Tried my hand at matchdotcom with the trial. Someone showed interest and i met her for coffee. After our meeting i sent her a text later that night. During our text exchanges i let her know that i am insecure with myself and asked her what she thought of me. She said the first thing that came to her mind was "****, he's hot.". It made me feel so good about myself.

When I was 15, i got my first girlfriend, who i fell in love with and married. She always said i was good looking, but i didn't really believe it too much because of her attractions to celebrities and models.

So, back to the point.... This girl and I have seen eachother 4 times. I treated her to dinner one night, hung at her house twice to watch movies, and we went out to a comedy show in Hollywood just the other week. The texting was daily... good morning, blah blah blah. I started to feel a little more comfortable and opened up, revealing my weakness of being alone. She comforted me with good words and we said goodnight. The next day i texted her. That's when the texts stopped. I have a gift coming in the mail that i ordered for her. It didn't arrive the day I said it would, so i shot a text saying "it didn't arrive yet, and hope she is well.". Later that day i get a response saying how busy she was and sorry she didnt reply. That was a few days ago. So i stopped texting for a few days to give her space because i feel that i may be trying too hard. Still....... nothing. I shoot another "just saying hi, hope all is well.".... still no reply....

The reason that this is posted in the Rate section is because i want to know, am i attractive? My childhood really ****ed up the way i look and feel about myself, and i beat myself down daily because of it. Also, did i scare her away? We got along great and i never once made an advance to be 'physcal' with her, because that's not what i am looking for. Don't get me wrong, its a plus, but i lead with my other head. I have been around alot of adult themes in my life (my dad had a porn shop that was a part of our home), so casual sex isn't really what i look for. A friend, a relationship, a partner, that is what i need. Wow i am going off... sorry.

why do you associate your looks with having a successful relationship? one doesn’t necessarily guarantee the other.

yes you scared her; insecurity is never an endearing quality. telling her over and over again, (like you have with us in your post.) is the equivalent of signing your own (relationship) death certificate.

fishing should only be done with a line in the water, not by asking someone to build up your self-esteem. that is a lot to saddle another person with. and honestly, by your own admission, it’s not enough for someone to assure you “She always said i was good looking”, so how can anyone see more than a needy personality?

not trying to be mean here, but can you see how this action can sabotage things?

i dont know..... i am not good with all this. i am somewhere i never planned to be in my life. no education, everything i know i have taught myself. Been living on my own since i was 17. now i must be a father and a mother... im confused.... i need REAL input, so don't hold back. i never had a relationship with my father. he let me do as i chose, and talked bad about me and my future the whole time. i never had somebody to give it to me straight. Their reasons were always "I didn't want to hurt you or make you feel bad."...... well.... thats not fair.

im not meaning to associate my looks with relationships... have so much bottled up, that it all comes out in a big jumbled mess.. lol. It seems to me, all women are attracted to good looking guys, and half of these guys are douche bags that would use and abuse any chance they get. im just very confused. they want you to be open, but im like a childs closet, once open, it all falls out.

Edit: i have never been fishing. i went to the water once, and a fish jumped into my arms. i don't know how to be someone that im not.

well it’s ok to be you, in fact it is vital, however your insecurities are your issue. don’t make them hers as well and don’t ask her to fix them, you have to do that.

Read your profile and it doesn't say if you work but I think you are a nice looking young man and seem to be a great dad...You might want to consider going into therapy for awhile...They do have places that are free or a sliding scale, also group therapy.. It seems like you are on the right track, getting involved in activities outside the home...We all have some insecurity in our lives...Take your time, just enjoy being around others and make friends... Good luck and keep us posted..

thank you for your honest input. it's what i really need at this point, because i am clueless. i thought women wanted honesty, but i can see where i crossed the line. wish i could try it again.... :( just feel so empty without a partner. 13 years.... that was half of my lifetime, i don't know how to function alone. i still feel like a kid, hehe.

i relocated after my house went into foreclosure. took my girls with me because their mother isn't able to care for them. no where to turn but the house i was raised in as a young child. so yeah, Grandmas Boy now. got my girls into preschool, and am looking for work. everything calls for some type of experience, and customer service is not for me (severe social anxiety). It's going to take some time, i know, until i feel like myself again. Just need reassurance that i can do this, and i MUST for my girls. once again, thank you so very much for your input. :)

Being very insecure and putting yourself down because of it all the time will probably push people away. Confidence is attractive. Insecurity is not.

i dont let my feelings or emotions out. i only do so once i feel comfortable around someone. if you met me on the street, you would have no clue what goes on inside of me. nobody knows but me. i don't talk about myself with people. what you are reading here is what goes on in my head.

You may not think it shows, but it most likely does.

....... i am at a loss for words.

I would like to refresh this thread to it's original purpose. I was going for a Review type post, but ended up being swept away in the current of my emotions. Lol. It happens to the best of us. I am new to the 'personal' side of online posting, whereas i have always posted for work or hobby in the past. So.... please review and provide feedback. Blessed Love....

Very pleasant profile, kids are darling.
Patience is the game here :-)

Thank you very much. My girls are my everything. I am a very proud father. :)

Your profile is fine, but I must say, for me the blue face is just too,,,,,,,,,,,,,BLUE! Can you fix it?

You are plenty attractive enough and you are proving that you have good values, too--not only in how you talk about your (beautiful) daughters but because you don't spend time criticizing your ex. I for one always look at what a man has to say about past relationships, because I figure if he spends a lot of time dumping on them then (1) he has a negative soul and (2) he hasn't gotten over them.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to turn from the past toward the future. We can't change our past, whether it was good or bad. What we can do is take steps toward a better future. Making the best of what we have and figuring out how to build on it. Some people do this naturally, others (like me) have to work at it constantly, but it's worth the effort.

We always think about our negatives, our weaknesses. We don't think enough about our strengths. And what we think about is what we present to others. So even though your insecurities are real and you have good reasons for them, spend more time thinking and talking about the positive lessons you're learning and what's looking up for you. It takes time, but in my opinion it's the only way. Good luck! You deserve it and I believe you can find it.

Thank you. I know i have many strengths, if i didn't, then i wouldn't be able to be a strong father. You are absolutely correct. As for the blue face pic, lol, that was a quick pic i took with my phone upon registering.

Well, I like this one much, much better ...You look like a cool daddy daddyo

Welcome to Mingle !!

LUCK, LOVE, HAPPINESS!

A lack of self confidence to a woman is like blood to shark.

They will just circle and crap on you after they eat you alive.

Remove any source of pity or self loathing from your profile. Forget the history, the girls speak for themselves. Just say you a looking for a loving relationship and the girls are part of the package.

When you meet a woman, keep this in mind too.

When you email a woman, keep this in mind too.

In fact, till you are dead, keep this in mind.