It would really help out if we had more knowledge then just what is in the scriptures of the Holy Bible. We have much more, think it is in Vadican if I'm not mistaken, not sure if that's spelt right either lol. But I do have knowledge that we have much more scriptual knowledge then what is included in the holy bible. As a matter of fact, the holy bible is basically a summary and what "they" deemed as important for us to know. This isn't done to keep things secret persay, just the holy bible is ment to be able to carry around with you and what not. This could not be done if all the scriptures were included.

I found this bit of trivia on the history of marriages @ http://www.essortment.com/history-marriage-21303.html
You may further you study as you wish.

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Are you familiar with the history of marriage and customs and laws. Marriage customs reflect public need and opinion.


It is very hard to be able to establish a true date on the first marriages although the Old Testament in the Bible does mention a little about marriage as it was considered a family and household affair. The oldest male relative was the caretaker of the girls and the prospective husband would ask the father for the girl after first bringing him gifts to win his approval. The mother was dominated by the father and had no choice in the matter. The father would transfer the daughter to the prospective husband in public as this showed that he approved this transfer and that the groom had the father's approval. After this transfer the bride and groom ate a meal together with the families and then the groom took the bride home. In the Old Testament of the Bible there is no mention of a formal exchange of vows or of a preacher or priest being present at this union.


In the time of the Roman Empire (17 B.C.- A.D. 476) the lower classes who became Christians later had common law or free marriages. The father would deliver the bride and the agreement of the two was called a consensus to wed. Then eventually as Christianity spread the church interpreted a "free" marriage as a conscience marriage. This agreement meant that each partner was to keep the marriage vows and the marriage intact.


There were Romans who were very wealthy who would sign documents consisting of listing property rights and letting all know that they wanted this union to be legalized and not to be thought of as a common law marriage. Thus this began the official recording of marriages as we do today. Roman men could dissolve the marriage any time as it was a male privilege, not one accorded to females.



In A.D. 527-565 during the rein of Justinian lawyers drew up laws called the Justinian Code and this was a regulation of their daily life including marriage. Up until the time of the Justinian Code just saying you were married was enough.


Until the ninth century marriages were not church involved. Up until the twelfth century there were blessings and prayers during the ceremony and the couple would offer their own prayers. Then priests asked that an agreement be made in their presence. Then religion was added to the ceremony.


English weddings in the thirteenth century among the upper class became religious events but the church only blessed the marriage and did not want a legal commitment. In 1563 the Council of Trent required that Catholic marriages be celebrated at a Catholic church by a priest and before two witnesses. By the eighteenth century the wedding was a religious event in all countries of Europe.


In Colonial times in North America the customs of the old countries were followed. There were some who only wanted a civil ceremony and not a religious ceremony. The Colonists who wanted civil marriages passed laws to this effect.


Civil magistrates would perform marriage ceremonies and they would even include prayers in the ceremony.


Viriginia was a colony that stayed with the customs of the church and did not permit anyone to have a civil marriage ceremony as they followed the Church of England. By the end of the eighteenth century both religious and civil marriage ceremonies were legal in American.


In European countries today, civil marriage ceremonies are legal as in America. Even in England, the couple can choose to have either a religious or civil ceremony.

The best bit of information we have on this I believe is the following verse. Outside of all the sexual sins/immoralities the bible tells us about this one hits it right on the head.


1 Corinthians 7:9
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Thank you! That is how I see it too! Not about just having kids, it is about satisfaction too!

All unionships are sanctioned,endorsed by higher authorities before being legitimately functional,recognised...talk of sex b4 marriage,the devil is always on the look out for loopholes that aint got divine insurance...thats why methink its wise to quickly commit sincere potential marriage unions to God solemnly anywher,anyhow.... Hey i need friends! :-)

I absolutely love the way the one member responds to this topic. I agree totally in abstinance outside of marriage. It is worth it to be pure and whole until you meet the one God has intended for you. Even for people who have had to divorce for one reason or another, can be a chance for abstinence again, and wait until the right person comes along. i would rather wait and save my entire being for the one person God has intended for me that to bounce around from one danger to another with all the various STDs that are out there, and those who just 'want to have fun' fulfilling their own desires rather than waiting to fulfill God's will. Until then, I choose God as my 'companion' and if I wait for God to open the door, He will bring me someone who has the same desires and beliefs that I do. I'm worth that much and the person waiting for me is worth me holding myself to a higher standard as well.
To God be the glory!

Amen to That, Musicmaker1969!

Welcome to Mingle2 Christian Singles Forum!

If u r havng sex b4 mrge then there is no meang in it it is calld illegl and marge makes it legl and yeah i do agree what u say but the thing is havng sex b4 mrge makes the partnr ignore each other caz they are done with it which is very much wrong in the sight of God.....

I agree with what you are saying!

God bless you and welcome to Mingle2, vicky_Vick!

{Sex before marriage is included in the biblical definition of sexual immorality.
There are numerous Scriptures that declare sex before marriage to be a sin }

I agree, however, often times you will come in contact with Christian men/women who seem to not have read this or do not follow this instruction. Many are on Christian sites seeking a partner.

Sex I think was actually meant for procreation but I guess God made it beautiful so that we dont get bored with marriage just few hours into it. However, doing that outside marriage falls below Gods standard and that God hates.

I think that this quote is wonderful and i agree with it and wish it was so, but sadly its not seen that way. People in this day and age just expect it as part of a relationship. Due to my experiences I believe we as christians cant be in a relationship with someone who does not share faith because they cant accept our morals. I do hope to be proven wrong one day though.

I would like to throw in the question about MULTIPLE wives. The Bible speaks of them, so should this be allowed?

oldsage, welcome back to the Christian Forum

Question: "Why did God allow polygamy / bigamy in the Bible?"

Answer: The question of polygamy is an interesting one in that most people today view polygamy as immoral while the Bible nowhere explicitly condemns it.

The first instance of polygamy/bigamy in the Bible was that of Lamech in Genesis 4:19: “Lamech married two women.”

Several prominent men in the Old Testament were polygamists. Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others all had multiple wives. In 2 Samuel 12:8, God, speaking through the prophet Nathan, said that if David’s wives and concubines were not enough, He would have given David even more. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (essentially wives of a lower status), according to 1 Kings 11:3. What are we to do with these instances of polygamy in the Old Testament? There are three questions that need to be answered:
1) Why did God allow polygamy in the Old Testament?
2) How does God view polygamy today?
3) Why did it change?

1)... Why did God allow polygamy in the Old Testament?
The Bible does not specifically say why God allowed polygamy. As we speculate about God’s silence, there are a few key factors to consider. First, while there are slightly more male babies than female babies, due to women having longer lifespans, there have always been more women in the world than men. Current statistics show that approximately 50.5 percent of the world population are women. Assuming the same percentages in ancient times, and multiplied by millions of people, there would be tens of thousands more women than men. Second, warfare in ancient times was especially brutal, with an incredibly high rate of fatality. This would have resulted in an even greater percentage of women to men. Third, due to patriarchal societies, it was nearly impossible for an unmarried woman to provide for herself. Women were often uneducated and untrained. Women relied on their fathers, brothers, and husbands for provision and protection. Unmarried women were often subjected to prostitution and slavery. The significant difference between the number of women and men would have left many, many women in an undesirable situation.

So, it seems that God may have allowed polygamy to protect and provide for the women who could not find a husband otherwise. A man would take multiple wives and serve as the provider and protector of all of them. While definitely not ideal, living in a polygamist household was far better than the alternatives: prostitution, slavery, or starvation. In addition to the protection/provision factor, polygamy enabled a much faster expansion of humanity, fulfilling God’s command to “be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth” (Genesis 9:7). Men are capable of impregnating multiple women in the same time period, causing humanity to grow much faster than if each man was only producing one child each year.

2)... How does God view polygamy today?
Even while allowing polygamy, the Bible presents monogamy as the plan which conforms most closely to God’s ideal for marriage. The Bible says that God’s original intention was for one man to be married to only one woman: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife [not wives], and they will become one flesh [not fleshes]” (Genesis 2:24). While Genesis 2:24 is describing what marriage is, rather than how many people are involved, the consistent use of the singular should be noted.

In Deuteronomy 17:14-20,
God says that the kings were not supposed to multiply wives (or horses or gold). While this cannot be interpreted as a command that the kings must be monogamous, it can be understood as declaring that having multiple wives causes problems. This can be clearly seen in the life of Solomon (1 Kings 11:3-4).

In the New Testament, 1 Timothy 3:2, 12 and Titus 1:6 give “the husband of one wife” in a list of qualifications for spiritual leadership. There is some debate as to what specifically this qualification means. The phrase could literally be translated “a one-woman man.” Whether or not this phrase is referring exclusively to polygamy, in no sense can a polygamist be considered a “one-woman man.” While these qualifications are specifically for positions of spiritual leadership, they should apply equally to all Christians. Should not all Christians be “above reproach...temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money” (1 Timothy 3:2-4)? If we are called to be holy (1 Peter 1:16), and if these standards are holy for elders and deacons, then they are holy for all.

Ephesians 5:22-33 speaks of the relationship between husbands and wives. When referring to a husband (singular), it always also refers to a wife (singular). “For the husband is the head of the wife [singular] … He who loves his wife [singular] loves himself. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife [singular], and the two will become one flesh....Each one of you also must love his wife [singular] as he loves himself, and the wife [singular] must respect her husband [singular].” While a somewhat parallel passage, Colossians 3:18-19, refers to husbands and wives in the plural, it is clear that Paul is addressing all the husbands and wives among the Colossian believers, not stating that a husband might have multiple wives. In contrast, Ephesians 5:22-33 is specifically describing the marital relationship. If polygamy were allowable, the entire illustration of Christ’s relationship with His body (the church) and the husband-wife relationship falls apart.

3)... Why did it change?
It is not so much God’s disallowing something He previously allowed as it is God’s restoring marriage to His original plan.

Even going back to Adam and Eve, polygamy was not God’s original intent. God seems to have allowed polygamy to solve a problem, but it is not the ideal. In most modern societies, there is absolutely no need for polygamy. In most cultures today, women are able to provide for and protect themselves—removing the only “positive” aspect of polygamy. Further, most modern nations outlaw polygamy.

According to Romans 13:1-7, we are to obey the laws the government establishes. The only instance in which disobeying the law is permitted by Scripture is if the law contradicts God’s commands (Acts 5:29). Since God only allows for polygamy, and does not command it, a law prohibiting polygamy should be upheld.

Are there some instances in which the allowance for polygamy would still apply today? Perhaps, but it is unfathomable that there would be no other possible solution. Due to the “one flesh” aspect of marriage, the need for oneness and harmony in marriage, and the lack of any real need for polygamy, it is our firm belief that polygamy does not honor God and is not His design for marriage.


http://www.gotquestions.org/polygamy.html

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I believe it's very clear
that The Lord wants us to have one marriage partner and there are many scriptures to back that up.


Mat_19:5, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Mat_19:29, And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren,
or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake,
shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

1Co_5:1, It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you,
and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.

Eph_5:31, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother,
and shall be joined unto his wife,
and they two shall be one flesh.

Eph_5:33, Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

1Ti_3:2, A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife,
vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1Ti_3:12, Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

1Ti_5:9, Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old,
having been the wife of one man,

Tit_1:6, If any be blameless, the husband of one wife,
having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

Rev_21:9, And there came unto me one of the seven an
gels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues,
and talked with me, saying,
Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb's wife.

True.

There are many people having children that are not Parents. That is why there are so many Adoptions, foster care children, and women having abortions. Sex has nothing to do with JUST having children it is a Pleasure that is often done without thought to whether or not they will produce a child. It takes a male and female to produce a child God set it up that way. And both Parents should raise the child unless one parent dies. You see many single people raising children because they had sex but didnt get married. It is all about Choices and many of Us make poor choices and that is why it is so much happening in this world, that shouldn't be happening.

Totally agree with you,girl!

good point seh


I have been reading more of the bible lately too, and I notice quite often references to men 'knowing' a woman and THEN her becoming their wife

I see little reference to them 'marrying' her and then 'knowing' her,,

its an interesting observation, the question of what actually constituted being 'married' in the bible,,,if it required the ceremony, the papers, or just the commitment made before God?

GREAT POST !!!

There is some people who get married just to have sex and when they get bored with that person they get a divorce! And that sometimes be around 2 weeks or 2 months and they are right out the door!
You can preach about this all night long and men out there will say I gotta take a test drive b4 I want to buy but excuse me when did females become a car?
People need to live like this but sadly they won't!