OK. I am in a relationship, and have been for 10 years. And, the person I'm in a relationship with does not trust me. Here's the issue:

He thinks that me being friends with another man is cheating on him.

I don't agree with that, but I live with it because I love him.

My question is, is this normal behavior? Do all guys think that just because their girlfriend talks to another guy that she is cheating? And, does asking a guy how the weather is where he lives mean that I want to move in with him?

Someone please help me. I'm really confused.

Ya know.
When you are attracted to someone, the thing
that drew you, will draw others.
To think that disappears when you attach,
is ostrich bahaviour.

Jealousy can eat away at the best relationships.
Some people though, are SO insecure that they
can make issues when none really exist.
He had best get over it.
While you give him no reason not to.

Unfortunately, it is "normal behavior" for insecure men.

All you can do is show him how much you care. If that doesn't do the trick, then I would say that your life will always be the same as long as you are with him. This is simply a way of him controlling you and is a big no-no. Good luck

Find some one else it will probly never change he loves him self more then he does you,So find some one who loves you and trust you and wants know one else then you and be done with this guy.

these questions always seem loaded to me. i'm hearing one persons take on a situation that involves two people. to be of any help i'd have to sit down with your bf and blow suds off a few cold ones. hear his take on all this you see. could be from his point of view he has every reason to suspect that there's something more than simple friendship going on.

oh yeah, you're buying the beer.

Well you either have to deal with it or without it. You can not change him. However, try including him when it comes to talking to your male friends. He will soon learn to be comfortable enough to trust.

You are in relationship since 10 years without trust???

sit down with him and ask him why he doesnt trust you, reply to him. if its something that wont ever change than your gonna have it for life or life without him.

talking in a relationship is one of the most important things, thats what split my last relationship up.

I agree with hobbes - ask him why that makes him jealous - we will assume that you are not purposely doing anything to cause him to be jealous, but it might be that u are doing something and not concious of it

maybe he just needs some reassurance that good conversation and a back rub can provide

the people we love need us to help them feel secure that they have us in whatever capacity we do have each other - as friends lovers spouses - whatever the relationship is the loving way is to reinforce the strength - let him know he is secure in your relationship

the kind of games that toy with people;s hearts are unforgivable - let him know that you will never play those games with his

the more he hears that - the less jealous he will be dumpling! and good luck! (don;t forget the back rub)


BTW how is the weather??

Honestly I have male friends but then to answer this honestly it all depends on how much time you are spending with your male friends.

If you are spending lots of one on one time with them when your partner is not around then sorry he has reason not to trust you.

I believe if you are with someone then they should as well be within that friendship.

I mean how would you like it if he spend extra time with his female friends or on the phone with them a lot...it goes both ways.

One should take in consideration on how they would feel if in the same situation..

It is always best to be around your friends of the other sex if your partner is around then they would feel included instead of on the outside.

Soulfie's right....as long as you are not giving him reason (s) not to, he should get over it...You're not giving him reasons are you?

Ya know, everyone told me not to talk about my "adopted brothers". I do not have "male friends" really. They are seriously like "adopted brothers" as in there is a line in the sand that says "NOTHING ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL WILL HAPPEN BETWEEN ME AND THEM". To me, it would be nasty to even think that way. Anyone who wants to be with me MUST LEARN TO DEAL. I never care who my men are friends with as I do not associate with men who would give me reason to wonder. They can have five thousand women as friends and don't care as long as at the end of the day they are MY MAN in MY BED.

I think there's a continuum here where jealousy is justified, and then when it becomes too much insecurity and a little controlling (can't have certain friends because your partner is jealous) - I agree with most of the parameters set in here that describe acting in a way where one can have opposite gender pals and at the same time not behave in a way that gives their partner substantial cause for concern,

Where we are, where each couple is on that continuum is not going to be the same each time. that 's why it's important to talk about it

I would not be happy - for example - with a man who held teadpiper's philosophy

as I do not typically associate with male friends without my partner (when I have one) unless it is something work related, for example


on the other hand, I would not be happy to be restricted from friendships by my partner

Too many things here we don't know about this relationship...

But I can't help but wonder how your relationship has changed over the years. How often do you do stuff together? How much time do you spend alone together? Has your sex life been slowed considerably? How often do you talk and laugh together?

In other words, does he perceive that you give more attention to your male friend? Do you seem happier around your friend than you do around your man? When was the last time you made your man feel special? When was the last time he made YOU feel special?

Unless his distrust has been present from the beginning, this is a sign that something has changed within the relationship. After 10 years, you should be secure together. If you are not, then something must have happened to spark doubt, even if that doubt is unfounded.

Even if you are not the one fully to blame, you may need to accept full responsibility for his doubt, dependent upon the situation. He may just need a some reassurance in a form other than words. Something to make him feel that spark again, and make him realize how silly he is to doubt you.

Find out what has changed - other than this friend - and you will likely find the root of the problem. When you do, it will probably be so obvious that you'll feel stupid for not noticing it earlier. As we get older and life becomes more complex, it becomes easier to overlook such things without realizing it.

is it about him, or is it about why you would stay in the relationship , as Tina Turner would say..What's Love Got-tas do Got-tas do with it ...

but there are a couple of things to consider

some guys may knowingly and/or unknowingly seek out women to abuse or control

and some women may unknowingly or knowingly seek out relationships to be abuse and/or to be controlled

What she said!!!!!