I recited that joke at aged 12 to a room full of adults....then promptly started searching the premises for their lost sense of humour

look in a mirror.......................jk.....but I couldn't help myself.....it works for me

<---*Starts taking off her clothes*

ILL MAKE YOU LAUGH!!

Now Boonedoggy...THAT made me laugh.
I would have thought you would be like

WRONG B*tch
The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length
looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed
middle-aged French woman, but when he got there he saw it was taken by the
woman's poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"
The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so
rude.. My little Fifi is using that seat.."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was
under that dog. "Please, Ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog,
tossed it out the train window and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his
place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem to
have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong
hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you
seem to have thrown the wrong B*tch out the window."

^^^^
Brilliant!

Nah,

he knows I have a missing part.

It just hit me!! My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year,
if any medical needs arise.. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs,
but he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who earn a living.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head..



..."MY DAM DOG IS A DEMOCRAT"!!!!!

NO, YOUR DOG IS A REPUBLICAN!

I was going to change it to "Polititian" I think that fits best, but it was too late.

You can edit your posts sweety. Just go back to the post and click edit, change what you want to change, and then repost it.

fixed it for you both

manO says: now that is some funny chit

Thanks ese, Rok, once I clicked out it won't let me edit. I tried.

well sunshine you are quite welcome. btw you can edit a post for about an hour after you originally post. on the lower right corner of your post you will have an "edit" option for a limited time. after it times out you will only have a "quote" or "reply" option

mary had a little lamb,
she also had a bear,
I always saw her little lamb,
but never saw her bear.

A NOTE FROM THE DOG

Toilet bowl cleaner, lol. This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up.
And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in
the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you
carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the
toilet and close the lid.


(You may need to stand on the lid.)

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.

(Never mind the noises that come from the toilet,
the cat is actually enjoying this.)

5. Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.
Be sure that there are no people between the
bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can,
and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak
through the bathroom,
And run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be
sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog


Gothcha' on the edit procedure, thanks.

Fatherly Advice

"Dad, when can I have a car?"

"When you shave and get a haircut."

"Well, Dad, I've been reading the Bible a lot lately, and I understand that Jesus didn't cut his hair or shave his beard."

"Yes, and he also walked everywhere he went."

Hope your Sunday is a fun day!

hmm let me see.. A vampire walks into a bar and asks for a mug of hot water the bartender gives him a funny look and says "i thought vampires only drink blood?" the vampire smiles, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a used tampon and says "im making tea"



vampires dont drink blood any more they scared of HIV and AIDS