okay I am a social dork yet again.........I totally do not know when it is and isn't approperiate to use smileys and LOL and LMAO, etc. I mean I only use them in extreme circumstances and I YET AGAIN upset somebody I really liked by not expressing kidding properly.....Somebody I really was having fun being friends with....I mean I try to be subtle and we will be going along with the banter and then all of a sudden BOOM POW brick wall of seriousness, I pushed a button or pulled a trigger from an ex wife..... GREAT.............NOT. So I lose..... And it's not just people I am interested in relationship wise....it's in general... I never did this internet dating/chatting for fun thing until a week ago so I totally don't get it at all....people told me my ads were too serious...my posts were incorrect...I don't know what to do...HELP!!!!!

Terri

hey there Terri

Don't worry about people getting upset, just be yourself, if they love who you are great, if they get anoyed then let them get over it.

We all say or put something in the wrong place and if someone takes it wrongly then really, beside saying whoops thats not what i meant, then you cant do much else..

And if they get upset oer little things, then they are not the person you really wanted anyway..



Just come in an chat, you will soon get the hang of it.

ditto josie.....Terri...Like josie said just be yourself and enjoy the site

Your doing great Terri!

The cool thing about mingle is the more you post the more people get past what they think you are saying and see the "you" come through. We all have different styles and sometimes that is hard to read till we see the "Vibe" of the person.

let your light shine

Don't beat yourself up about it. So many personalities...you can't please everyone. You are fine. Be yourself, you're very nice.

Thank you guys. You are so sweet.

Your posts aren't incorrect. Just be you. If someone misunderstands something, explain it to them if you can. If they still don't get it, don't worry about it. People take things the wrong way a lot, so don't worry about it too much.

good site for 'expressions'

http://www.pic4ever.com/

I never use LOL or any of that stuff, mainly because it just seems so passe after you've seen it seventy-two billion times.

A long time ago, I just decided I was going to write whatever worked in my own head, let it go, and whatever happens happens. If someone gets offended, well, that's their choice. I'm not responsible for other people's choices.

I don't go out of my way to be abrasive, but it's OK with me if someone wants to take it that way.

Last week a girl on another site PMSed all over herself because I hyperbolically referred to myself as a "world-renowned author" (even though it's technically true if you stretch the meaning of "world-renowned" a little, or a lot) -- she was looking for something to take offense to, found it, and several other members of the site put her in her place. Doesn't matter to me either way. If people don't get the humor in something, it's not my job to explain it.

Hi Terri ..just wanted to add to all the posts... Don't change yourself for others or it will become a chore to be you. I think your a fine person just by your concern over when it's proper and when it isn't. Be yourself and be happy.

First things first....

Relax.


Kick back. Don't try too hard honey. Everyone here has had loves and losses. We are all just people with average lives. No one is gonna be perfect...we all just do our thing. Yet, in here you will find yourself among good people. I can vouch for alot of them.

This is a laid back forum to just be you.

Some folks take things way too seriously.

The rest of us are here to have fun.

I have to laugh that to the left is the Add Smiley option

I am so old school I still go : )

That is from the BBS in 1991 where I met my husband of 16 years

I find that being a writer not the whole world is as liquid in thought as me. I often but heads with the super literal. Also being from CA, this is true.

I use certain words that are derogatory elsewhere.

There is another word that is as used slang for dumb that is also part of what of another term means nonflammable which I then changed further to say that if someone is truly being dumb that they are wearing asbestos pajamas so as not to be derogatory to those with special needs. Thanks to the sensitive training of my friend, Mikey. : ) So that is my key word for Mikey to know what I want to say but am not. So if you hear me say someone has on their asbestos PJS they are being really dumb. i.e. that guy tried to pull me into chat 15 times in a row and I rejected him, he must be wearing asbestos pjs

I once told someone to piss off and didn't put the LOL after it...and they responded "LOL. Funny dude!". I was like...WTH??? So, some people just don't get it when you ARE trying to insult them. Sigh!

well, see my best friend Gail is English so if she said, "Oh Terri, Piss Off..." That would be like "please do not screw with me......" That is different that "PISS OFF TERRI!!" which would literally me "SCREW YOURSELF I AM ANGRY!!" I think you need the caps....

Hang in there.

Sometimes people get their panties in a wad and Anyone on line is going to be their anger Match if you just happen to be the one who crosses their invisable boundries.

You never know what condition there condition is in as the evening progresses too. I have seen folks start out all rosy posey and as the evening goes along they get sloshed and nasty. A major reason I am careful who I have niteowl chats with.

you are right about useing regional and subculture slang with people who do not know you. Reagional pride and sterotypes can cause a lot of hurt feelings.

Disability culture is not familiar to a lot of people and even with in it are subgroups; consumers, family,caregivers. Terms tend to change in the last group with some falling out of use as offensive. Also being percieved as in or out of the culture can get you in a lot of trouble if you make the wrong cracks. Since you don't know who has or does not have someone intimate in their life that is disabled you can be hanging yourself from a tall tree with a lot of folks.

Generally on line if you think you are getting close tot he edge you probably want to step back or qualify what you say. Once it is out there it is there FOREVER for everyone to see. Keep in mind future love interests, employers, friends, and enemies can "recall" what you put out there. Even if you do it as a newbiee.

Icons may be useful but then you have to keep in mind maybe readers don't know all the abbreviations and it isn't a crime if you don't either.

If you have stepped on toes all you can do is say your sorry and learn from the experience. Genrally you don't want to follow someone in a thread or thread to thread but if you really think you owe someone an apology you can send them a simple "I'm sorry" message and hope they accept it. It isn't a public apology but sometimes it means more.

Personally I think public apologys can have show courage but most often they are seen as justification or attention seeking and are better passed on.

True some people do have friends and those who kind of watch the lay of the land before they jump in are smart.

Thankfully the Moderators on Mingle are good about watching out and checking offensive behavior. If someone is being a jerk you don't have to flame them because sooner or later they will be gone.

You can't make every one like you but seems like you are well recieved so relax and make friends. Many of the folks here become friends that are great to share your general life events with. Lots of talent, wisdom, endouragement, kindness, and life experience when you want it.

Sweetie, Don;t worry about hurting their feelings so much. If they can't understand sarcasm and humor. Then they are NOT worth the time. Your profile looks fine, So come on in and have fun with the rest of us.

This is pretty much how I do things here. I don't go out of my way to offend anyone, but I don't go out of my way to tiptoe around people who may choose to get offended. Unfortunately, there are some people who seem to get offended by everything and I'm just not going to change the way I respond because of them. Most people seem to be fine, though.