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| Topic: 3 Years Later & You Still Make Me Sick | |
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This is a first for me. Just a little bit ago, I came across my ex from three years ago on another dating website. Since curiosity often gets the best of me I decided to check his profile out.    
His profile was disgusting and worth reporting. He claimed he had little to no baggage in his life. He took 8 years off his age, claimed he has no children and he ended his profile by stating quite clearly that "No fat chicks are allowed. Not fair? Life isn't fair. Go to the gym." I feel physically sick because he's 38, he has 2 of the greatest kids who's mother (he's still married to her. He never told me but his mom did)is a crack whore on the streets of kensington. He also states he is undecided/open about having kids. Such a lie! and to top it off he's mean when he drinks sometimes.
I'm just so disgusted and don't want any other women to have to deal with what I went through with him. there's don't date him girl dot com. 
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People can be anyone they wish to be, on the internet. Lying is not illegal. They become 'players' and they know what words to use. It is a shame someone else will have to go through it, as you did. Live and learn :-) I just feel like I need to protect those who are honestly good people and don't deserve his crap. I feel you on wishing you could help other women avoid getting involved with him. If there was a way I'd help the next woman too. Admin may not be able to do anything about him, let's just be thankful he's not some kind of criminal or rapist just a liar. |
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It helps when you know what you problem is. Recently, one of our members decided that she wasn't an alcoholic but an alanon. I was happy for her as one can be both. For me I am more of an alcoholic even though I am third generation because of my grandfather running a still with my daddy who was a shine runner and my son who was busted with a meth lab. Our new alanon when I came to check up on her as she gave me back a big book is doing fine. Her daughter asked her for money to go her bail for drug related incarceration and her son giving her hell for her trying to help pay off his fines for public drunkenness and a DWI was just too much for her. By the time she got to the fourth step she found it was them and not her with the problem. I told the her alanons would help her like they helped me. I got the help at an joint alanon and AA meeting. It was in the form of a question before I could even open my mouth. She said, "Don't tell me it was a woman who got you so upset." I said, "How did you know?"
It was then I discovered the snake venom philosophy for if a woman can help you with a problem that you had with another woman then the problem must be in me. It really helped me to understand that alcoholism is a family disease which was what Lois said who was the wife of our founder Bill W.
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This is a first for me. Just a little bit ago, I came across my ex from three years ago on another dating website. Since curiosity often gets the best of me I decided to check his profile out.
His profile was disgusting and worth reporting. He claimed he had little to no baggage in his life. He took 8 years off his age, claimed he has no children and he ended his profile by stating quite clearly that "No fat chicks are allowed. Not fair? Life isn't fair. Go to the gym." I feel physically sick because he's 38, he has 2 of the greatest kids who's mother (he's still married to her. He never told me but his mom did)is a crack whore on the streets of kensington. He also states he is undecided/open about having kids. Such a lie! and to top it off he's mean when he drinks sometimes.
I'm just so disgusted and don't want any other women to have to deal with what I went through with him. Or you could just look at it like "Wow, am I glad I'm not mixed up with any of THAT anymore." And even if you could fix (or remove) his profile over there, it isn't going to fix him. Could be worse. One day not too long ago, I started looking up some of my exes on FB, out of boredom and curiosity. I found a bunch of them, and I am SO GLAD I didn't end up with any of them. |
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I went through a similar thing. You feel like you have a responsibility to protect someone so what happened to you wont happen to them. It doesnt work. I felt so guilty about not approaching the new gal of an ex of mine. Then she actually approached me wanting to know what I thought of him. I was honest and told her everything. She just acted like I was a lyin biotch, and my ex was 'right about me'. Im actually grateful. I got to get it off my chest, the rest is her problem. And really I couldnt care less of his or her opinion of me. That is so sad. I really think people should speak more openly with their partners ex and many would be saved from bad relationships. There are exes that are actually friends or who are mature enough to aknowledge incompatibility without putting the other one down. There are also those who broke up for very good reason, habits, or tendencies of their partner and those are the ones people dont pay enough attention to. Of course, there are plenty who would pay it no mind but it would still feel better to at least TRY to communicate the concerns and fail than to have never tried at all. |
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Three years....let it go. Your ex is on a dating site....ohhhhhhh could be worse. My ex has a gaping butthole porn site. Eventually, you gotta just chalk it up to a loss and be a better person when you just walk away. What's the address of this "gaping butthole site"? |
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VandasWorld.com
She don't look 40. My first true love that I pined over for years...I was an idiot. |
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I went through a similar thing. You feel like you have a responsibility to protect someone so what happened to you wont happen to them. It doesnt work. I felt so guilty about not approaching the new gal of an ex of mine. Then she actually approached me wanting to know what I thought of him. I was honest and told her everything. She just acted like I was a lyin biotch, and my ex was 'right about me'. Im actually grateful. I got to get it off my chest, the rest is her problem. And really I couldnt care less of his or her opinion of me. that's a good point too - getting in the middle of those things often backfires - I know I just steer clear - I figure whatever was negative between us might be something he & his new lady are compatible with - or maybe he learned from our mistakes and is trying to be a better person? who knows....I have tried to use lessons from failed relationships to change myself for the better in the future - so I'll be a better partner for the next guy I meet - at least this is my goal. I would want to give my ex the same benefit of the doubt that I would like. a new man will know there were problems that's why they are exes right? And he certainly has a few of those too- But no need to sabotage anyone else's 2nd chances jmho.... True I never got in the middle of any of their biznez. Yikes. But she wanted to know the extent of the abuse I experienced from him, so I told her. Abuse, compatible, dunno. I hope they are compatible to the point where he doesnt feel the need to abuse. I dont worry or think about it. I just know, I cant be blamed for anything now if it continues. I learned quite a lot about myself and hope the poster has too. well no I wasn't thinking in terms of abuse - just things that might be compatibility issues as we grow & change over the years - people can grow apart as well as together. I have a male friend who was accused by his parents of being abusive but he was totally a saint with me....I am sure his parents weren't making it up, but it was as though we knew entirely different people. So yes, I do think it's - possible for people to succeed in a relationship where there had been previous failures....I would not want to sabotage that for anyone, not even an "ex" |
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You girls really need to learn how liberating it can be to know how to operate a pair of brass knuckles.
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Yeah, I know. I just want to warn everyone on PlentyofFish, lol. I can understand how you feel. My ex was an abuser and alcoholic as threatened to kill me; yet he is still on a dating site. I am powerless to do anything to warn the other women and I just hope they are smart enough to stay away from him. 
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I went through a similar thing. You feel like you have a responsibility to protect someone so what happened to you wont happen to them. It doesnt work. I felt so guilty about not approaching the new gal of an ex of mine. Then she actually approached me wanting to know what I thought of him. I was honest and told her everything. She just acted like I was a lyin biotch, and my ex was 'right about me'. Im actually grateful. I got to get it off my chest, the rest is her problem. And really I couldnt care less of his or her opinion of me. that's a good point too - getting in the middle of those things often backfires - I know I just steer clear - I figure whatever was negative between us might be something he & his new lady are compatible with - or maybe he learned from our mistakes and is trying to be a better person? who knows....I have tried to use lessons from failed relationships to change myself for the better in the future - so I'll be a better partner for the next guy I meet - at least this is my goal. I would want to give my ex the same benefit of the doubt that I would like. a new man will know there were problems that's why they are exes right? And he certainly has a few of those too- But no need to sabotage anyone else's 2nd chances jmho.... True I never got in the middle of any of their biznez. Yikes. But she wanted to know the extent of the abuse I experienced from him, so I told her. Abuse, compatible, dunno. I hope they are compatible to the point where he doesnt feel the need to abuse. I dont worry or think about it. I just know, I cant be blamed for anything now if it continues. I learned quite a lot about myself and hope the poster has too. well no I wasn't thinking in terms of abuse - just things that might be compatibility issues as we grow & change over the years - people can grow apart as well as together. I have a male friend who was accused by his parents of being abusive but he was totally a saint with me....I am sure his parents weren't making it up, but it was as though we knew entirely different people. So yes, I do think it's - possible for people to succeed in a relationship where there had been previous failures....I would not want to sabotage that for anyone, not even an "ex" Me too. Most of my exes I could bump into at a grocery store and say hi. This one, run the other way. There was a while that I hoped he would find someone else, just so that he would leave me alone, and I think thats why I felt guilty. The new gal would represent my 'escape'. I would never sabotage, but I wouldnt lie to her about what he did to me either. I think in that case I would have been wrong to lie....but like I said, it was a blessing for me. I didnt initiate, or argue, only answered her questions. Gosh, for parents to do that. How horrible for all of them regardless of what the truth is. it was not a good situation, and he is a wonderful man |
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You girls really need to learn how liberating it can be to know how to operate a pair of brass knuckles. what makes u think we don't know that?
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You girls really need to learn how liberating it can be to know how to operate a pair of brass knuckles. what makes u think we don't know that?
Yep, mine is next to my boxing gloves.
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Sadly they do go on to live their lives after we dump them. If you are still angry then that is a problem because that means you are still holding on to something.
I feel bad for all the women who suffered after me but there isn't anything I can do about it. Besides, I always feel that we meet these men because we have a life lesson to learn. Who are we to deny others of their life lessons? 
I learned mine and they were some painful things to go through but I am a better smarter person for them today. 
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Sadly they do go on to live their lives after we dump them. If you are still angry then that is a problem because that means you are still holding on to something. I feel bad for all the women who suffered after me but there isn't anything I can do about it. Besides, I always feel that we meet these men because we have a life lesson to learn. Who are we to deny others of their life lessons?
I learned mine and they were some painful things to go through but I am a better smarter person for them today.
I agree that we learn a lesson from our bad experiences; however my worry is that my ex may kill the next woman. I was lucky to be able to fend him off; the next woman may not have the strength that I did. |
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Look, I am def so over him in so many ways and I could care less about him. It's the fact he's trying to play other people. But as some of you have said ... a real woman isn't going to fall for that.
I can't help that I care about others when all I get is crapped on. But it's life and yeah ... I learn lessons from every relationship I've had. I thank everyone for their input, even yours, Krupa. Although I really have no emotion (not even anger) towards my ex in the way you think I do. I just like looking out for other people. It's what I do and I can't help it. I"m going back to being numb now. I've gotten the strength I need to just shake it off and ... continue about life. |
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