What do you mean mingle did a lot of friends lists and then the friend lists stopped being as meaningful?

Yeah, many of us have that issue with this site. If you like the forums, stick around and get to know people, because on this site, that's how it works.

Michael and I joined within weeks of each other and I remember that we used post threads about "how many people do you know on here?" To get to know more people so we would challenge each other to 'friend' the person above and exchange emails. It had a fun "family" feel when we got to know each other.

Now it seems that people only chat on the threads.

Huh. That must have stopped before I joined, because I don't remember seeing those threads at all. There was a matchmaking thread that got people chatting. But none where you email the person above.

There have been the occasional thread about who people miss here, who people have met here and for pictures of people who have met here, though.

If I am actually going to get to know someone well, it's going to be away from the forums. For me, the forums are nice to see different ideas from people, but not for actually getting to know individual people well.

Yes, it was before you joined, Michael and I joined in April '07 when the JSH was only a few months old. I notice you joined in July '08, so those threads died out by then. Once you friended and emailed the person you just kept exchanging emails and got to know more about them....just as friends, whether it was with a man or a woman didn't matter, it was to make this place seem more like a tight knit community.

And it was through some of those emails that I got to know some of the people that I have posted pictures with on your thread.

Yeah, most of the people I got to know well enough to meet, I got to know away from the forums. I think the forums are good for seeing who you may get along with based on many different topics. I just don't think I could get to know someone well through the forums alone.

I would welcome you to Mingle . It is a good site where you can make nice friends. I would imagine if you are lucky enough to meet someone in your area hopefully equally nice.

You might want to think about some of your parametors. Since; as mobile as this society is; you might just be cutting yourself out of making a friend that would lead you to the love of your life .

I agree that dateing several nights a week is a little unrealistic for most working people. There seems to be a lot of shoulds in dateing that make the realities of life pretty hard.

But I do think if I met someone who wanted to wait a couple of years to come to a conclusion about how he felt a relationship was going and could not committ to a permenant plan I would consider him kind of neurotic or selfish; neither boding well for a happy relationship potential with a deserving person.

Most people single after 39 have been "burned" at least once if not several times but if you can't make up your mind about someone in less than a year it sounds like you want your cake and to eat it too so maybe want to consider how that would make another person feel?.

I'm gonna hang around. I do like the forums. I like it because I can start a thread here and it not get deleted.

I'm use to POF. The forums there are over moderated to the point that they do not allow you to start a thread. Lets say a topic was started in 2005. You did a thread search and for whatever reason it didn't show up in the search. You start another one.
The moderator will delete it on grounds of redundant. You have to find the old thread and go from there.
A lot of times when you find the old thread it still doesn't do it for you. So, You try to revive the old thread. Most times it does no good. The great majority of people there don't use the forums.

There are a lot of people there from my part of the world. But really, At least to me, The whole site is a mess. I like being somewhere that people actually talk. I mean, Isn't that what it's all about? Talking, Getting to know other people.

In my short time here I have noticed that most people will talk. POF is like "ignore central" At least to me. Sometimes I wonder why people in general join there. If you don't talk. Be it in the forums or by answering a message,How I wonder do people expect to meet anyone? That's why I sometimes say, Seems pointless to join.

People have many reasons for not answering messages. And no one has to answer. If it's happening a lot, perhaps take a look at the emails you're sending. Otherwise, just move onto the next person.

As for the forums, there are many, many people on this site who don't use the forums either.

Uh, what is the complaint again?