Community > General Discussion

Topic: forgiveness
sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Fri 03/09/12 07:35 PM
I guess my mind set is.... Love the ones you love...with everything you got. Cause love is rare. Hate the people who have earned hatred and hate them hard. Cause hate is rare. Love and hate...to think one doesn't exist without the other is juvenile. But which would you rather have more of? People who let me love them....next question. me too krupa but sometimes I think I could love those I truly love if I coulcd come to forgive those who have wronged me - like a glimpse of nirvana I love those who allow me to love them. It is as simple as that. I don't give that courtesy to those schittbirds who think that they are magically entitled to love without earning it. When I am allowed to love...it is true and genuine....fortunately, there are alot of people here who dig on love or at least respect. something here has struck a chord with me - I do believe there is little difference between love and respect - the kind of respect the Masters teach - thank you and thank you totage - I do think, as you say, that forgiveness is an act of love - even if you do not love the person you forgive in a romantic or personal sense - you love yourself by allowing the self to forgive - move on - lose that baggage

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Sat 03/10/12 08:52 AM
Does letting go of a grudge mean you have forgiven someone or are they two separate things?

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 03/10/12 09:50 AM
Does letting go of a grudge mean you have forgiven someone or are they two separate things? IDK - I guess they can be the same - to hold something against someone no longer - you could say you forgiven them - I don't see how it is possible to let go of a grudge without forgiving because you have forgiven does not mean you've forgotten...

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Sat 03/10/12 09:54 AM
IDK either,however I do agree if you still have a grudge you have not forgiven , but when do you know for sure you have forgiven someone?

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 03/10/12 10:36 AM
IDK either,however I do agree if you still have a grudge you have not forgiven , but when do you know for sure you have forgiven someone? Once again I can only speak for myself - in more general terms IDK what others might say Forgiveness - for me anyway- isn't like gramma's homemade noodles - once they're done , they're done I don't think we just decide someone is forgiven and have it instantly happen - permanently - like flipping a switch it's a process where I decide I want to forgive someone - for my own reasons - then I decide it is best - and I tell myself that I need to do that (forgive) but it can still be awhile before I really "feel" it and I backslide - I have forgiven - but on a bad day something might trigger a reminder and I feel angry again even tho I have forgiven that person....it doesn't mean it will instantly be flowers & light but eventually I think one can put the anger behind them for good. it just takes awhile and we shouldn't bee too hard on ourselves while we are "in process" if this makes any sense

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Sat 03/10/12 11:53 AM
Yes it does make sense to me. I think for myself once I stop dwelling on what happened , then if the person involved really wanted my forgiveness I might be able to give it. Might being the operative word here

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 03/10/12 05:18 PM
Yes it does make sense to me. I think for myself once I stop dwelling on what happened , then if the person involved really wanted my forgiveness I might be able to give it. Might being the operative word here true if he came to me sincerely - and I could be sure of the sincerity through his words and more importantly his ACTIONS and behavior - showed he wanted me to forgive him - I'd be more inclined to make that effort of he came to me in sincerity in fact under those circumstances I can't imagine denying it

733john Joined Mon 07/18/11 Posts: 123	Sat 03/17/12 01:01 AM
Whether I can forgive or not depends on the transgression against me or someone I care about, the reason behind it, and the sincerity and extent of corrective action or apology by the transgressor. There will always be some change to the relationship. Trust is an easy thing to damage and a difficult thing to re-earn. There have been and probably will be again situations that I can not forgive, there are people that are no longer a part of my life because of there actions. I do not carry around a hatred for these people they are simply not a part of my life any more. And in some extremely rare situations it has and may again become necessary to apply the simple principle that I must sometimes live by: "I don't get mad, I get even!" good point people need to realize trust isn't something that can just be granted whenever they just hold out there hands and say ..trust me dammit lol...it just isn't that simple and better care of people's trust and not making hurtful mistakes to others in the first place would really make a big difference ...the wrong doer holds just as much responsibility here as the forgiver ..sometimes actually more ...don't break trust and there will not have to be any forgiveness ...idk some people i guess that seems impossible to them i don't know

sexyfish2012 Joined Sun 03/11/12 Posts: 112	Sat 03/17/12 01:34 AM
forgive, forget and move on, not being able to forgive tend to block ur hate from love and the intake of pure hatred is consumed which is the most ugliest thing created

JERMANICUS Joined Sat 01/28/12 Posts: 597	Sat 03/17/12 03:07 AM
How do we learn to forgive? how have you MADE youself REALLY forgive someone when you thought you never could? What did you tell yourself to convince yourself? What did you do after forgiving - ever backslide???? We ALL must learn how to forgive other's WITHIN the WHO,,,we live as being. If we carry hate and anger as one of our trusted flares to ignite...THEN,,we might NEVER find forgiveness in our hearts to say,speak,face, or know,,,and ITS ALWAYS kept in the back of our minds to come into a clearer focus,,at life's will to have happen and remind? My Father beat me and was a constant yelling voice at me,,as a child growing..Yet because HE drank when he did that,,I was able to KNOW,,that altered substances in SOME PEOPLE,,make them CHANGE who they normally live as..SO in those two ideas of reason and witness,,I told myself and God,,I'd never grow to be abusive or a drunk,,and I have lived to not be that,,and IF ever I felt I was even a small tad bit in his reflections,,I found ME,,quickly and never looked back at him. SO knowing the pain he caused me was a very long time of trying to figure out why,,and as a boy I prayed him dead many times,,yet,,growing into my manhood,,and knowing I could hurt him,,he THEN,,was forgiven inside me as to know and see him,,weak,,old,,and without the respect or love from his family to have inside him,,and THAT was in my thoughts,,enough for him to be shown to know as for ALL he had done to my siblings and Mother...I was at peace and at one with my own identity,,all through me facing him,,and telling him,,he was nothing now for me to ever fear...I forgave him,,but shall always know his or ANYONE'S damages they can do through their abuses or their substances to do,,THAT change them.... I have forgiven everyone in my life for ANYTHING they have ever did against me... Because to LIVE WITH HATE,,,,makes HATE LIVE within YOU! Releasing THAT ANGER,,and finding the courage to embrace forgiveness,,is just to become MORE of a real person to all around you and within you... If you don't forgive and let it go the Hate will consume you.