I have not been okay in a long time now. I got very depressed and filed for divorce back on 3/23/10. I was not okay then. It finalized that September. I lived with a boyfriend who was not to my standards at all who became abusive. Had two major surgeries that I am still fighting the repercussions of. One of which was so botched it's being investigated by the state medical board. The other altering my chemistry permanently. I see a doctor tomorrow. I am trying to get everything straightened out. I am going to see about getting an anti-depressant added to my medication. I have good angel (the 170 IQ) on one shoulder and bad angel (the bipolar) on the other battling it out constantly. The bipolar telling me my life has no meaning, etc. The IQ saying that's not true I have accomplished more stuff than some people do in a life time. I need my friends right now. I don't even want a boyfriend. Kev and I broke up but remain friends. Kev and I should have never dated. That was one of those friendships I had drawn a line in the sand never to cross and I crossed it and there was a very good reason for that line and I chose to ignore it. Anyway, I need my Mingle friends as much as I need my real life friends right now. I haven't been posting because I just felt I had nothing to say.

Terri

Depression is psychological never pay mind to it and worse off never medicate because then your psychiatric mind fells you you can't live without which then makes you dependant. Best thing to do is do what you like and do it often. Keep in mind that you can't do what you like if you don't exist and remember that you are always #1never let anything change that. Ever

Teadipper.. just now saw this...and I am praying for

you right now, Precious !!

Be Encouraged.

I Believe in the Power of Prayer !!


Btw, after the ending of any kind of relationship...even if it

was fairly new, will still require healing time,Teadipper.....

so be sure to allow yourself all the time you need to grieve and

heal now.


I am praying and believing you WILL be healed COMPLETELY...and WILL

accomplish all that God has in store for you in this life!!!

Amen.

(((((((((Teadipper)))))))))))

OP hang in there.... Please take the time to heal from your past experiences. I am sending happy thoughts your way. I pray you take the time to see who you are and rea;ize in your heart the wonderful person you are. Fight the negative with positive. Surround yourself with positive things.

Life hands us all bad expereinces. We need to learn and move on. Some roads are more bumpy then others.

Evidently you have never suffered from depression...I have.. It's not all in your head and sometimes you need help getting thru it..I hope you never have it because it can be a real hell...

Terri, take care of yourself, give yourself time to grieve your relationship with Kevin.. Try to keep busy and take one day at a time.

Terri, you need some good medications and that may take some time to find the right ones and combinations. Work on this and finding good medical help first. You can't think clearly enough to get the counseling you need and the work you need to do to make your life enjoyable again until you even out the brain chemicals. This really is key. It's not the cure, but you can't get there until you can think clearly. If you need any help finding a good doctor out here, let me know.

Love you.

Hey Terrie!...You're getting some pretty good advice here...Take it slow...New relationships can wait hon...take care of you first...Don't know the first thing about your doctor, but before he adds another med to your list, ask him to do a thorough physical....The wrong combination can cause more problems or worsen existing ones.....
As to life being worthless...come on, you know better!...Life is precious and priceless and each of us has something very special and unique to contribute, something wonderful to gain...each and every day!!...

Love and hugs....

I have severe depression, and they won't give me the medication that will hide the symptoms well enough for me to pretend that I'm happy.

Get out of the house, and try to get out of your head for a bit. Sometimes something as simple as a walk can help. In time, you'll sort things out and feel better.

I lost my fiancée due to a drunk driver on valentines day, the day after we got engaged. However I don't let negative things effect me because from past experiences I've learned it just makes things much worse than they should. Live life happily God is always with us and I am not greater than he who sacrificed his son for us, so I live daily thankful, I am thankful for the bad to remember I'm still alive, thankful for the good so I can use it to help others without.

Be very careful of anti-phsycotic medications. Doctors hand these things out like they are candy. I saw a girl take 1 Efexxor just one time and it changed her life. She went into a manic state were she was seeing things crawling on the walls. She basically went buck azz crazy. I'm not saying they can't work just be very careful...Peace

Hey I think your a great person with tons to offer! That is meaning enough for anyone!

Keep that in mind and life can only get easier.

Terri, the biggest trap you have to fear is your attitude. It's difficult, and takes a lot of work, when you have a disorder. People without disorders don't understand just how difficult it is. Ultimately, you have to answer only to yourself, AND YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON WHO SHOULD BE BEATING YOU UP. So always listen to the good angel. You will constantly have to fight against the bad angel. The bad angel wants you to beat yourself up. The bad angel wants to say "I told you so." The bad angel wants to justify being bad and giving up, or to put it in Christian terms, he wants you to sell your soul.

To put it even more bluntly, the bad angel isn't who you are. The good angel is. Cling to your sense of identity. It's the only real form of control you have.

And the real you is worth fighting for. The people who truly understand you know this.

Thank you to everyone who was positive and those of you who wrote me privately. I get seasonal affective disorder which means I get particularly depressed in the winter. I should have gone back on my Paxil in December when these symptoms first set in but with the flood, the loss of Bri the day before Thanksgiving, having Kaiser screw up and essentially kill my grandmother, I was in no condition to help myself.

I am better off in Palmdale. Life is more laid back here. The apartment is much smaller than the condo and I can take care of it. The animals are settled in. I am on my third dose of Paxil. Someone mentioned Effexor. I cannot take that, it literally makes my pulse go over 200 per minute.

I am just taking everything minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

I am not seeking new romantic relationships. I have a good friend who is a radio announcer who is very supportive not from Mingle.

The thing with Kev would have should have never happened in the first place.

I do have someone very interested in me but I have told him he needs to WAY EASE OFF THE THROTTLE I am in no condition for a real relationship right now. I have told him no matter how he feels about me FRIENDS FIRST.

I am very fortunate as always to have my male friend friends such as Matt, Aaron, Terry and Stik and their very accurate BS detectors. They protect me and save my behind a lot.

Good to see you back, sounds like you're doing better.

The weather does seem to effect my depression as well, esp. the winters up north, which is why I hate Ohio.

Good to see you doing better, Terri.

I have been staying in the friend zone for quite a while. It is nice to stay in one's comfort zone. I have found when it gets uncomfortable I just get more friends. I hope your day is good. It is a good song by Don Williams and a peaceful philosophy.

bless ur heart!

and yes

tell them pushy boyzies to just BACK OFF A MINUTE!

From the perspective of someone with bipolar disorder, 2 basic conditions. First, throw IQ out the window on this one. It's just a number, and more likely to be a isolating term in relationships. If you're smart, people know it, and if you tell them they'll think you're lording over them with a false sense of superiority.


1) Depression. This condition we fight. If I don't feel like getting out of bed, that means I must. If I don't feel like doing anything, that means I have to decide to do something, and get off my *** and do it. It's not fun, and probably will take hours to get to a normal state, but we have to fight at this point to win. Seasonal Affective Disorder... Don't let it be a cop-out. I find that a few moments in cold weather to be stimulating, actually triggering a bit of hypomania. As an inventor, it's really a cool tool for improving the creative thought process.

2) Mania/hypomania... If it's Euphoric, cool, you're having fun. Get around people, say what's on your mind, and enjoy. They don't have to know you're serious. If it's dysphoric, do something nice for yourself. No ifs ands or buts, dysphoria is a dangerous place to be.


How we handle the 'illness' is what it's all about. Did you find your gift yet? You have one or more gifts, which can be considered on the asset side of the disorder. Something you're uniquely special at. If you don't know what it is, you haven't discovered it yet, but I've yet to meet even 1 person with bipolar disorder that wasn't intelligent or gifted.

I just think you are gonnna be absolutely Fine, Teadipper !!!

Great pic , btw !!!

Stay Encouraged and Be Blessed now !!!