Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: I really don’t know why this happens...Is this normal?
newarkjw Joined Sun 05/25/08 Posts: 17172	Mon 02/13/12 05:18 PM
But what you're doing now is doing both. Neither of you seems serious about meeting. You can't expect him to seem that way if you're not willing to do the same. How can I be "serious" about meeting someone that I've only had a few online conversations with? I only delayed meeting him. I was hoping that we could have used the time inbetween to get to know each other..but that didn't/hasn't happened. You could be right. He may not be serious and leaving me dangling while he's weighing up his options...Who knows... What I'm saying is that you seem to be doing the same thing you're complaining about him doing. You say you gave him your number, but then told him not to call. Perhaps he's waiting for you to tell him to call, rather than guessing if it's the right time to call you? If you've delayed meeting him, he may think you're not really wanting to meet at all. Who knows. Which is pretty much what I, in my very advanced age, was saying, for which I was so strongly rebuked. See Mo I told you we were special. I did make a mistake on my post. I meant 2 french fries.......

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Mon 02/13/12 05:21 PM
If I was either one of you I'd be running like Forrest Gump from both of you. Sounds like neither of you knows what they want. And I’m breathing a BIG sigh of relief that you’re not either of us. Maybe once I reach your advancing years, I might have everything sorted out and able to give really unhelpful and useless advice as well but thankfully I’m not anywhere near you in age and I always try to offer helpful and useful advice if asked. But I guess it's easier to make smart arsed remarks when hiding behind an image of a toy. Say G'night Gracie I think he made a very valid point. You don't seem to really know what you want. But attacking him for his "advanced years" is not right either JMO

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 02/13/12 08:23 PM
But what you're doing now is doing both. Neither of you seems serious about meeting. You can't expect him to seem that way if you're not willing to do the same. How can I be "serious" about meeting someone that I've only had a few online conversations with? I only delayed meeting him. I was hoping that we could have used the time inbetween to get to know each other..but that didn't/hasn't happened. You could be right. He may not be serious and leaving me dangling while he's weighing up his options...Who knows... What I'm saying is that you seem to be doing the same thing you're complaining about him doing. You say you gave him your number, but then told him not to call. Perhaps he's waiting for you to tell him to call, rather than guessing if it's the right time to call you? If you've delayed meeting him, he may think you're not really wanting to meet at all. Who knows. Which is pretty much what I, in my very advanced age, was saying, for which I was so strongly rebuked. I think what you said was correct.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Mon 02/13/12 11:13 PM
But what you're doing now is doing both. Neither of you seems serious about meeting. You can't expect him to seem that way if you're not willing to do the same. How can I be "serious" about meeting someone that I've only had a few online conversations with? I only delayed meeting him. I was hoping that we could have used the time inbetween to get to know each other..but that didn't/hasn't happened. You could be right. He may not be serious and leaving me dangling while he's weighing up his options...Who knows... What I'm saying is that you seem to be doing the same thing you're complaining about him doing. You say you gave him your number, but then told him not to call. Perhaps he's waiting for you to tell him to call, rather than guessing if it's the right time to call you? If you've delayed meeting him, he may think you're not really wanting to meet at all. Who knows. Which is pretty much what I, in my very advanced age, was saying, for which I was so strongly rebuked. No. That isn’t what you said at all...maybe it got lost in translation...maybe you needed to do away with the film reference...maybe I misinterpreted...idk. What I do know is that you made a similar ‘dig’ months ago on my sex texting thread when I was trying to understand why my ex was doing this...your “helpful” and “useful” comment then was along the lines of “I think you enjoy it”. You may not remember what you typed but I do. If that’s your MO, that’s fine...but don’t cry wolf when I retaliate.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Mon 02/13/12 11:15 PM
I don't disagree but his asking for a date (that first time) came at the wrong time and I needed some thinking space as I didn't want to waste his or my time. Ah, I see. He asked you on a date and you shut him down. Not too many guys who will try again. His ego is hurt. Or he's married. I didn't "shut him down" unless you think that asking to wait a couple of weeks to get to know each other is "shutting him down" idk. All I know is that in the past, when I was dating more frequently, I met the guy within a week of speaking to him and as a result, had either nothing in common or a really uncomfortable evening(s). I don't have a problem rambling and filling dead spaceand can normally find something to talk about but even I get bored of the sound of my voice after a while . I just want to get to know someone a bit more before I meet them. I'm sorry. You misunderstood me. I wasn't implying that you had done anything wrong. I just meant that was how he would have seen it. I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry Ruth..yes, I did misunderstand you. Apologies .

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Mon 02/13/12 11:27 PM
If I was either one of you I'd be running like Forrest Gump from both of you. Sounds like neither of you knows what they want. And I’m breathing a BIG sigh of relief that you’re not either of us. Maybe once I reach your advancing years, I might have everything sorted out and able to give really unhelpful and useless advice as well but thankfully I’m not anywhere near you in age and I always try to offer helpful and useful advice if asked. But I guess it's easier to make smart arsed remarks when hiding behind an image of a toy. Say G'night Gracie I think he made a very valid point. You don't seem to really know what you want. But attacking him for his "advanced years" is not right either JMO I only attack when attacked Betty. If you weren't being overly sensitive about my apparent ageism, I dare you to find anything helpful in the first part of Motown's comment. I also think it's fairly obvious that I don't know what I want so again, not a helpful comment. But hey, that's JMO.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Tue 02/14/12 01:26 AM
But what you're doing now is doing both. Neither of you seems serious about meeting. You can't expect him to seem that way if you're not willing to do the same. How can I be "serious" about meeting someone that I've only had a few online conversations with? I only delayed meeting him. I was hoping that we could have used the time inbetween to get to know each other..but that didn't/hasn't happened. You could be right. He may not be serious and leaving me dangling while he's weighing up his options...Who knows... What I'm saying is that you seem to be doing the same thing you're complaining about him doing. You say you gave him your number, but then told him not to call. Perhaps he's waiting for you to tell him to call, rather than guessing if it's the right time to call you? If you've delayed meeting him, he may think you're not really wanting to meet at all. Who knows. Which is pretty much what I, in my very advanced age, was saying, for which I was so strongly rebuked. See Mo I told you we were special. I did make a mistake on my post. I meant 2 french fries....... In the words of George Clinton "Do fries go with that shake"

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Tue 02/14/12 06:24 AM Edited by singmesweet on Tue 02/14/12 06:26 AM
If I was either one of you I'd be running like Forrest Gump from both of you. Sounds like neither of you knows what they want. And I’m breathing a BIG sigh of relief that you’re not either of us. Maybe once I reach your advancing years, I might have everything sorted out and able to give really unhelpful and useless advice as well but thankfully I’m not anywhere near you in age and I always try to offer helpful and useful advice if asked. But I guess it's easier to make smart arsed remarks when hiding behind an image of a toy. Say G'night Gracie I think he made a very valid point. You don't seem to really know what you want. But attacking him for his "advanced years" is not right either JMO I only attack when attacked Betty. If you weren't being overly sensitive about my apparent ageism, I dare you to find anything helpful in the first part of Motown's comment. I also think it's fairly obvious that I don't know what I want so again, not a helpful comment. But hey, that's JMO. He didn't attack you. He said neither of you knew what you wanted. And yes, that would cause some people to run the other way. I know you want to justify your own actions and that's fine. But you can't be surprised when other people do see that neither you or the person you described seems to know what they want and comments on it.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Tue 02/14/12 07:14 AM
I think people worry too much about meeting. If they're local, go meet them as soon as possible to see how you get along in person. If you hit it off well, then continue to get to know them in person. If you don't, at least you know that as soon as possible and can move onto the next person. The same goes for putting off phone calls. If you give out your number, but tell the person not to call, chances are.. they won't call until you specifically tell them to. They're going to be wary of calling you at the wrong time if you had an issue with it to begin with. if the connection is there & you feel it - I agree - that's why I am wondering if the OP really feels a connection to this guy after spending time talking with him - if not no biggie - don't go locally I don't bother to meet either if something turns me off while we're talking - as for the phone - I don't always call immeidately - sometimes I do - guys don't always plant their digits on us at the most convenient time - especially if it's long distance, I will sometimes wait till I really have time to talk for us to phone - then recently a guy gave me his # I called twice N/A no voice mail and then he TEXTED me in return. it was a little disapointing - but I still dig the heck outta him

motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21867	Tue 02/14/12 03:40 PM
If I was either one of you I'd be running like Forrest Gump from both of you. Sounds like neither of you knows what they want. And I’m breathing a BIG sigh of relief that you’re not either of us. Maybe once I reach your advancing years, I might have everything sorted out and able to give really unhelpful and useless advice as well but thankfully I’m not anywhere near you in age and I always try to offer helpful and useful advice if asked. But I guess it's easier to make smart arsed remarks when hiding behind an image of a toy. Say G'night Gracie I think he made a very valid point. You don't seem to really know what you want. But attacking him for his "advanced years" is not right either JMO Thank you Ms. B.

motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21867	Tue 02/14/12 03:42 PM
If I was either one of you I'd be running like Forrest Gump from both of you. Sounds like neither of you knows what they want. And I’m breathing a BIG sigh of relief that you’re not either of us. Maybe once I reach your advancing years, I might have everything sorted out and able to give really unhelpful and useless advice as well but thankfully I’m not anywhere near you in age and I always try to offer helpful and useful advice if asked. But I guess it's easier to make smart arsed remarks when hiding behind an image of a toy. Say G'night Gracie I think he made a very valid point. You don't seem to really know what you want. But attacking him for his "advanced years" is not right either JMO I only attack when attacked Betty. If you weren't being overly sensitive about my apparent ageism, I dare you to find anything helpful in the first part of Motown's comment. I also think it's fairly obvious that I don't know what I want so again, not a helpful comment. But hey, that's JMO. He didn't attack you. He said neither of you knew what you wanted. And yes, that would cause some people to run the other way. I know you want to justify your own actions and that's fine. But you can't be surprised when other people do see that neither you or the person you described seems to know what they want and comments on it. And thank you Sweet. It seems some folks just need to lighten up a bit and not take everything quite so seriously.

motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21867	Tue 02/14/12 03:44 PM
But what you're doing now is doing both. Neither of you seems serious about meeting. You can't expect him to seem that way if you're not willing to do the same. How can I be "serious" about meeting someone that I've only had a few online conversations with? I only delayed meeting him. I was hoping that we could have used the time inbetween to get to know each other..but that didn't/hasn't happened. You could be right. He may not be serious and leaving me dangling while he's weighing up his options...Who knows... What I'm saying is that you seem to be doing the same thing you're complaining about him doing. You say you gave him your number, but then told him not to call. Perhaps he's waiting for you to tell him to call, rather than guessing if it's the right time to call you? If you've delayed meeting him, he may think you're not really wanting to meet at all. Who knows. Which is pretty much what I, in my very advanced age, was saying, for which I was so strongly rebuked. See Mo I told you we were special. I did make a mistake on my post. I meant 2 french fries....... What can I say New. Sometimes it's hard being special.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Tue 02/14/12 04:14 PM
And thank you Sweet. It seems some folks just need to lighten up a bit and not take everything quite so seriously. This can be said about many people/topics here. I completely agree.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Tue 02/14/12 04:21 PM
I've said all I'm going to say on this particular thread...enjoy!

Unknow Joined Thu 04/01/10 Posts: 1482	Thu 02/16/12 09:59 PM
can I have onion rings instead of fries?

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Fri 02/17/12 09:43 AM
If I was either one of you I'd be running like Forrest Gump from both of you. Sounds like neither of you knows what they want. And I’m breathing a BIG sigh of relief that you’re not either of us. Maybe once I reach your advancing years, I might have everything sorted out and able to give really unhelpful and useless advice as well but thankfully I’m not anywhere near you in age and I always try to offer helpful and useful advice if asked. But I guess it's easier to make smart arsed remarks when hiding behind an image of a toy. Say G'night Gracie I think he made a very valid point. You don't seem to really know what you want. But attacking him for his "advanced years" is not right either JMO I only attack when attacked Betty. If you weren't being overly sensitive about my apparent ageism, I dare you to find anything helpful in the first part of Motown's comment. I also think it's fairly obvious that I don't know what I want so again, not a helpful comment. But hey, that's JMO. Now you seem to be accusing me of being overly sensitive about age.Is that because I am even older? Would you have made that same comment to someone in your age bracket? Were you not using his age as a weapon against him to beliitle him?

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Fri 02/17/12 09:59 AM Edited by BettyB on Fri 02/17/12 10:40 AM


42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Fri 02/17/12 11:18 AM
If I was either one of you I'd be running like Forrest Gump from both of you. Sounds like neither of you knows what they want. And I’m breathing a BIG sigh of relief that you’re not either of us. Maybe once I reach your advancing years, I might have everything sorted out and able to give really unhelpful and useless advice as well but thankfully I’m not anywhere near you in age and I always try to offer helpful and useful advice if asked. But I guess it's easier to make smart arsed remarks when hiding behind an image of a toy. Say G'night Gracie I think he made a very valid point. You don't seem to really know what you want. But attacking him for his "advanced years" is not right either JMO I only attack when attacked Betty. If you weren't being overly sensitive about my apparent ageism, I dare you to find anything helpful in the first part of Motown's comment. I also think it's fairly obvious that I don't know what I want so again, not a helpful comment. But hey, that's JMO. Now you seem to be accusing me of being overly sensitive about age.Is that because I am even older? Would you have made that same comment to someone in your age bracket? Were you not using his age as a weapon against him to beliitle him? Actually, I felt he was using his age to be condescending. I find it funny (in a non humorist way), that you’ve both neglected the fundamentals in your responses.... but this thread is in my past, not my present. I’ve moved on, please do the same. Live long and prosper.

Shy_Emo_chick Joined Fri 04/01/11 Posts: 4393	Fri 02/17/12 11:29 AM
Thankgod for the 'Block User' feature then. lol. If he keeps being so off and on about it, i'd just ignore him from then on. He sounds like he's confused (i don't mean bisexual). He may always stay this way. Yes people change, but they have to want to change.

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Fri 02/17/12 11:32 AM
I guess that's cause we are both old and senile. But sorry, I did not see him using his age to be condescending anymore than I was, and I did feel your comments about his age and choice of profile pic was rude and uncalled for. However I do you wish you well and sincerely hope you find what you are looking for.