A few of you know me outside of Mingle. Which means there are a few of you who know what goes on in my personal life. I rarely ever talk about things that are personal on this site. Always felt it was better to not do so. And yet, here I am. About to type out this here post to do a bit of "therapy" for myself. Maybe this will help some of you who have been through this situation. I don't know. If you read it, I just hope in someway that it'll help.

In life, we all make choices. Some are great, positive awe inspiring choices that propel us forward in this thing we call life. Some aren't so great. We dwell on these because we feel doomed by them. Or rather, we beat our heads against the wall wondering why we chose it. Thing is, even these bad choices help mold us. Yes, even as an adult, we make dumb choices. Lol. If only life were so easy right?

So, here is where Goof gets personal with all of you. Few months back, I made a choice that I "felt" was best for me. Selfish? Little bit, cause it involved a woman. I chose to break it off with her, and in doing so, I felt I was making the best decision I could. It hurts to do something like that cause you know you are hurting someone else. Even if it is the truth, it freaking hurts. I won't go into why I chose to end it, cept to say that life truly wasn't on our side. Least, that's how I felt (at the time).

You guys need to understand something. This woman helped me more in this short time I was with her than any other woman has. They say you meet people at certain times in your life and they influence you. I believe God put her there for this reason. I mean, call it God, or Divine Intervention, or whatever you want to. Point is, the moment I met her, she did nothing but make me want to do better. Sometimes it takes the right person saying something that you have probably heard said to you many times over to make it stick. Well, she did that.

Ok, so now you will ask...."Ok dumb butt....then why did you decide to end it with her"? Well, I know now I was wrong. I'm not looking for sympathy. I know that hindsight is always 20/20. I made the wrong call. Sure. I have a lot going for me. Great job, finishing my BA. But for the first time in my life, I have regret. I know it is said to never regret. But, in this case, I do.

I wasn't strong enough to stay and fight. I wasn't strong enough to see the bigger picture. And that is where I was wrong. I should have communicated better and not allow others to say that I was silly thinking that in a year or two she would be there. I lost my way cause I allowed it to happen. And for that, I was wrong. And while it is a regret, I have learned that once I have moved on from this....from her....I won't make the same mistake twice.

And that's the thing. The hard part isn't admitting I was wrong. The hard part? Is knowing that I may have lost something wonderful. More than likely, I did. Now, I have two thoughts here. One is that maybe life will grant me a second chance. Could it be with this woman? There is a small chance that it could happen. I just pray that, when I am ready, I will meet someone just gives me that "vibe" (I am sure you guys know what I am talking about). The other thought I have is that I blew it. That I had something more than just special and I fell. I haven't decided which path is gonna be my life. All I do know is that I must move on.

Then again, moving on isn't always so easy. Oh, in my career and school, it's easy. And, to both of those areas, I owe this woman all the grattitude in the world for helping me realize that I had more worth. That I could achieve so much. I just needed an inspiration. And she gave that to me.

My point here is this. We...all of us....phuck's up. Sometimes it is small. Other times? Oh man it is Earth shattering. Life does go on. It has to. Still, I will hold this choice close to my heart cause of what it did to me....and what it did to her. Am I being dramatic? Some will say I am. I just believe I am looking at myself and the wrong decision I made. It's always easy to deflect. To say that, "Well, this person did this to me, so I just got them back". Or, "I was feeling this or that, and blah, blah, blah". Thing is, I know the blame begins and ends with me on this one. And, I accept it.

This is the last post I am gonna make here for quite some time. So, I am gonna end with this. I don't know if time will heal this for me. Honestly, it may heal it some. All I know is that there will come a day when I can move forward. At that point, the choice will be simple. Or, maybe I will be surprised one day and feel the "magic" I felt with her. The latter may never happen though. And, I am beginning to be ok with this. Still, it doesn't change the regret. I was wrong. One day I may get the chance to prove I am worthy of showing how strong I am....and how strong I should have been.

I hope that this maybe helped someone. Sorry it was long whinded. Lol. My self therapy session is over. Haha.

All I know is that if she doesn't give you a second chance after reading that then SHE is the stupid one.

We all make mistakes, Goof. If she doesn't come back into your life, you have my guarantee that another woman who makes you feel that way will come along. Maybe not next month or even next year. But, she will come along. Why? Because any girl would consider herself lucky to have a man like you. And, I can say that confidently because I know you pretty well.

Hey, Goof *hugs you from her heart*

It's true, we all fumble at times, and you know what? Our mistakes and what we learn from them are what makes our souls grow... And we HAVE to regret, because without regret we don't learn a thing... Someone who says "I would do it all again, even with what I know now" is a fool.

The best that we can hope for is to say "with what I knew and thought then, I would do it again"...

..I've always said the guy who said "it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all"...needs his azz kicked..can i get a whoa Bundy...

I just don't see anything Goof, that
says you can't go back.

Kudos to you for opening up and letting it all out. I wish you the best Goof and hope that you get all that you want in life. That would have made me go running back, for sure....hope it works out

Your still one of the best of ones Goof hope it all turns out ok for ya but all ya friends are here for you no matter what happens.

People come and go from our lives.
Each one touches us in some way.
Good, bad, Indifferent....they all teach us something....
That makes us.....Better!!!
Second chances come as well.....
Not always with the same person......
But It is possible!!!
You recognize the influence she had in you're life.
You learned something very valuable.......
that most people miss.....
Giving you the advantage.
Should it be her.....
or someone much like her........
Now you know what you missed.......
and you will be better prepared for it..
WHEN it comes around again!!!!!
I am Impressed Goof..........
Hard to open up to a close friend.....
sooooo much harder here......
Good Luck Bro!!!

In my experience, love doesn't die. It can be rekindled, given time and patience. I wish you both the best of luck.

First and foremost, I hope it works out for you and you get your second chance

Sometimes even wrong decisions can sometimes be subconscious right ones...

It’s funny how we are often our own saboteurs.

right if you don't at least ask you will never know - if it means so much and she really is worth it, ask

she may close the door on you, be hesitant or she may jump into your arms

only 1 way to find out




but I do agree with what some others have said - don't do this to her twice - do not bother unless you are certain - she doesn't deserve to be put through that again

Follow your heart, it has all the answers to your questions.

Hey there Buddy,,yes,,been here done this,,and..
Let me first say this man,,IF,,you have the chance to suck major arse and get her back I WOULD! Because Mine was lost,,and NEVER had that chance to redo or re-TRY to make us better?
AND ANOTHER HER,,NEVER HAS COME AGAIN?
So all that you shared and cared about and ALL THAT HER IN "HER"!
Might also be lost forever IF you don't make THAT a mission to COMPLETE!,,Love and what she did for you INSIDE YOU,,was NOT just a passing-bye,,,THAT,,and HER,,was FATE DUDE!
A time to hold sweetly forever,,not one to let get away,,for MAYBE,,?
The fears inside you that made YOU over-think YOU!
That Lady is Fate man,,and far between MATCHING HER ALL WITHIN ANOTHER?
But,,IF,,she's gone NOW,,with no way of returning what is beneath,,then YOU have no choice but right steps forward and to remember this pain,,with all that giving and sharing you BOTH felt inside,,as your eyes reflected each others passions and hearts..

Sometimes us dudes,,are our worst friends inside to listen to?
Sometime WE have many flaws that WE can't see inside us,,and we fail to make them known,,as we keep on being US.

A good woman can make you feel good,,a GREAT WOMAN CAN MAKE YOU BE MORE OF WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE!

And this one,,,sounds like your life partner,,and your life preserver to always be there for ya?

I HOPE and PRAY,,your heart finds YOU,,,and life shall BECOME as it feels the BEST you can make it be...

AND,,I'm always up for some good old fashion conversations of heart man IF ya need me,,be safe and walk in your light of who you want YOU,,to be..

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.(Nietzsche) It sucks to be strong sometimes.(me)

Goof I see a lot of people on here over the years and you impress me as a genuine nice erson. Weather you reunite with this person or you just move frward as better stronger even more loving people willl be only a guess for me but I wish you luck.

Never under estimate the power of saying your sorry and you would appreciate forgiveness to take what was good and rebuild. One thing about being young and really you still are is you learn and get better in trelationships by having relationships so even though it might feel painful now ther is a good lesson in this probably for both of you. Hugs fella Hang in there.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is

usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have

come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you

with guidance and support, to aid you physically,

emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a

godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason

you need them to be.


Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an

inconvenient time, this person will say or do something

to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, our

desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you

sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.



When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .

Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount

of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.



LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things

you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional

foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the

person, and put what you have learned to use in all

other relationships and areas of your life.

Time DOES heal all wounds, but a scar is left there as a reminder as for what not what to do again.

Just cause you fall off a horse, it doesn't mean you shouldn't climb back on and give it another try (just hold on tighter next time).

Everything happens for a reason, even if you don't realize it right away. Not only does it shape you into who you are, but it strengthens you for the path of what's to be.

It's not over till the curtain closes......(then you still got the encore to make it right).

If it means that much to you, then go and and get her. Write to her, go see her, whatever is possible.

She might tell you to get lost or slap your face, but at least you would know you have to move on.

But then things might just go well for you too. Good luck.

I like this! Who knows what KIND of relationship it could turn out to be....at the very least goof, you will know you took positives steps to build a bridge rather than break one down....good luck indeed!

Thank you for this post blue eyes! I am sorry things turned out the way they did! I did my best and so did you. Dont regret anything!