This is the fairy tale that should have been
read to us when we were little:
Once upon a time
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in a land far away,
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a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
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happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
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The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

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One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
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and then, my sweet, we can marry
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and set up housekeeping in your castle
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with my mother,
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where you can prepare my meals,
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clean my clothes, bear my children,
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and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. "

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That night,

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as the princess dined sumptuously

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on lightly sauteed frog legs

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seasoned in a white wine

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and onion cream sauce,

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she chuckled and thought to herself:

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I don't f**kin think so.