Community > General Discussion

Topic: The Silent Treatment
vivian2981 Joined Thu 04/16/09 Posts: 37289	Mon 09/12/11 08:52 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? Not always. When you are angry, you never know what you might say. You can't take it back. Its better to be silent and go somewhere to think about it. So where emotions are concerned silence is sometimes golden. Not talking about a 'spat' here...I'm talking long term silence on any given subject..and yes it is true.

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Mon 09/12/11 08:53 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? Not always. When you are angry, you never know what you might say. You can't take it back. Its better to be silent and go somewhere to think about it. So where emotions are concerned silence is sometimes golden. yeah I can see this to make sense in the immediate time frame but what about when months go by?

vivian2981 Joined Thu 04/16/09 Posts: 37289	Mon 09/12/11 08:53 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? yes

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 09/12/11 08:54 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? Not always. When you are angry, you never know what you might say. You can't take it back. Its better to be silent and go somewhere to think about it. So where emotions are concerned silence is sometimes golden. Not talking about a 'spat' here...I'm talking long term silence on any given subject..and yes it is true. I think it can absolutely be used as a control issue.

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Mon 09/12/11 08:55 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? Not always. When you are angry, you never know what you might say. You can't take it back. Its better to be silent and go somewhere to think about it. So where emotions are concerned silence is sometimes golden. Not talking about a 'spat' here...I'm talking long term silence on any given subject..and yes it is true. So in a way its being manipulative and abusive? I am understanding this correctly?

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Mon 09/12/11 08:58 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? Well Jerry that narrowes it down lol

vivian2981 Joined Thu 04/16/09 Posts: 37289	Mon 09/12/11 08:59 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? Not always. When you are angry, you never know what you might say. You can't take it back. Its better to be silent and go somewhere to think about it. So where emotions are concerned silence is sometimes golden. Not talking about a 'spat' here...I'm talking long term silence on any given subject..and yes it is true. So in a way its being manipulative and abusive? I am understanding this correctly? yes it can be...when it is used over an extended period of time.

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Mon 09/12/11 08:59 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? Not always. When you are angry, you never know what you might say. You can't take it back. Its better to be silent and go somewhere to think about it. So where emotions are concerned silence is sometimes golden. Not talking about a 'spat' here...I'm talking long term silence on any given subject..and yes it is true. I think it can absolutely be used as a control issue. Makes sense to me.

manOfewwords Joined Wed 10/22/08 Posts: 29908	Mon 09/12/11 09:08 AM
I think we all have had the 'silent treatment' at one time or another..and maybe have even given it ourselves to someone. During my divorce my ex would not talk at all or explain why he was doing the things he was. It made a nervous wreck of me trying to figure it out. My doctor said this when I was talking to her one day. "He who holds the silence........holds the power". Think about it...it's true. So its a controlling issue? Well Jerry that narrowes it down lol

irisheyes79 Joined Sat 11/10/07 Posts: 16745	Mon 09/12/11 10:02 AM
hell drinkin n clubbing solve that for me

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 09/12/11 10:05 AM
hell drinkin n clubbing solve that for me How so? That doesn't really say much about the topic.

irisheyes79 Joined Sat 11/10/07 Posts: 16745	Mon 09/12/11 10:07 AM
hell drinkin n clubbing solve that for me How so? That doesn't really say much about the topic. it just does

Dan99 Joined Sat 08/23/08 Posts: 14941	Mon 09/12/11 10:09 AM
I gave this thread the silent treatment the whole day yesterday. Now i am ready to talk.

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Mon 09/12/11 10:35 AM
Yeah - give them the non-silent treatment!

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Mon 09/12/11 12:11 PM
Next time I get mad at someone I will give them a choice. They can either have a piece of my mind or the silent treatment.

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Mon 09/12/11 08:38 PM Edited by BettyB on Mon 09/12/11 08:53 PM
Well like I said before you may never know the reason why somebody just stops talking to you. they do it cause they can.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Mon 09/12/11 09:13 PM
Next time I get mad at someone I will give them a choice. They can either have a piece of my mind or the silent treatment. I'd much rather know why someone is mad at me, rather than having to guess.

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Mon 09/12/11 09:23 PM Edited by BettyB on Mon 09/12/11 09:25 PM
Next time I get mad at someone I will give them a choice. They can either have a piece of my mind or the silent treatment. I'd much rather know why someone is mad at me, rather than having to guess. So would I, but some people just won't give you that courtesy.Kind of sad actually.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Mon 09/12/11 10:57 PM Edited by Jeanniebean on Mon 09/12/11 11:01 PM
Next time I get mad at someone I will give them a choice. They can either have a piece of my mind or the silent treatment. I'd much rather know why someone is mad at me, rather than having to guess. I guess it would depend who it was. I know people who have chronic anger problems. They use anger to control others. But if you live with someone who constantly gets irritated at something you are doing it is better if they tell you what it is than to harbor that anger and let it smolder. I don't like living with someone who seems to be always irritated or angry at me. But if they are not willing to tell me, then they need to get over it or take it somewhere else. I don't like the negative waves man. Like Oddball says: "Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? "