Lately I have been having feelings and a need to go for a change in my life. I am tired of being single, but very scared of dating and meeting women with a goal oriented mind set. Before I would meet women and pretty much spell it out up front that I wanted no more than a casual encounter and fun..

My life has been taking several turns for the better of late. I am secure in employment and not strapped for cash as before, my lodgings are appropriate and stable. I have taken care to secure stability in regards to my son. I feel that I can finally bring to a relationship something other than need. I have something to give. I feel this in my heart. I want to share it.

The thing is, I can't share this with a one night stand. I can't share this with a buddy. I can't share this with my sister or mom. I feel really alone. The alone feeling is actually normal and comforting, as I have been alone for the past 4 years. Alone in the sense of no stable relationship.

I have been having thoughts of maybe starting a relationship with a girl. I don't have one in line right now. But I am looking for advice on how I can respect myself. And for those who know. I would appreciate you input.

Under no circumstances do I want to get involved with a girl and move in with her or be a daddy to her kids. I want my independence 100%. But I do want a steady thing, and not just sex. But a good home cooked meal, prepared by me or her, and other things like this once or twice a week, that I can count on, such as a movie and stuff like that, and not feel obliged to oblige her. Etcetera. You know, a comfy night together after a hard days work.

Am I being unreasonable?

I thought I still need time, but I really think I HAVE given myself more than enough time.

Confusion for me is bad. I deal horribly with indecision.

I am feeling this way right now, and my defense mechanisms will embark and I will probably be out looking for a girl tonight for a small comfort session. I am sick of it.

I have alot to offer. Where to begin?

Thanx for any advice.




I am laughing right now, but I know, I will be longing for a bit oh comfort soon. Is this wrong?

hmmmm...uh,oh yeah..naw,wait i think i might know,nope dammit i just can't answer this question or give advice except maybe try it and see what happens.

I know how you are feeling.

I know you maybe a little nervous. But you'll soon realise that it's nothing more then a silly notion.

Go where ever you can, start some small talk.

You will do well, all the best!

Dealing with the confusion is the big one bro.

We have very limited control over everything but ourselves. So, you can't pre plan a path. Just be the best man you can be. A woman WILL see it.

Put away the ideals that you may have in what you would consider an "ideal" lover. When you look at the many things that the world offers, then the choices are limitless.

Love will happen when it happens and it is not something that can be planned for or predicted.

It walks up behind you and smacks you blind side like a sledge hammer.

As I think about it...

This is what me and my brother do....

She has her home. I have mine. She gets one drawer. That is it.

My brother has been with his woman for almost 11 years. It works.