially be a good steady, long term girlfriend. Whether it happens or not who knows, but at least I believe they would be a great choice. Quality, quality, quality!

As to which category they go into - to me FWB is still a relationship, just a lower threshold of expectations from each other. If you are my FWB you are my only FWB.

that used to be males in college. now it seems like that's males in high school. most males get over that. maybe you think that "for most" is due to the fact that the ones doing that are the ones you (and other females as well) encounter. the hit it and quit it cats are out there and those are the ones exposed. the rest of the cats are either in a one on one relationship or quietly searching

btw, men in texas have been raised to respect people, places and things

I have had both. My one night stands are generally pure pick up; for example going to a bar and the Art Museum is actually pretty good; HOWEVER, if I actually ask her out on a date then I am expecting to take a shot at a relationship.

Obviously were all ******** outside of Texas.

This sounds all pretty guys but I find it hard to believe.

I'm no angel I've had sex on the 1st date but usually with a guy I had NO interest in past that night.
I'm not proud of it... and I've learned from it.
If I don't like him he will know by the end of the date.

I'm older now...and I know what I want. A good sex partner is one of my dealbreakers! I don;t want to get too wrapped up in him and he's a terrible lover. Been there DONE that!

However, I don't want to come off like a B*tch in heat either, by going there too soon!

Your honesty is refreshing. Please don't use my personal example as indicative of all men. Also know that what we plan to do and what happens are two different things. I have learned to never judge why a women may choose to have sex on a first date. Could be horny. Could just be the moment. Could be she really likes me like that. Am I turned on if a woman that I like is ready to go there? HELL yea. Has it happened? Yes. Will it happen again? Yes, probably. Was it planned? Never on my part, once I got past college.

What I appreciate is the honesty of knowing where I stand with a woman. It is because of past experiences when way younger that I think the way I do. Why screw up a great friendship assuming she wants to sleep with me? Why sleep with her just to satisfy my urges and then I am stuck in a relationship I can not deal with? I learned in college to control those impulses and always think about what strings may be attached if this happens. Communication prevents later heartache in this area for me.

Again I am very different in my thinking and is not indicative of most men.

You can take the ******** out of Texas, but you
can't take the Texas out of the ********.

if the bster were here, i'm sure she would say that ******** are found all over the universe. after she told me to suck her dick of course

Haha B's legacy lives on!

There isn't a set schedule of when to talk about sex. It's up to you and the person you're with.

And no, I don't think sex on the first date is out if you want to see them again. It just depends on the person you're with.

I don't have sex with those I don't like and don't want to see again. I never understood the appeal of that.

Your honesty is refreshing. Please don't use my personal example as indicative of all men. Also know that what we plan to do and what happens are two different things. I have learned to never judge why a women may choose to have sex on a first date. Could be horny. Could just be the moment. Could be she really likes me like that. Am I turned on if a woman that I like is ready to go there? HELL yea. Has it happened? Yes. Will it happen again? Yes, probably. Was it planned? Never on my part, once I got past college.


I don't sugar coat ****... especially when I'm trying to get an honest answer.

But Thanks!

Now Real Talk... Ladies and Gents!

Normally....if I am on a first date and three hours into the date she is grabbing my schlong, then I take it to mean she wants to go to bible study.