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Topic: Cohabitation- does it make or mar a relationship?
Muaness's photo
Mon 11/12/12 09:03 AM
Edited by Muaness on Mon 11/12/12 09:04 AM
I need you guys opinion over this topic. Personally, I am against it.
However, I want to have a balanced view over this issue because I have argued many times with friends over this topic.

no photo
Mon 11/12/12 09:24 AM
well eventually you have to move in if you give two ****s, no?
if you guys **** it up,
oh well.
the end.
o.O

Duttoneer's photo
Mon 11/12/12 09:41 AM
If we had reached the stage in our relationship of wanting to live together, I would expect us to be getting married and had already set the date.

no photo
Mon 11/12/12 09:57 AM
Edited by Leigh2154 on Mon 11/12/12 10:54 AM

I need you guys opinion over this topic. Personally, I am against it.
However, I want to have a balanced view over this issue because I have argued many times with friends over this topic.


I think cohabitation can be good or bad depending upon the couple's reasons for deciding to live together and their individual circumstances at the time they make the decision... Once you commit to living together many things that did not affect the dating relationship can now become issues....Children from past relationships, ex's, money, health, jobs, hell, even personal hygiene, housekeeping and food choices can create issues that never had to be confronted when dating!...
Some benefits include getting to know each others daily living habits, cost effectiveness, and learning first hand each others personal level of responsibility...Some drawbacks for me would be lack of personal space, changing expectations (mine and his), and the "clean up" required if it didn't work out....
Now that society has removed the stigma, I think cohabitation is a personal choice...The reasons for choosing it are unique and special to each couple....I will say is this, if you are asking the question because you are considering it, you're probably not ready...It's a big step, one that is most ideally made as a precursor to marriage....

lilott's photo
Mon 11/12/12 10:35 AM
Not even. I don't want some wench messing with my stuff.

Bravalady's photo
Mon 11/12/12 10:59 AM
Edited by Bravalady on Mon 11/12/12 11:01 AM
For me it's essential. I've been on my own a long time and tend to want things my way. I can be snappish. It's important to have the guy know that when I say I'm not easy to live with, I'm not just being overhumble. Need to experience the situation so the two of us could find out if we'd be able to work things out together after all.

B. can say, if it doesn't work out "oh well," but I'd far rather have that happen in a living-together situation than a marriage. I have a hard enough time trusting as it is. If I put enough trust in life to get married again and then have that one blow up too -- CAN'T face that idea. Would rather test it out in baby steps first.

Gossipmpm's photo
Mon 11/12/12 11:02 AM
no way.....

one thing i hate....


people in my kitchen!!!:heart:

msharmony's photo
Mon 11/12/12 11:20 AM

I need you guys opinion over this topic. Personally, I am against it.
However, I want to have a balanced view over this issue because I have argued many times with friends over this topic.


it depends upon the level of commitment and the people involved,,,

some are really the 'sharing' type and thrive well with a live in partner

others are more into their 'space' and probably damage the relationship trying to share too much too soon

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 11/12/12 11:24 AM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Mon 11/12/12 11:27 AM

I need you guys opinion over this topic. Personally, I am against it.
However, I want to have a balanced view over this issue because I have argued many times with friends over this topic.


It Mars any serious relationship before marriage. However, many people date, so they do not want any thing serious or longterm. So, it depends on what type of relationship a person wants. Many want a friend relationship with benefits.

no photo
Mon 11/12/12 12:02 PM
Edited by Jeanniebean on Mon 11/12/12 12:03 PM
If you really get along then sure. But keep your finances separate and don't become dependent on each other. You want to both be able to go your separate way when the time comes. I don't really believe in marriage, but the same goes for marriage. Don't dig a trap for yourself that you can't get out of.

Yep, I don't like commitments. LOL

Muaness's photo
Mon 11/12/12 12:35 PM

no way.....

one thing i hate....


people in my kitchen!!!:heart:

Lol.

Muaness's photo
Mon 11/12/12 01:03 PM
Edited by Muaness on Mon 11/12/12 01:11 PM


... Once you commit to living together many things that did not affect the dating relationship can now become issues....Children from past relationships, ex's, money, health, jobs, hell, even personal hygiene, housekeeping and food choices can create issues that never had to be confronted when dating!...
Some benefits include getting to know each others daily living habits, cost effectiveness, and learning first hand each others personal level of responsibility...Some drawbacks for me would be lack of personal space, changing expectations (mine and his), and the "clean up" required if it didn't work out....







You've really made some good point. Truely, everything in life has its advantage/disadvantage. In the case of
cohabitation, I kind of believe its disadvantage outways its merits just for the simple fact it creates much room for fault finding. Faults that in a higher level of commitment(marriage) could be easily worked on.

no photo
Mon 11/12/12 01:44 PM



... Once you commit to living together many things that did not affect the dating relationship can now become issues....Children from past relationships, ex's, money, health, jobs, hell, even personal hygiene, housekeeping and food choices can create issues that never had to be confronted when dating!...
Some benefits include getting to know each others daily living habits, cost effectiveness, and learning first hand each others personal level of responsibility...Some drawbacks for me would be lack of personal space, changing expectations (mine and his), and the "clean up" required if it didn't work out....







You've really made some good point. Truely, everything in life has its advantage/disadvantage. In the case of
cohabitation, I kind of believe its disadvantage outways its merits just for the simple fact it creates much room for fault finding. Faults that in a higher level of commitment(marriage) could be easily worked on.


I think you are right on track with your comment about fault finding and an unwillingness or LESS willingness to work out problems when couples opt to live together....I wonder how many failed relationships would have succeeded if the couples had not chosen cohabitation over marriage....:smile:

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 11/12/12 01:57 PM
For me it would be required. I think it is the only way you see all sides of another person.

Muaness's photo
Mon 11/12/12 02:07 PM
Edited by Muaness on Mon 11/12/12 02:08 PM

For me it would be required. I think it is the only way you see all sides of another person.


If the person see all your sides too, nobody might be willing to take side

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 11/12/12 02:08 PM
Better to find out early than late.

Muaness's photo
Mon 11/12/12 02:14 PM

Better to find out early than late.

I am certain you aint expecting a perfect match?

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 11/12/12 02:16 PM
Everybody has idiosyncrasies.

Kahurangi's photo
Mon 11/12/12 02:17 PM
Communication is a must...

Pick up empty beer bottle
Put in recycle bin...simple

unga unga<<-----<<<<which translates to "Please stop flicking through the T.V channels during the ads...it gives me photophobia"

no photo
Mon 11/12/12 02:18 PM

Everybody has idiosyncrasies.


laugh

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