No I don't think that parents have an automatic right to invade their child's privacy.

I am guilty of reading my son's text messages without his knowledge but I felt really bad about doing it that I won't ever do it again.

I know my son and up to a point, I trust him..we have always had an open and honest relationship to know not to expect any surprises. Naive maybe but it's how I am.

I like how you are, having a healthy trusting relationship with your son is wonderful. And I'm sure he is less likely to hide things from you :)

Thanks. It's been bloody hard sometimes but me and his dad have got him to 18 without any major incidents so I can kinda pat myself on the back .

Also having had a parent that invaded my privacy (and still would if I lived at home regardless of my age) probably has a lot to do with the type of parent (I like to think) I am.

nope, its not about trusting them, its about being aware of their OVERTRUSTING others,,,

I think that is what is wrong with these kids today...the parents give them to much freedom. Everyone thinks their child is perfect. I do think I have the right to look at my kids things esp if they live in my home. You can not be stupid and think your child won't do things because they are human...we all make mistakes.

amen,,,children are meant to be GUIDED by adults, not just observed,,,,

Is guidance such as moral values and the responsibility which includes the potential dangers of having a mobile phone already instilled in the child prior to them owning one? Just a thought

My oldest son is 24 and he is gone, he has his own mobile phone but my youngest son is 17 and he does not have his own phone. I have seen kids 9 and 10 have their own phones and I just think "REALLY?"

Which begs yet another question. Realising there will be varying answers but..."at what age is it acceptable for a child/teen to have a phone"?

One would like to think that most 15yr olds are able to grasp the concept of "predators" more so than a child 5 years their junior?

It's relative K...Varies from home to home, child to child, parent (parenting) to parent.....circumstances ...

no, thats why they call them 'children' and not 'adults'

they really dont know it all, and usually feel invincible no matter how often you INSTILL the dangers into them,,,

in our home, they can have one when THEY Can pay the monthly bill without OUR money,,,I only have two though

my eldest got his in high school when he got a job
my youngest, I suspect, will follow suit when she gets in her teen years

My daughter is 16. She and I have a very good relationship. But it doesn't mean she isn't going to try to get away with one thing or another.

Because kids today have access to SO much more out there in the world via internet and cell phones, it also gives them more ideas (whether good or bad) and more peer pressure to cave.

I think if the child gives you a reason to doubt them then privacy is not an issue. I also think you should be up front with your child in telling them you HAVE that right and you WILL follow through with it. This way if you feel you need to go through their phone, they aren't completely disgusted with you.

Believe it or not, kids are people too and if you just explain to them why you do what you do, they can be a lot more understanding than you give them credit for.

very true

we were always given choices and the concept of choice and consequence was a central theme of our childhood as has been my own kids


do the wise things and no problems

do the wrong things and there will follow an appropriate( and well discussed beforehand) consequence

It's true. Also depends on the children.

My older son has never given me any reason not to trust him. Whereas my youngest (only 6), has a totally different personality and I know that when he outgrows SpongeBob/CBeebies etc and gets to the age of internet/mobile phone use, I'll be all over him like a rash.

Children do not have a right to privacy until they move out of their parents home. Text messages come to a phone their parents pay for. Emails come to a pc and internet service provided by their parents. Everything in their room, the clothes on their backs, the toys they play with, the bicycles they ride,etc.....when they are old enough to vote and support themselves then they have rights.

The only issue I have is when parents use their authority to instill their own version of morality onto a kid in what choices they can and cannot make, instead of just teaching them to be responsible in general with their decision making without bringing your own personal beliefs into the picture. I don't even speak to my dad's family in part related to their judgment of me and my decisions and beliefs as I grew older, it completely pushed me away from them. And that's without them even knowing what I believe today, which I think would make things even worse.

That's where I draw the line, it's one thing to prepare your child for the world, it's another to mold them into what YOU want them to be, rather than let them be what they want to. There is a major difference.

when it comes to 'morals',, I think it is a parents perogative to decide which to model for their children

its really not something just 'learn' on their own or decide on their own,,,,

its really not something ANYONE can decide for theirself without my approval in MY HOME,, or when I am legally responsible for the outcome of those choices

once they are outside my home or my responsibility,, their choices are completely their own as are the consequences,,,

when it comes to unnecessary activities children dont like,, like dance or karate instruction,,,I think children should be exposed to aa many of those instructional experiences as possible but never FORCED to pursue those which arent in their heart...

parents are there to TEACH, as I said, it would be nice if they could just pop kids out, and assume they could take care of themselves and make smart and safe decisions,, just showing up for their needs

but thats not the nature of a human child, ,they do and should have a parent to help teach them,, even when it comes to right and wrong,,,

That's all well and good, but when you start expecting your child to uphold to certain standards, based on what you THINK what you BELIEVE God expects of them....I have a problem. Guiding is one thing, pushing your own moral dogma is another. You can model without shoving something down their throat. In fact, frankly if you want to model good morality, teach them right and wrong the universal way ie: Not harm another, NOT don't do this this or this because a book commands it. 9 times out of 10 the child is gonna eventually rebel anyway from that......I did.

there is no 'universal' right and wrong

it all comes from SOMEWHERE....

I was never taught something 'because a book commands it',, but I was taught things that were right and wrong and also were in a book,,, several books probably,,,

I think there needs to be a better reason than 'because a book commands it',,,there always was for us

usually it was more because my parents said so, and we trusted in our parents love and experience,,,,,and they shared that experience with us when trying to make sense of why the rules were as they were,,,,