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| Topic: Cliques, cults, or both? | |
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Is there a chance you could post the meanings of the positions in the clique? This is my first time in a forum and what I have noticed is the longtermers dont mingle much with the newer ones. Did the book have its theories on that? 
Wow, you know what, I thought you fit in so well that you were here for a while. Glad to have you as part of the gang. Well it's not really a gang like Ghostie was talking about, but I think at least one of us collectively has a tattoo. |
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Is there a chance you could post the meanings of the positions in the clique? This is my first time in a forum and what I have noticed is the longtermers dont mingle much with the newer ones. Did the book have its theories on that?
Hi Ladywind  ....The book was not geared around internet cliques, just cliques in general, how they are formed, why they are formed, and the psychology or behaviors of clique leaders and members...
The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative... The sidekick is the queenbee's counterpart...This person provides everything the queenbee lacks, acts as a buffer when things get heated, and generally makes the queenbee look good.... The banker keeps track of everyone in the clique...always knows what the others are doing... The floater pits people against each other while pretending to be their friend in an effort to leech information about whoever is being targeted...Plays both sides and will do whatever it takes to stay in the clique... The torn bystander acts as an audience for the clique and shows approval by not standing up for or defending the targeted person... The pleaser/wannabe/messenger copies, immitates, idolizes the queenbee and wants desperately to be what they are not... The target is any one person or group that threatens the position of the clique.... |
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Due to a recent experience, I began researching cliques in an effort to better understand the dynamics of how and why they operate...In the past, I associated cliques with "young" people, specifically teenage girls....Big mistake!...Teens have graduated!...Much to their delight, these adult women (and men) have discovered the internet is a perfect place to exercise their control issues....Victims are often people they resent, envy, feel have stepped on thier toes, or just plain don't like for whatever reason... Unfortunately they use the "strength in numbers" game to hurt and alienate others in an effort to elevate low self esteem and disguise insecurities....Much like cults, cliques use intimidation, innuendo, and reverse psychology to sway consensus by casting themselves as the " virtuous" ones and their victims as the "bad" guys....The bigger the power trip, the more dangerous and damaging the game becomes...The most relevant connection between cliques and cults is that both are based on the same dynamic....One "central" person surrounds him or herself with synchophants who feed their ego... I found two really good books on this subject...Both were written by Roselind Wiseman....The first, titled "Queenbees and Wannabees", is geared toward the younger set and was the basis for the movie "Mean Girls" ...Wiseman's second book, titled "Queenbees and Kingpins", speakes about the adult world of cliques..She formalized the structure of the clique as follows: Queen Bee Sidekick Banker Floater Torn Bystander Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger Target. The book goes into a detailed accounting of how the clique forms and how people play each role..... Wiseman also gives good advice on how to "deal" if you are being targeted by a clique....Great read!! You astound me my friend. You absolutely get my "impressive award of the year". Honest to goodness, you don't know this about me till now, but socially I'm actually quite shy with people unless it's business, but I would love to hang out with you and yours just to be around your Vibe, knowledge and wit. I (we) feel the same about you Michael   ...Are they still running Friday night wedding specials out there??
Why, are the 3 of us getting married? he's so cute and cuddly What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right Michael? 
Always looking for an angle isn't he! Yes, always Michael.... I have to beg for every little crumb he gives 
Past my bedtime  .....Nite, nite all...
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Edited by
Ladywind7
on
Sat 05/12/12 12:24 AM
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 Thank you. My daughter is 13 and any info is interesting.
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Due to a recent experience, I began researching cliques in an effort to better understand the dynamics of how and why they operate...In the past, I associated cliques with "young" people, specifically teenage girls....Big mistake!...Teens have graduated!...Much to their delight, these adult women (and men) have discovered the internet is a perfect place to exercise their control issues....Victims are often people they resent, envy, feel have stepped on thier toes, or just plain don't like for whatever reason... Unfortunately they use the "strength in numbers" game to hurt and alienate others in an effort to elevate low self esteem and disguise insecurities....Much like cults, cliques use intimidation, innuendo, and reverse psychology to sway consensus by casting themselves as the " virtuous" ones and their victims as the "bad" guys....The bigger the power trip, the more dangerous and damaging the game becomes...The most relevant connection between cliques and cults is that both are based on the same dynamic....One "central" person surrounds him or herself with synchophants who feed their ego... I found two really good books on this subject...Both were written by Roselind Wiseman....The first, titled "Queenbees and Wannabees", is geared toward the younger set and was the basis for the movie "Mean Girls" ...Wiseman's second book, titled "Queenbees and Kingpins", speakes about the adult world of cliques..She formalized the structure of the clique as follows: Queen Bee Sidekick Banker Floater Torn Bystander Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger Target. The book goes into a detailed accounting of how the clique forms and how people play each role..... Wiseman also gives good advice on how to "deal" if you are being targeted by a clique....Great read!! You astound me my friend. You absolutely get my "impressive award of the year". Honest to goodness, you don't know this about me till now, but socially I'm actually quite shy with people unless it's business, but I would love to hang out with you and yours just to be around your Vibe, knowledge and wit. I (we) feel the same about you Michael ...Are they still running Friday night wedding specials out there??
Why, are the 3 of us getting married? he's so cute and cuddly What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right Michael?
Always looking for an angle isn't he! Yes, always Michael.... I have to beg for every little crumb he gives
Past my bedtime .....Nite, nite all...
I'll hold the fort! Hey, fort come over here I gotta hold you. |
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Due to a recent experience, I began researching cliques in an effort to better understand the dynamics of how and why they operate...In the past, I associated cliques with "young" people, specifically teenage girls....Big mistake!...Teens have graduated!...Much to their delight, these adult women (and men) have discovered the internet is a perfect place to exercise their control issues....Victims are often people they resent, envy, feel have stepped on thier toes, or just plain don't like for whatever reason... Unfortunately they use the "strength in numbers" game to hurt and alienate others in an effort to elevate low self esteem and disguise insecurities....Much like cults, cliques use intimidation, innuendo, and reverse psychology to sway consensus by casting themselves as the " virtuous" ones and their victims as the "bad" guys....The bigger the power trip, the more dangerous and damaging the game becomes...The most relevant connection between cliques and cults is that both are based on the same dynamic....One "central" person surrounds him or herself with synchophants who feed their ego... I found two really good books on this subject...Both were written by Roselind Wiseman....The first, titled "Queenbees and Wannabees", is geared toward the younger set and was the basis for the movie "Mean Girls" ...Wiseman's second book, titled "Queenbees and Kingpins", speakes about the adult world of cliques..She formalized the structure of the clique as follows: Queen Bee Sidekick Banker Floater Torn Bystander Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger Target. The book goes into a detailed accounting of how the clique forms and how people play each role..... Wiseman also gives good advice on how to "deal" if you are being targeted by a clique....Great read!! You astound me my friend. You absolutely get my "impressive award of the year". Honest to goodness, you don't know this about me till now, but socially I'm actually quite shy with people unless it's business, but I would love to hang out with you and yours just to be around your Vibe, knowledge and wit. I (we) feel the same about you Michael ...Are they still running Friday night wedding specials out there??
Why, are the 3 of us getting married? he's so cute and cuddly What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right Michael?
Always looking for an angle isn't he! Yes, always Michael.... I have to beg for every little crumb he gives
Past my bedtime .....Nite, nite all...
I'll hold the fort! Hey, fort come over here I gotta hold you. 
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Is there a chance you could post the meanings of the positions in the clique? This is my first time in a forum and what I have noticed is the longtermers dont mingle much with the newer ones. Did the book have its theories on that?
 
Biotchy Ladybiotch! 
I biotchy introduce myself, to the biotchy newbies that seem like they're gonna biotchy stay, on biotchy threads,(not just in the B&B Kingdom) all the time!
Did I not biotchy welcome you with open biotchy arms? 
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Is there a chance you could post the meanings of the positions in the clique? This is my first time in a forum and what I have noticed is the longtermers dont mingle much with the newer ones. Did the book have its theories on that?
and here I thought you had done an excellent job of jumpin right in and making yourself known!!!!! Welcome........and enjoy. Most of us are smartazz's.....some are more serious..... Just keep jumpin in and have........ FUN!!!!!! |
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The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative...
That is biotchy entirely incorrect. I am a biotchy queen. I do not lack biotchy empathy,(well maybe in the B&B kingdom, but thats biotchy how we biothcy roll in there). I am not biotchy jealous or envious of biotchy others. I do biotchy love attenion, but what biotchy queen doesnt? And im not biotchy manipulative! They need to biotchy rename that person the "Headbee", and not the biotchy Queenbee. I find it biotchy offensive to biotchy queens! Carry on  carry on!
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The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative...
That is biotchy entirely incorrect. I am a biotchy queen. I do not lack biotchy empathy,(well maybe in the B&B kingdom, but thats biotchy how we biothcy roll in there). I am not biotchy jealous or envious of biotchy others. I do biotchy love attenion, but what biotchy queen doesnt? And im not biotchy manipulative! They need to biotchy rename that person the "Headbee", and not the biotchy Queenbee. I find it biotchy offensive to biotchy queens! Carry on carry on!
Headbee.......Good!!!!!! 
I like that!!!! 
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The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative...
That is biotchy entirely incorrect. I am a biotchy queen. I do not lack biotchy empathy,(well maybe in the B&B kingdom, but thats biotchy how we biothcy roll in there). I am not biotchy jealous or envious of biotchy others. I do biotchy love attenion, but what biotchy queen doesnt? And im not biotchy manipulative! They need to biotchy rename that person the "Headbee", and not the biotchy Queenbee. I find it biotchy offensive to biotchy queens! Carry on carry on!
Kitten!!!!!!!!! ....You know there are exceptions to every rule,,, right?????.... You also know that you are special, correct????? ...None of this .....REPEAT ...NONE OF THIS CHIT APPLIES TO YOU!!!!!.....Carry on biotchy queenbee stinger champ.....OUCH, dayummmmmmmm iiiiiit Roberta, that hurt!!!!.....
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The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative...
That is biotchy entirely incorrect. I am a biotchy queen. I do not lack biotchy empathy,(well maybe in the B&B kingdom, but thats biotchy how we biothcy roll in there). I am not biotchy jealous or envious of biotchy others. I do biotchy love attenion, but what biotchy queen doesnt? And im not biotchy manipulative! They need to biotchy rename that person the "Headbee", and not the biotchy Queenbee. I find it biotchy offensive to biotchy queens! Carry on carry on!
Kitten!!!!!!!!! ....You know there are exceptions to every rule,,, right?????.... You also know that you are special, correct????? ...None of this .....REPEAT ...NONE OF THIS CHIT APPLIES TO YOU!!!!!.....Carry on biotchy queenbee stinger champ.....OUCH, dayummmmmmmm iiiiiit Roberta, that hurt!!!!.....
But the Biotch Queen was the one offended. Shes biotchy like that! |
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The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative...
That is biotchy entirely incorrect. I am a biotchy queen. I do not lack biotchy empathy,(well maybe in the B&B kingdom, but thats biotchy how we biothcy roll in there). I am not biotchy jealous or envious of biotchy others. I do biotchy love attenion, but what biotchy queen doesnt? And im not biotchy manipulative! They need to biotchy rename that person the "Headbee", and not the biotchy Queenbee. I find it biotchy offensive to biotchy queens! Carry on carry on!
Kitten!!!!!!!!! ....You know there are exceptions to every rule,,, right?????.... You also know that you are special, correct????? ...None of this .....REPEAT ...NONE OF THIS CHIT APPLIES TO YOU!!!!!.....Carry on biotchy queenbee stinger champ.....OUCH, dayummmmmmmm iiiiiit Roberta, that hurt!!!!.....
But the Biotch Queen was the one offended. Shes biotchy like that! Which one is she again?.....There are soooooooooooooo many, sometimes I get them confused...
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The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative...
That is biotchy entirely incorrect. I am a biotchy queen. I do not lack biotchy empathy,(well maybe in the B&B kingdom, but thats biotchy how we biothcy roll in there). I am not biotchy jealous or envious of biotchy others. I do biotchy love attenion, but what biotchy queen doesnt? And im not biotchy manipulative! They need to biotchy rename that person the "Headbee", and not the biotchy Queenbee. I find it biotchy offensive to biotchy queens! Carry on carry on!
Kitten!!!!!!!!! ....You know there are exceptions to every rule,,, right?????.... You also know that you are special, correct????? ...None of this .....REPEAT ...NONE OF THIS CHIT APPLIES TO YOU!!!!!.....Carry on biotchy queenbee stinger champ.....OUCH, dayummmmmmmm iiiiiit Roberta, that hurt!!!!.....
But the Biotch Queen was the one offended. Shes biotchy like that! Which one is she again?.....There are soooooooooooooo many, sometimes I get them confused...
Oh, and the "Biotch and Basnastard Kingdom' is a place where all biotches and basnastards unite as one, to biotch, vent, insult, ect, all they please. Its a place to go when your pizzed, and you wanna say something, and say it loud. We understand, we listen, but we're biotches and basnastards, so dont expect alot of warmth in there. We love each other in our own biotchy and basnastardly way!
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The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative...
That is biotchy entirely incorrect. I am a biotchy queen. I do not lack biotchy empathy,(well maybe in the B&B kingdom, but thats biotchy how we biothcy roll in there). I am not biotchy jealous or envious of biotchy others. I do biotchy love attenion, but what biotchy queen doesnt? And im not biotchy manipulative! They need to biotchy rename that person the "Headbee", and not the biotchy Queenbee. I find it biotchy offensive to biotchy queens! Carry on carry on!
Kitten!!!!!!!!! ....You know there are exceptions to every rule,,, right?????.... You also know that you are special, correct????? ...None of this .....REPEAT ...NONE OF THIS CHIT APPLIES TO YOU!!!!!.....Carry on biotchy queenbee stinger champ.....OUCH, dayummmmmmmm iiiiiit Roberta, that hurt!!!!.....
But the Biotch Queen was the one offended. Shes biotchy like that! Which one is she again?.....There are soooooooooooooo many, sometimes I get them confused...
Oh, and the "Biotch and Basnastard Kingdom' is a place where all biotches and basnastards unite as one, to biotch, vent, insult, ect, all they please. Its a place to go when your pizzed, and you wanna say something, and say it loud. We understand, we listen, but we're biotches and basnastards, so dont expect alot of warmth in there. We love each other in our own biotchy and basnastardly way!
That place sounds like a freakin clique to me Luv!!...
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Edited by
luv2roknroll
on
Sat 05/12/12 10:25 AM
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The Queenbee or leader is a narcissistic personality...Lacks empathy, is jealous and envious of others, craves attention, is manipulative...
That is biotchy entirely incorrect. I am a biotchy queen. I do not lack biotchy empathy,(well maybe in the B&B kingdom, but thats biotchy how we biothcy roll in there). I am not biotchy jealous or envious of biotchy others. I do biotchy love attenion, but what biotchy queen doesnt? And im not biotchy manipulative! They need to biotchy rename that person the "Headbee", and not the biotchy Queenbee. I find it biotchy offensive to biotchy queens! Carry on carry on!
Kitten!!!!!!!!! ....You know there are exceptions to every rule,,, right?????.... You also know that you are special, correct????? ...None of this .....REPEAT ...NONE OF THIS CHIT APPLIES TO YOU!!!!!.....Carry on biotchy queenbee stinger champ.....OUCH, dayummmmmmmm iiiiiit Roberta, that hurt!!!!.....
But the Biotch Queen was the one offended. Shes biotchy like that! Which one is she again?.....There are soooooooooooooo many, sometimes I get them confused...
Oh, and the "Biotch and Basnastard Kingdom' is a place where all biotches and basnastards unite as one, to biotch, vent, insult, ect, all they please. Its a place to go when your pizzed, and you wanna say something, and say it loud. We understand, we listen, but we're biotches and basnastards, so dont expect alot of warmth in there. We love each other in our own biotchy and basnastardly way!
That place sounds like a freakin clique to me Luv!!...
Then I got lots of cliques at Mingle! I got a bar, with regular customers, an advice program, with regular callers, and a kingdom with members, and MORE.......
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Is there a chance you could post the meanings of the positions in the clique? This is my first time in a forum and what I have noticed is the longtermers dont mingle much with the newer ones. Did the book have its theories on that?
Sometimes, it takes people time to warm up to new people. This site used to be pretty bad with cliques, but I don't see that much at all anymore. I agree, it takes a while to "know" a person so we know if we can joke around or have to be more serious. So your best weapon is to post a lot and joke around so people learn about you and can reply. |
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Due to a recent experience, I began researching cliques in an effort to better understand the dynamics of how and why they operate...In the past, I associated cliques with "young" people, specifically teenage girls....Big mistake!...Teens have graduated!...Much to their delight, these adult women (and men) have discovered the internet is a perfect place to exercise their control issues....Victims are often people they resent, envy, feel have stepped on thier toes, or just plain don't like for whatever reason... Unfortunately they use the "strength in numbers" game to hurt and alienate others in an effort to elevate low self esteem and disguise insecurities....Much like cults, cliques use intimidation, innuendo, and reverse psychology to sway consensus by casting themselves as the " virtuous" ones and their victims as the "bad" guys....The bigger the power trip, the more dangerous and damaging the game becomes...The most relevant connection between cliques and cults is that both are based on the same dynamic....One "central" person surrounds him or herself with synchophants who feed their ego... I found two really good books on this subject...Both were written by Roselind Wiseman....The first, titled "Queenbees and Wannabees", is geared toward the younger set and was the basis for the movie "Mean Girls" ...Wiseman's second book, titled "Queenbees and Kingpins", speakes about the adult world of cliques..She formalized the structure of the clique as follows: Queen Bee Sidekick Banker Floater Torn Bystander Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger Target. The book goes into a detailed accounting of how the clique forms and how people play each role..... Wiseman also gives good advice on how to "deal" if you are being targeted by a clique....Great read!! |
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Due to a recent experience, I began researching cliques in an effort to better understand the dynamics of how and why they operate...In the past, I associated cliques with "young" people, specifically teenage girls....Big mistake!...Teens have graduated!...Much to their delight, these adult women (and men) have discovered the internet is a perfect place to exercise their control issues....Victims are often people they resent, envy, feel have stepped on thier toes, or just plain don't like for whatever reason... Unfortunately they use the "strength in numbers" game to hurt and alienate others in an effort to elevate low self esteem and disguise insecurities....Much like cults, cliques use intimidation, innuendo, and reverse psychology to sway consensus by casting themselves as the " virtuous" ones and their victims as the "bad" guys....The bigger the power trip, the more dangerous and damaging the game becomes...The most relevant connection between cliques and cults is that both are based on the same dynamic....One "central" person surrounds him or herself with synchophants who feed their ego... I found two really good books on this subject...Both were written by Roselind Wiseman....The first, titled "Queenbees and Wannabees", is geared toward the younger set and was the basis for the movie "Mean Girls" ...Wiseman's second book, titled "Queenbees and Kingpins", speakes about the adult world of cliques..She formalized the structure of the clique as follows: Queen Bee Sidekick Banker Floater Torn Bystander Pleaser/Wannabe/Messenger Target. The book goes into a detailed accounting of how the clique forms and how people play each role..... Wiseman also gives good advice on how to "deal" if you are being targeted by a clique....Great read!! Hey Johnny, good to see you back! ...Hope you are doing well .....I must admit young man, Movies, TV & Books is the last place I would have expected to find you!
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I actually enjoy this site more these days without all the clique drama going on.
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