im 18 i made this mingle account because i was bored not for dating reasons but have being on here i see that theres alot of wise people on here i can learn from soo

my fear is becoming a man and starting a family but i feel as though i wont be happy with myself and she wouldnt be happy with me if i do not be come rich and famous. iam i putting to much stress on my self and money? or should i use this to push me to make it in life?

You said you were 18?...You are putting way to much stress on yourself...do what makes you happy for now..If you love yourself..a woman will too..and about the money...if that b!!!tch only wants money and fame...find someone else.Find a woman that loves just you without all the other..and no rush..you are very young.


JMO..

I was taught that the measure of a man is how well he takes care of his family.

As long as all the needs of your family are covered, you will be just fine.

You are already way ahead of many young men your age by being open to change and growth, and by being aware of the responsibilities that come with having a family...Even so, 2Kids is right...This is your time for discovery....Learning about yourself, enjoying your freedom, and working toward building the kind of life YOU want enjoy!......Higher education (college or trade school) might serve to lessen the stress you are currently feeling by putting you in position to adequately provide for a family when that time does arrive....Best of luck to you young man...

Unless your desire is to become a sugar daddy for a sycophant leech, don't worry about becoming rich and famous. Just do what you enjoy doing.

Bad news: you're not gonna cure your boredom by being a member here. Though sometimes this place makes me laugh, seldom are there wise people. Guess you pick and choose.

A teenager's years are really the worst, yes I said it, the worst years of ones life...because we just don't know anything, and if we have controlling parents it makes things worse than the next person. For the most part, mentally, hardly anyone had it good when we were younger. We had memories but really, were they that great? Really we were so new to the world and haven't attempted to carve an identity out for ourselves. When I was growing up I did what I was told and this was the worst advice you could follow in every decision you make. I questioned a lot of things growing up. Parents are there to teach us not to kill or hurt people when we don't get our way. This is the extent of their control. Anything else and they are just hurting us in the long run. Compassion is not brought to every child. Love is not a guarantee to us and sometimes we are meant to figure out just what that is as we get older. So when we finally TRY in life, we fail, feel terrible and "wanna die" because our parents never let us experience anything. More or less, only what they want us to do, what they failed to do in their lives when they were our age.

The fear you're talking about is manufactured. Can I ask WHY are you afraid? Is this what you keep hearing from people who are older and claim to know more than you? Or is this because you are scared of failure? Trust me when I say this is YOUR life and as long as you aren't hurting people in the obvious sense, there is nothing to really be afraid of. People who promote fear and shame in their children never tried a damn thing in their lives worth noting.

Agreed. You really think being rich and famous will make even YOU happy? Read the news more closely. All it will do is make it easier for you to get addicted to drugs and otherwise have your head turn into a pickled turnip. And any woman who is only happy with a rich and famous man isn't worth your time.

Get outdoors, watch a few sunsets, build something with your own hands. Learn to cook. Then see who's around when you're doing those things. They're the worthwhile people.

Money doesn't buy happiness...But it sure helps.

Where does the rich & famous expectation come from? Women want honesty, loyalty, real love & a man who puts family first. If you can be that man, you will be a hero in her eyes.

You only need to be rich and famous if you want to marry a super model. Regular women want a guy who is down to earth and can provide for himself. Do what makes you happy, if you are happy you will attract others who are happy.

What she said!!

But live a little before you settle down!

I think this lady got it right. very much so.

But then again, you must keep your family financially sound. Which can't be done these days unless you are rich and famous and on drugs. A regular bloke could easily support a five-piece family in the nineteen fifties and sixties, and a regular bloke along with his wife also working could easily work overtime all his life to support his two children and the bank's shareholders with his mortgage, and the industrialists, in the seventies, eighties, and nineties, but this is the twenty-first century. Guys can get fired at a moment's notice, if your kid gets sick you will need to sell your house, because medical help is so bloody expensive, and people in America are actully FIGHTING tooth-and-nail to keep it that way.

You can end up on the streets in a straight-dive from a suburban middle-class living in the turn of a few months.

Also, the Chinese government may buy the entire city you live in, and evict you, and put in little chinese emigrees there. It is not fantasy, it's happneing.

So Bravalady got it right, but for a different era of American history. Now you have to learn how to use a weapon, know the difference between crack, schnutz, snow, blitz, and meth, because they are going to be the new currencies after the US dollar goes belly up.

If you want to survive and have your family along, then you have to become rich and famous, that is true. And farm yourself and your wife out as geisha man and woman to the chinese who will sit on our necks, and slave drive us like you wouln't believe was possible.

She's right too. Supermodel!! Yeah, man, that's the ticket.

All your old goofy teachers will be slobbering and wishing they had taken your career path.

Go, boy, go!! Rah, rah, rah!! You can do it!!

To be young again...

Just find happiness..or all else will blow up in your face.

Whoa. Why did not anyone give me that advice? My entire life could have been different.

I could have cut out all the misery and suffering and sorrow and pain.

Pixie... where were you when I needed to hear that advice.

If you put your happiness first, then life will at least seem easier. Maybe not life-changing, but life will never be easy. Might aswell make jokes and have a good belly laugh.

Ha!...if only i had known me back when i was 18. I wouldn't know so much now..lol..wrap your head around that one ;-)

You're 18 and already thinking ahead to a family. Admittedly i have seen a couple of young families start at your age, and still very committed some 20 odd years later. I don't know how they did or continue to so, but i think it might have something to do with being selfless or something like that. Families can keep you grounded and perspective where it should be. What's my point?...oh yeah...one has to have a goal to be driven to acheivement.

What's yours?...to be rich & famous?...or to have a happy, healthy, well balanced family?

Thank you all for the advice! I'm not looking to be rich I just don't want to struggle and lose sleep at night because I'm stressed out. I'm now at the age where I need to plan ahead because in a couple of years I will leave the nest no more relying on mom and dad 24/7

Fear is natural. One way to overcome your fear is to go out and live life. You're bound to make a few dumb mistakes, but learning from those mistakes is what will help you grow as person.

While I'm not convinced that you will fail due to ego and pride (you are young and have a lot of life to live) the fact that you recognize these are huge drivers for you is an important and insightful realization. Relationships fail when a partner chooses ego and pride over love. Just continue to be aware (not fearful) that your emotional needs include these elements as you move forward in life and love. You'll be fine and happy...I'm sure of it!