But they all have kids!

Reproduction is a non-issue for me, regardless, because I can't do that.

but if their kids are grown then they are pretty much out of the
picture! And they won't want more. Except in your case after 90 days
they may have to adopt a Nigerian royal family.

you must have a curse that we must remove somehow. let me brainstorm and get back.

Lex, I applaud your steadfast determination. One should not have children if they know that is not the path for them. I work at a government agency that sees far too many young girls with several children. Most of these girls do not have the emotional maturity needed. Their reasons? My friends all have babies, I want someone who will always love me and the best...I thought the baby daddy would stay with me. There are women out there who have chosen not to have children, but you are correct in saying it is a minority. Sadly, women do manipulate. Could also be that they think you are good looking, intelligent, creative and that your genes would be passed along producing a child just like daddy!!!

Stick to your guns!

Yeay! Women power! We have choices too.

I have a bad habit of making fun of voodoo priests. I just can't help myself.

The "feeling guilty" part is what would concern me. That sounds like she had a subliminal sense she was "doing something wrong" by not having kids.

And I've had people trying to guilt me into it for more years than I can count. It doesn't work. Unless you let it.

Yeah, I've heard that argument about sixty million times -- "Don't you want to have a little version of yourself running around?" And I don't get it. What's the point of THAT?

"Don't you want to pass your name along to another generation?" What's a name? A collection of phonetic sounds that, taken together, produce a recognizable reference. Why in the world would I care whether or not that gets passed along?

"If you have kids, you'll have someone around to take care of you when you get old and feeble." OK, that's probably the most selfish thing I've ever heard in my life. Sure, my goal is to become a burden on people I helped create solely for that purpose. You could build a "dystopian, near-future" horror novel on that premise.

And maybe it's just me, but none of the "reasons you should have kids" arguments makes any sense to me at all. The world doesn't need more people, I don't have any interest in, nor aptitude for, being a parent, and I'd rather write books than change diapers.

If they really think I'm good looking, intelligent, and creative, then let them deal with me on THAT basis, and not on some loopy, dunderheaded fantasy of some nebulous future offspring. Cuz it ain't a-gonna happen.

99.99999824361097% just choose not to exercise them.

I've met ONE. Ever. And I've been in this weird on-again-off-again thing with her for the past 12 years. Frankly, it's getting a little stale.

I'd like to meet one more. But I'm not sure there is one more.

Not ALL.

Well, I've heard lots of urban legends and myths and stories and such -- like when they talk about the Yeti or leprechauns or the chalupacabra -- and no matter how many people talk about them, they're still myths. I will believe it when I see it, possibly a little later.

But then she walks into your life out of nowhere and everything changes.

Yep, I can't argue there.

In the movies, sure. That's why people go to see movies -- vicarious wish fulfillment.

I just haven't seen anything to make me believe it happens in real life.

When I was a kid, my Mom wanted me to do something I didn't want to do -- I don't even remember what it was now. I asked, "Why do you want me to do that?" Probably clean up my room or something.

She said, "You'll understand when you have kids of your own." Not IF but WHEN. Like it was an inevitability. I got a little older, I discovered it wasn't mandatory after all.

But just try telling that to women on dating sites.

The main argument I hear from women is "You're not a real woman if you don't have kids" or "You're incomplete if you don't have kids." But that's like saying you have no value, no intrinsic worth, except as an adjunct to another person. That whole concept just baffles me.

So, I cannot respond to you personally because I do have kids, all older.....And I do not live 6 blocks from you....(Southern Colorado) to be exact. I do have more than a few qaulifying examples, but I believe those have barred me from further communication.

In all seriousness, I totally agree with the long distance relationship, we are all somewhat on the same level when it comes to maybe the comfort of being in one another's arms, and or just looking into each others eyes, being on Video cam is only for me and my daughter, that lives 1200 miles apart and also my Mom...(:

As for the people in other countries trying to find their way into the country of riches, I have no room for, besides I want to have communication with the other person and not have to use an online translator to talk...lol

So glad to find this community of like minded individuals

Good Luck Lex, and Good Luck to myself as well, I may not have comfort of another, I do have the comfort in knowing my true love comes from within myself.....(:

Have a great night

So true and that's why I am so far away from my family.

I think this is an especially appropriate post for this thread.
If the main criterion is that the woman not want to have more
kids, then the largest pool of women who are not going to want to
have kids is the group who have already had theirs. And those
who never wanted kids and are past child-bearing age.

According to the Pew research center, now 18% of women go through
their childbearing years without having any kids and although that
is up quite a bit from 10% in 1976, undoubtedly many of them would
have preferred to have kids but sadly could not find a mate.

So clearly only about 10% of women do not want to have children
which means this single criterion cuts out 90% of the available
candidates. But if you are OK with having grown children Lex then
there is a much larger group for you - where you may very well
find a great match.

I speak from experience. One of my best friends married a woman
10 years his senior who has grown kids. For him it was quite a
tough decision because he actually was interested in having children
but he also loved his older partner who could not have any more and
did not want any more. In the end he decided that parenthood was
something he could forego and substitute grandparenthood instead
if the situation were to arise...Well that was 15 years ago. They
have been happily married and sure enough he now has grandkids who
are my kids age. It has not been much responsibility for him at all
and his wife is just great - smart and fun and creative.

So, I thought I would share that with you. Open yourself up to
different possibilities and you never know what you might find.
Could be good this next time around.



http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/06/30/intentional-childlessness-on-the-rise/

Actually, I don't have a problem with people contacting me, regardless of whether they have kids or not. The point of the thread is that I'm tired of being contacted by a.) scammers, and b.) people who want to pummel me with reasons I should get involved with them even though we are definitely not a match.

Most of my friends on this site are women with kids, so obviously they are not precluded from contacting me!