Personally, I think the male should always make the first move. But then again I guess you can say I was raised sorta like in the 50's. But sometimes it is pleasant for a female to show interest and initiative.

I think you got a good perspective and a level head on your shoulders woman.

What stops you from hitting on the guy?......the spark ain't there It is as simple a that.

You cannot force what is not there and apparently, I am guessing that you don't settle for less than an equal. Thereby you don't go catting.

Trust me....you find the right one...you will hit on it.

Thank goodness for smooth talking Soufie.

That makes sense, I guess. That initial spark is important to really catch each others attention. I don't want to settle for someone that doesn't make me happy, ya know? I want something that'll sweep me off my feet. Once I get past that first move, I flirt like nobody's business, so hopefully a dude will be brave enough to take that first step. :)

Try pitying her Mach...I ain't exactly the epitome of normal.

She is a brave woman for sure.
(but, I saw your countdown thread, and you are head over heels babe)

Take my word for it Darlin It doesn't matter what our long term goals may be....or our intelect. That all goes out the window when someone can make your mouth water when they look at you. When you wake up dreaming about smelling their hair and feeling thier heat in your arms. When you are smiling like an idiot with no one else in the room.

There are some things that science cannot explain.....falling madly in love is one of them.

Since I don't think the way you think, I can't tell you why you do things the way you do. But, if it works for you, awesome.

Here you go, OP! There are definitely guys out there who think the way you do.

I hold no expectations really one way or the other on this "?". It seems to me that every situation is different and if a friendly encounter has the ability to become something more or even the "want" by one person or the other it'll happen. I know i will go the extra mile to get a number or such from someone that strikes me as genuine and lovely, though it seems to get harder and harder to find that combo these days. lol ..... idk i'm just a romantic at heart, and rambling by this point.

don't know about the other guys here but my experience has been that when i initiate a message to a lady here it's rare to get a reply and when i do it's along the lines of "good luck in your search." i understand that attractive women here, especially in my age group, have no shortage of male online callers, even younger ones, and it must be tough to answer every reply but it is frustrating nonetheless.

since retiring i've lived and traveled the country in my rv searching for that special place to buy some property and finally settle. i can turn a long distance online relationship into a local dating experience in a matter of days if i got well enough acquainted with the right lady online and over the phone. and of course i wouldn't be out anything but several gallons of expensive gas if it didn't work out. hut hell, my goal was to take my time seeing the country so any excuse to visit a new locale works for me.

personally i prefer her to make the first few moves an let me know she is interested avoids alot of crap if you are a man being a man you get constantly accused of being to flirty if you talk to much to them or pushed away cause either the other guy who they watch all the time that is married an will never be with them is around an they dont want to talk then or they think your nice an want to be just freinds forever lol (run)or they say you are harrasing them an you dont need that on you .its just a win win situation when they approach first for me.

I agree with the personality based. But I was always a wall flower. Getting infatuated too fast didn't help, either.

I guess it matters on how strong your insecurities are if you the woman or man makes the first move or if you wait for the opposite sex makes the first move.

When I first joined JSH eons ago, I wrote to a lot of guys starting the conversation. Set up meets for coffee,( Secure in who I am.) got stood up just as many times. ( self-esteme falling ) So I got ticked off and said phooie, let them write me first. Shoot, did not get even a nudge. ( Self-esteme rock bottom ) Then I realised it is not me. It is the whole convaluted mixed messages men and women are taught from birth, " A real gentleman should do this...(fill in the blank), a real women should do that..., sort of thing." What a bunch of hokum.

I begin to realise that I make the first move when I am comfortable to do so. ( Secure again ) Signs and signals are there, we/I just have to pay more attention to them, and then act on them.

I don;t think it makes u old fashioned it's just your preference

I have also genrally preferred men who make the first move to ask for a phone # or suggest a meet or show that things are going to go beyond just talking - but as motown said - to the right man I will give him plenty of signs that I won;t bite his head off - if I'm interested

well that's just it - the reason u won't make the first move is because your interest was primarily sexual. That is the message you get if a woman makes the first move - that she's more likely to be up for an encounter - and I think this preference - for encounters -is where we do see more gals goin' for it

and please I mean no judegement - it's a freakin' dating site if encounters is why someone is here - fine (nice to be honest on that tho)

my thing is I totally agree with you, and do not want to send the signal that I'm after an encounter - so I don;t make the first move beyond...maybe, starting a convo

I am too impatient to wait for a guy to ask me.

beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if the beholder desires you enough they will move a mountain to get to you.

^this


exactly

Me too.

If I'm interested, I have no problem making the first move. I've found out from sites like this that guys hold back just as much as women do. So why wait around to see if someone is going to ask me out?