Anyone here who think they dont ignore anyone?

Thanks for posting, Sandlewood4!

Before I get into this, I'd like you all to know that my signature line has been this for the last five years:

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

...and I live by that; I really do.

That having been said, everyone on this thread should be wondering by now why it is that saying "Hello" is
considered kind. After all, it doesn't feed us, house us, or help us propagate our DNA. Furthermore, if
we're not using the greeting as an introduction to a more useful conversation (such as to arrange for your house
to be painted, for example), then it's even less obvious why anyone would say "Hello" or "How are you?"

After all, the last thing someone wants to know when they ask, "How are you?" is how you are.

It's clear, then, that most of these trivial greetings must satisfy some social ritual. Eric Berne (author of
"Games People Play" tried to explain some of this in the 60's with something called Transactional Analysis.

These greetings are known as "Strokes". Babies require lots of "stroking" for proper development and it appears
that even as adults we "stroke" one another dozens of times a day. It tells us that we exist and that others
know it. A mentor once told me, "People like to hear their names." Now, I know why.

Mr. TallDarkAndIrish pointed out that at his gym, the males acknowledge his strokes, but that females do not. Berne
explains this by observing that people are picky about whom they can receive strokes from or give strokes to. In our society,
it isn't acceptable for a woman to exchange strokes with many types of men -- particularly men they don't know.
(Flaming gay men, on the other hand, are okay to stroke, it seems. Or hot guys. Not single engineers; sorry.)

Since compliments and greetings are essentially free, it seems reasonable to wonder why ANYONE would withold greeting
and complimenting everyone everywhere. We all know people who are more gracious than the average person and it seems
that they "didn't get the memo" to be stingy with niceness. Yet on the whole, we ration our compliments. Why?

Another researcher (Steiner) points out that there seems to be a "stroke economy". One web page suggests it is some
sort of parental control conspiracy. I don't know about that. But it does seem that where compliments are given
too freely, that they lose their value.

For hallway acknowledgements, it seems that I use it to say that "I recognize you to be an important member of our tribe."

And I suppose that's the kind thing to do, but it's also the proper tribal thing to do, so it's self-serving in a way.

But I'll never ask "How are you?" unless I want the question answered.

Have a great day! And thanks for letting me blabber.

I agree that a lack of basic manners is pretty annoying. I never intentionally ignore someone. If they say Hi I say Hi back.

I'm also find it a bit annoying when I'm in the grocery store trying to get down an aisle and say, "Excuse me" to the group of 15 or 20 stading in the middle of the aisle apparently catching up on a decade of gossip and get nothing for my efforts but the 'glare of death' for daring to try and get around them.

It happens.

In Texas, most people are very polite and friendly. If they are a doushe...we just assume they are from somewhere else. (usually right)

But, I do what I can to make myself feel better. If I hold a door with a smile and a nod. I usually get "Thank you"

If they ignore me (always the women) I think "I bet your old man is miserable with you and will be happiest on the day he dies and don't gotta put up with your sorry @$$ you dumpy fkn cow"

Then I smile again and feel alot better.

:)

Don't even try to talk to me before I've had my morning coffee.

THAT is legitimate.

I am friendly and send out many a Hi and return them also. I understand there could be many reasons why ppl don't return the greeting. But ya know, hopefully my smile made someone's day.

Where I work everyone has ear plugs or muffs on so if I cannot say hi or hello, I'll give them a smile, wave my hand and smile or nod my head. Though I rarely say hi or hello - it's usually howdy or hey. Sometimes it's "Good Morning or Afternoon".

As to being on the road stopping to allow someone out of a drive or parking space, same thing. Wave my hand with a smile. Though most often I get the finger.

get the finger ? you must live up north

Gee... how did you know that?

I greet anyone who is a reasonable distance from me when I am out (walking, working, exercising, or shopping). It's a nice thing to do, and I enjoy seeing people smile.

When I was returning to my apartment late (I walked everywhere in College, I'm not so good at this now) I made a point of greeting anyone close to me. It made me feel safer, because I knew that THEY knew that I had seen them and was alert to their presences.

Wow, I didn’t think I was going to get this many amazing responses. Let me see if I can summarize it all, as I don’t think I can respond to everyone individually.

So some ideas about this social response is related to culture, gender, styles of handling conflict, insincere, meaningless, habitual responses, or simply nothing personal. All good points. Some people didn’t find greeting necessary and many welcomed it. Then there are some who it doesn’t really effect or who did not experience it, maybe even as a result of where they live. Oh, what a wonderful feeling that must be.

For some people it was important to set boundaries so the acknowledgment does not turn into a conversation or bonding. I have done this many times with strangers.

I don’t really care too much about the greeting itself. If someone decides not to have eye contact with me sometimes I let that be the clue to leave the person alone, no problem. I just feel, if someone decides to establish eye contact with you it’s too late not to respond to someone who is saying hi to you, unless you want to let the person know there is something else going on as klc mentioned.

I totally agree with you Nyteflame, about the safety aspect of greeting. I hadn’t thought of that. It takes the tension off of certain situations, especially related to danger. As you said, it let’s people know that you see them and also let’s them know you’re not scared of them which changes the dynamics.

wxmann, please forgive me for being so blunt and but what’s up with the mask? Couldn’t help my curiosity.

Thank you so much for your input. Very interesting questions and insights, indeed. I wonder if this may be related to why more women ignore men as Mr. TallDarkAndIrish had mentioned in his example. I have certainly been in these situations many times. Since men (in general) are more assertive, women may think a hello might turn in to something they would rather not go towards, which I’m sure also happens the other way around as I have experienced it when guys were not interested in me. It was a safeguard of some sort.

Nevertheless it was nice blabbering with you.

u kill me.

I never ignor anyone, it wouldnt matter who they are, even if I dont want to speak to them, I will stand and chat about something..