I think soul mate is one of those catchy terms that sound good but are more hype than reality.

I feel deep love that would be what I would call a soul mate takes time to develope and mature and a lot of commitment which is more rare than one would hope so the idea that you have to just happen upon the person you are to be magically happy with sounds childish to me.

That someone who has been happily married years and years would feel a partner was a soul mate sounds plausable.

But having been widowed, and hopeing to love another mate someday, I have come to think that it is possible to love again is somewhat the same way we develope love for our children as individuals so I tend to discount the idea of only one mate.

We have many soulmates.

i musta ran out then

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I have fallen on my face many times, and I do not recommend it

You can have a few people that enter your life and enrich it. They can help in your growth as you evolve. And you need these people.

However.....I believe only one person out there can truly be the closest thing to perfection that we all want. And that one person can make your life 100% complete. It's up to us to find them. And once we do, it's up to us to not let them go.

I agree and these soulmates don't have to necessarily be a romantic soulmate.

Or a man

Score! Yay! Thanks! *happily looks at the quote box*
I too have ended up faceplanted after taking a leap of faith. I took all those experiences as learning experiences and really laughed at myself, called myself a dork, picked myself up, dusted myself off and continued on my merry way. Still worth it to me.

There does seem to be a piece of my soul missing!!!

Would be nice to fill it!!

As people age we become less and less willing to take chances. We want romance but erect protective walls to prevent falling on our faces. Those who are older say the young are naive and get hurt easily. This is true but they, also, fall in love and experience romance so much easier and more often then those who are older and wiser. Our "older wisdom" develops walls that inhibit being open to love. We want romance but are unwilling to be vulnerable.

rather than being dorks we two, we were/are instead two women who were/are not afraid to love - you can't win if u simply refuse to play the game, deal the cards, pot the stew (however u wanna say it)

I agree this can be the case

I don't know if it is just the idea of getting hurt that stops the older generation from finding love. I think for the men; at least the ones I met its the financial scare. If you marry or now even if you live Common-law; you're partner is entitled to take half your stuff. Even is you suggest a pre-nup; that person will take it personally and probably won't stay with you. I also think there are a lot of users, scammers, and very dangerous people out there. When you are young and naive; you don't think much about the dangers of possibly meeting someone that could be psychotic and of course you don't think about the financial loss if your relationship breaks up or the person turns out to be a scammer. As we get older; we get wiser. I also think as we get older too; we aren't willing to put up with abuse or neglect as we know damn well, we can survive on our own.

I am 37 so I dont know where I fall in the age spectrum for me personally though, I don't worry to much about the financial aspect of things because you start off on the dating thing, getting to know someone. If someone were to ask me about my financials on that date I would worry about them. If I reach the relationship do we/don't we stage that requires an ultimate leap I would think that I would know them ( I hope) enough to know if they were scammers, users or the not so nice kind of people. If I thought this person could be my soulmate then I would definately not be worried about the using aspect because I would be in the mindset..if this is my soulmate, she won't hurt me that way. Maybe that does open me up to being used..but I just can't jump to a negative about a person unless they give me reason to.

I don't know. I believe we have many many many souls in our lives that we reconnect with through reincarnation over and over.

I did not bail on my 20 year relationship until it became pure hell.

But I think it's good to bail if within a month or so or less, you realize that this person is REALLY not for you. I find some people cling to a month old relationship that is strained and toxic for years and that's not good.

It also depends if the other person is as devoted as you are.

I mentally am not in a place where even if I found a soul mate, I would run off. Not that I would never relocate but you have to be in a place mentally where you are ready to accept that kind of commitment. I mean I tried faking that but it doesn't work. Anybody who knows me for real, knows how much I still hurt over Bri.

I guess I am talking more about us folks in our 50s. When a man loses everything to a marriage or common law partner; its quite devasting. I am not talking about someone asking about finances on a date but more after you start living together. Once you start living common law; you have a chance of losing everything. At our age; its way too hard to start over again and its not like we can move to a better paying job as no one will hire us. At the time that person may seem like your soulmate but they may indeed not be. As has been said; there can be more than one soul mate. Myself I have met two of them; one that was a romantic one and now one that is a friend. My friend and I have a deep connection that I have never felt with anyone. I feel as though he can read my mind, anticipate everything I do or say. Its almost scary how he reads me but I know he can never be more than my friend as he loves another. As for scammers; I have heard of a few women that were married for 5 or 6 years only to come home one day from work to see their house and bank account cleared out. It can happen to anyone at any time no matter how much you trust a person.

*over the internet hugs* Sorry that you hurt.

Ouch. I guess I just have a hard time believing that things like that actually happen. I have only had three relationships my whole life. I can understand why the caution would be there though.

Yeah, its pretty sad actually. I know a guy whose wife died and after years of grieving; he met someone to fill the void. Now, the man is happy; however his grown kids are mad at him for meeting someone new and think he should stay single because of the loss of their mom. Now the poor man is forced to sell his house so he can move as far away from his kids as they are making his life hell. So, here is another problem when we meet people as we get older; you have to put up with grown kids that I think personally should mind their own business.