I was manic from late 2009 until now. Most of you except the few I talk to privately do not know me regulated as a normal person. It is very heartbreaking for me. Not that I lied but much of the time I was not completely making sense. Everybody let me slide by because I am considered a high functioning bipolar.

I am not creative when I am stable in the sense of writing a lot.

Also, I am very conservative as to whom I associate with. I only really talk to people from forum and then I only really want to meet those who others have met first.

It is very hard for me that I have to admit most of my friends only know the manic side. The fast talking, hand waving, opinionated compulsive poster side.

I feel like no one will like the toned down Terri. The normal boring every day Terri.

My meds make me tired. My ex in Texas took my meds away because they made me sleep too much. That resulting in all hell breaking loose.

I just feel like what do I have to contribute as an ordinary person. My IQ when properly medicated goes down a lot. I think and act much slower.

I feel like no one likes the stable me.

That's the depression talking. @>-->----

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message.

I look forward to getting to know the new (or rather real and stable) you. I truly hope that you get the proper help you need and if you need meds, get the proper ones and dosage so that you can be you.

You'll never escape it, but you can overcome it.

I have severe depression myself, my younger sisters have depression, and my dad is bipolar/schizophrenic. My mothers side isn't much better, all five of my uncles on her side are/were addicts.

I can understand what you're going through and how it's effecting those who love you.

Stay strong.

If prozac is one of your medications, demand something different. Prozac has sodium fluoride as one of the active ingredients. Many medications should never have been brought to market, and having an ingredient connected to the number 1 cause of death, coronary artery disease, also known for lowering IQ, is really not a good idea. Also, and if you are inclined to lower any medication levels on your own, mess with anti-psychotics last. Anti-depressants are known to cause manic episodes if left unchecked with an anti-psychotic. I'm saying this knowing full well you have a strong urge to play with dosages to get back to the real you.


For most of my life, I've successfully made the choice not to medicate my illness. I've had to learn other coping skills, and I don't recommend my way to anyone who hasn't made an informed choice. I've lived life medicated and unmedicated, and my preference is all natural, including growing my own food, where possible, and drinking only Fluoride free water. With any relationship, there are 6 people. Once you get to know who you really are, with and without medications, it will be up to you to approve of yourself, and no one else. This is not a psychiatric issue, but rather psychological.