I recently had a SPECT imaging scan done of my brain, which revealed what I and my family had long suspected; a diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder of the Bi-Polar type. It is a permanent and degenerative condition which comes with the features of Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar Disorder. The only way I've discovered thus far to keep the condition under control (not have any hallucinations and maintain a stable mood) is with medication. However, the medication makes me fatigued to the point of sleeping more than 12 hours a day and generally in a constant brain fog thicker than cotton candy.

This is a problem because for the past 6 years, I have been studying and practicing Photography. In a fit of Mania I sold almost all of my camera equipment on eBay for $750 which would normally sell for about $1500 on fair value basis. I've been kicking myself ever since; but now that I have a concrete diagnosis, I'm really hating not only myself, but my situation. I either take the medication and keep myself from moving forward in life (I'd have to pretty much be taken care of as far as I know) or refuse to take the medication and possibly get in a whole heap of trouble over the long haul while enjoying the creativity that I ordinarily would be.

I don't know what to do, and my psychiatrist doesn't know what to do either. Before we got the diagnosis, everyone around me thought that it was just depression, which is far easier to manage. But after we found out what the problem really was, nobody seemed to know where to go or how to take care of anything. I know I sure don't.

If anyone knows anything that might help or any resources I can take advantage of, I would be eternally grateful. I'm at wits end and it's starting to affect the people around me as well as my thoughts.

I'm sorry CanonShooter. This sounds painful. I don't what to suggest, but I wish you the best of luck. Keep fighting!

Would you consider trying a different medication? Maybe some supportive counseling would help you. There is an organization called NAMI that helps people that help those with mental health diagnoses. I don't know very much about that organizaton, but I am sure there is something on the net.

I wish you all the best.

I've talked to some of the people on the NAMI forums but have had little luck in finding alternatives to pharmaceutical medications for this, and no success in anything that I did find. I got back from my psychiatrist about an hour ago, and she reduced my mood stabilizer/anti seizure medication (depakote) after I told her that I broke my nice phone after throwing it on the floor in a fit of rage. I told her that the racing/intrusive thoughts are back, but she did not do anything with the antipsychotics that I'm taking.

I'm looking for a new psychiatrist as we speak (or type, rather). I hate it when people don't listen to me, and I'm not going to continue to see her if what I tell her about my mind just goes in one ear and out the other.

That is a good idea. My best wishes and good luck to you.

Schizoaffective disorder sucks. You should experiment with psychiatrists AND psychologists. Psychologists can't directly prescribe you medication and may be able to help you with the emotional aspects that you may be dealing with that influence your condition or are a result of the medications the other doctors put you on.

NAMI can be helpful but it won't solve anything.

Try to find support groups and people going through the same thing, but don't exclusively surround yourselves by people who are suffering.

I don't know, man. To be honest - the people I've known that have been classified schizoaffective never led very peaceful lives.

In this instance I would advise to do whatever makes you happy whenever it makes you happy. It may destroy you. It may bring you some joy. Either way, misery and happiness are both temporary.

Join NAMI - National Alliance for the Mentally Ill
Subscribe to The Bipolar Network News Newsletter
Subscribe to BP magazine
go to http://harbor-of-refuge.org/

I know quite a few people who have mental illnesses, so i'm used to hearing about stuff like this. Having read all the previous comments in this thread, i couldn't help thinking what a double-edged sword that must be, constant tiredness mixed in with depression. I'm just trying to understand why an upper, has to also make a sufferer fall asleep. Can't these mood stabalisers be made so that you're awake when you need to be, rather than causing severe drowsiness? That's what i'm guessing about. It's not fair on YOU or YOUR LIFE. Don't allow a dr to manipulate you into taking a new med, if you're instinct tells you otherwise. Take it slowly.

That's some good advice right there :)

CS, I'm sorry to hear this. I worry about advice like Emo's because it seems to me it could send you off the rails sometimes. Maybe that wouldn't be true for you, I just don't know. My ex-husband had (has) schizophrenia and has been on meds for years. Strangely enough, my son-in-law has bipolar, and he is also on meds (lithium I believe). I think you're going to have to spend a good deal of time adjusting your meds. You may be aware that besides the dosage, changing the time of dosage can make a difference. I found this web page about nutrition, which hopefully is new information to you: http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-diet-foods-to-avoid.

This is one of those curve balls that life throws at you, and I'm sorry you have to go through it. At least now you know what you're dealing with. I would think NAMI would be a good idea as a support group. Best wishes.

Google the National Empowerment Center, I think their site is www.power2u.com or something. U can email me and I would be happy to point you to other resources.

Damnit Canon.....this is a toughie...But stress mgt (easy to say I know), positive A, good diet and exercise, quality time with people you love and who love you...and above everything else...you must not stop the meds and you must find a doctor who understands that each person is unique and it may take time and trial and error to find the right combination of medications for your chemical makeup...Google and read everything you can get your hands on, join support groups like the ones mentioned by several here, and when you are feeling exhausted, force yourself to take a walk, get some fresh air...Breath baby, breath!! and lean on your friends, love and hope are powerful stabilizers.....Hugs, luck, and love to you!!

Hi Canon,

I spend the majority of my time manic. I have all sorts of paradoxical effects to medication. Some I metabolize too strongly and some do nothing. I have been doing this since 1996.

What has helped me the most is years and years of therapy to learn coping skills.

I have learned to recognize irrational thoughts and combat them. It's like learning a martial art. Which great practice, you will do it on auto pilot when fighting for your life.

I do not actually get suicidal. I get what they call suicidal idealization which mean I think about it and think I want to die but would never ever act on it.

Using my skill set, I am not to tell myself that it's not reality. That I am doing what they call catastrophicizing (sp). Meaning blowing bad things out of proportion. I am able to realize that these thoughts WILL pass, and I rationalize through them down to telling myself of the repercussions my harming myself would have on my loved ones, pets, etc.

I have also learned to recognize and not make what are called "unilateral" decisions like you did with the cameras. Meaning I do not make major decisions that can affect things without consulting someone who I trust to be rational. Before I learned what that was called, I didn't understand why I kept making so many unrelated mistakes that angered people. When I learned the term, I became quickly able to recognize, "Hey in doing this, I impact others. I need to ask someone for a trusted opinion".

Remember medication can only do so much. You have to fight the good fight as well.

Good luck and god bless,

Terri

(((Terri)))

I didn't mean to cause any upset if i did

This is pretty darn good advice.

I am very sorry for what you are going through.

I don't know anything about meds for this kind of thing so I could be way off here. BUT, I do know about meds in general and my experience with them for Lupus which is a chronic condition.

What I have learned:

What works one year might not work the next so you need to pay attention to changing symptoms.

Side effects of meds can cause more problems than the disease itself and you have to talk to your doctor about them. I went a whole year with horrible migraines because I thought it was a symptom of my Lupus. When I finally told my doctor about it he changed my meds and they stopped. It was the medication causing the migraines.

Minor adjustments of meds often helps A LOT. Or switching them up.

Doctors suck and you have to be your own patient advocate. Never give up and never stop fighting for the best care you deserve.

I would definitely seek the help of a real vitamin therapist. (Not just a doctor that has a small amount of knowledge.)

Unknown to a lot of people the cure for cancer is high doses of vitamin C. This information is basically kept from the general public although there have been medical trials and everything to prove it.

I believe the earth has a cure for everything. Drugs treat symptoms, but seldom cure anything.

More people die from drug treatments and bad reactions to drugs than you know. Millions.

Unfortunately is is actually against the law to treat cancer with vitamin C which is insane if not immoral.

Change of diet can also help. Did you know that two hands full of cashews is equal to taking a prosac but without any side effects? Its an anti-depressant.

Fresh garlic.... cures a lot of things.

Vitamin B's are anti-depressants, Niacin too. They will add energy.

Doctors seldom tell anyone the benefits of diet and vitamins.

There is no money in it.

Deep breathing is great!! It is the breath of life.