To care or not to care? When is it important to care verses to accept things as they are? Does it depend on the situation? What warrants you to care or what forces you to move on from things/people in your life? With relationships, are you the "if he/she doesn't give me what I want/need, you're out" type? OR do you care about their feelings and give them the benefit of the doubt? Try to work things out. So many people on this site promote "work" as the main factor in a relationship. Just how much work is involved? To me, if something feels like I have to "work" at it I don't see it lasting.

I personally would prefer a mix of both. I can't completely shut out my feelings for the people I care about. Then again, I protect myself a lot more nowadays with people, certain users lately. It really does depend on who we're dealing with here. I would absolutely abhor to accept things at face value all the time. What say you all?

Everything balances on these three forces, what we want, what we don't and what we must do.

This tri-balanced principle applies to relationships as well. It only works while it teeters between the three. when one thing tips the scales too far in one direction the 'machine' fails.

taking things at face value and/or caring are not the same thing. one can care all they want to and still see things for what they are.

If "face" value were very important, then I'd find myself in constant trouble. You would, too, if you had a face like mine.

Interesting analogy. And it makes sense too. When its in between, mostly everything is alined. I'm gonna share this with my sister.

I think you can take things at face value, yet still care.

Does this mean that there is hope for me?

Anyway, can someone define what it means to care for someone?

I care when others don't, just the way I'm wired. I prefer to go deeper than face value.

Hope for you for what?

If you actually care....then "face value" is crap.

When I don't care...it is obvious.

When I don't care, "face value" means nothing.

When I do care..it is obvious.

When I do care....it means everything.

"Face value" is for those who gotta rationalize how they behave....and kid themselves that there is a difference between right and wrong.

"Face value" is for those who are trying to bullschitt thier way through a game of poker or try to do someone dirty.

Take my word for it....I have never been caught for anything dirty that I have done....that is because I know how to put on the "face". Cause I fully realize how easy it is to use "face value".

I am glad I don't use it anymore.

You didn't notice my face?

Anyway, when you say that you care for someone, what do you mean by that?

If it's too complex.....
No thanks. I have enough to juggle in life. Every person and situation is very different from each other.

I don't think anything "warrants" we care about people, animals, things...I think the capacity to care is in every normal human being and what triggers it in each of us is entirely individual...In my world, when it comes to caring, face value has nothing, nadda, to do with it...I think caring is a component of loving and we do not control or weigh who, what, or how much we care about people or things, we just care.....I suppose you can care too much or for the wrong reasons...If, in doing this, it begins to have a negative effect on you or the people in your life it would be prudent to stop caring or care less....It's a complex question, one I never really thought about until you posed it Mariah....Good job!

There is a time for everything under the sun, there are times to take things at face value, and times to push a little further

but neither time requires an absence of 'caring'

my favorite maya angelou quote 'if someone shows you who they are , believe them'


so I CARE enough about people not to expect or hope they will change for me

I take them for who they are and either deal with it up close, from a distance, or move on

For me careing about someone is often more about how much they need to be cared for than wheather they care for me or not. Perhaps that is my fatal flaw; that I don't see myself as needing cared for but maybe it is because relationhips have rarely been about anyone careing about me. If you are conditioned long enough to be a servant you expect to be little else. Most people find comfort in what is familiar.

It's never fun to work alone, so with a relationship if you are both working together to make it work it will work.
But if either is working alone it can be a long hard journey.

Face value is worth nothing, if you don't really care, smile and move on.

I think mostly caring. If you want something you most often have to work for it, otherwise it can and often does disappear no matter how much you may want it. Sure, you can take things at face value but that does not tell you anything about what lies behind it, what digging behind the rubbish in some instances will reveal.

I am all for exploring something and seeing what does and does not work, but many times it just is not there, in which case c'est la vie.

I can never take anything at face value, unless it literally rolls over me like a screaming truck.

Detachment is the key to happiness.

I don't think one has anything to do with the other. I've seen alot of my brothers do stupid chit but I still care about them. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the question.......

agreed