Before I conclude that my new relationship just doesn't find me attractive, I'd like to know how it is for other older men. This is the first time I have dated a new person over 55. He is 58 and I am 64. I know there's an age difference, but he contacted me first and we've had 4 or 5 dates in the past month. All seem to have gone very well and he e-mails me every few days to keep in touch. BUT . . . not even any kisses yet. Actually, nothing but friend-type hugs when we part. I'm baffled. I'm certainly no movie star, but I would think if he was interested he'd initiate something. Do men over 55 lose their sex drive? If it's not that, then he must not be attracted to me, I don't know what else it could be.

Opinions please?

Most men, if on blood pressure or some other meds, will lose sex drive..good luck..

Sometimes their afraid. Sometimes we have to make the first move .Could be shy also.
Good luck

Men, I want opinions from men. Aren't there any men in this forum?

Why not just ask HIM?? Why not just plant akiss on him & see how he reacts? Why not tell him, you're not his sister & would like to talk about getting closer?

I think most of us in the 50 & above age group, are able to talk openly about life, relationships, expectations & desres. If not, TIME TO GROW UP. The gentleman may have issues, he doesn't know how to express. Help him out, let him know that you are intelligent & understanding; IF YOU ARE. You seem to be a strong willed lady & he might not exactly how to start an open relationship with you.

Invite him over for dinner or a drive & start the conversation.

OPINION of a 60+ old SAGE

Thanks, Oldsage, I know that is the way to know for sure. I may sound strong willed but I am not confrontational, and I especially don't want to put this relationship on the footing of "it must be long-term love or nothing." I'm still new in this town, and having a friend to do things with is actually my highest priority. Although I'd definitely like to get more involved with him, if he just wanted to stay friends I wouldn't drop him. We like to do the same sorts of things, and that's not that easy to find.

You seem to be implying that there's nothing about being older that should automatically shut his juices down, eh? That's really all I want to know at this point.

I am starting to think that he may not be quite over his ex-wife, even though it's been over 2 years and he moved far away from her. I also do think he might be a little shy. I have thought about getting him drunk some night. . .

We are older men.
That does not mean we are dysfunctional. Or suffer from low T.
Some of us are gentlemen who prefer not to paw at
ladies like teenagers with raging hormones.
He may just want to get to know you a little bit better.

I am for you!

I just turned 55 January 29. I always found it easier to talk while driving or being drove. A nice radio station to listen to instead of watching tv or being on a computer or phone always seems to work for me better. It sure is cool being the passenger instead of the driver as it is one less distraction. My lady friend who was a nurse took off for a better job opportunity. It was really working out to be a great friendship. Bummer. I was really enjoying being chauffeured around. I thought she was like this fun person.

Not even kisses, yet? Yeah. I can relate. Her face clears up from the fungal infection. I build up her low self esteem. I try to be there for her as a good friend. Then she doesn't need me any more.

Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted. Maybe she will need her computer fixed, again. She was a great running buddy. Some how I feel like I was dumped.

Yeah. Last time I take lessons from Master Shake. I thought watching Master Shake and Carl would help. I must admit though that it was inspiring.

Just remember " Men are from Mars & women are from Venus"

Good book, might want to read it.

Well thanks guys, but keep in mind that I'm culturallyl challenged so I'm not getting some of your allusions. What is low T? What is Master Shake? I've heard of Men from Mars Women from Venus, but does it have anything to say about the sex drive of older men?

Men are from Mars, womne from Venus, is a book about communication between men & women.

Low T, testosterone

He might think you don't want him to try, so he's taking what he gets. I went out with a 59 yo lady and one hug on the first date and that was it. She just liked spending my money so I quit dating her.

Your man might just be shy. Plant one on him.

Low T is low testosterone which leads to low sex drive.

Master Shake is a virgin and Carl is every woman's nightmare.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-qMredqTiI&feature=related

Whoa, now see that's exactly why I don't miss having a TV. It seems to be all like that these days. Actually, I know there's a lot of worse stuff. But thanks for the info. I ought to make at least some effort to be somewhat normal.

You are plenty cute. Give him a smooch!

It also may be that he is "out of practice". How were he and his ex getting along. How long before that did things "cool off"?

My wife got sick (noticeably) in late 2008. She was withdrawing for months before that. Now she has been dead since 5/10/10. I am just now starting to come around to thinking of relationships.

So, do ask him. Otherwise you will never know. It is something he might never volunteer.