When looking for someone to date, do you prefer someone who has never been married? What about divorced? Why or why not?

I would go for, never married. There's one thing I can't fix and that's a broken heart...

I personally prefer someone who has been divorced, widowed or anyone who has been into a previous marriage. For me those individuals already have a vast understanding about their partners' needs therefore are more tolerating than those who have never been into a marriage. They also tend to be more experienced in life so they already know how to please a partner.

This could be very true for some. However, what about those who are bitter because of divorce?

I don't agree that being married and divorced necessarily means someone is more experienced in life and knows how to please their partners better.

Cases of those who are in bitter state usually falls in the elimination of the dating period



Well... could be. But I believe that having been in the situation, any situation for that matter, make someone experienced than those who have not been into it at all.

What about those who have been in long term relationships, but not been married? Are they less experienced?

I'm not saying you're wrong at all. Just trying to understand a bit more about what you're saying :).

Oh! I just didn't think of the not married as have been in long term relationships I was thinking about those who are entirely new in the dating scene. Yes, you are right, they are not any less experienced.

But another point of discussion... If those individuals have been in long term relationships, what made them do away with marriage? My simple minded me thinks that it could be that they are not as tolerating as those who have not been afraid to tie the knot. Or that they are not really into commitment, which I find kind of a good trait of those have been previously in a marriage.

Someone divorced multiple times might be of concern, but never married or divorced in general isn't a biggie. It's whether they have kids or not that it.

I think age is a big factor in this question.
Someone in their 20s or 30s who have never been married might not be ready to settle down yet.In that case its good they are sewing their oats first.
Somebody older than that could mean either they are too selfish ,too set in their ways , not interested or just simply have not met the right person.
However I would not judge anybody on their previous martial status and that would not influence my decision to date them.
The only times it would bother me is if they had been divorced several times or were a very recent widower, in those cases I would definitely be a little skeptical.

i love this question

i have my own presumptions on this and will hold onto them.

as for my preference, i'm with equus on this. multiple divorces and 4 kids from 5 fathers is a problem.



. . .

Hummm at my age if they have never been married it would make me wonder why not? Another thing that would make me think twice is if they had been married more then 5 times..... And if they still have kids under the age of 13.....

But none of those would cause me to not date them. If I choose to not date them it would have to have more reasons then just those.

In a perfect world, never married. In reality, who cares?

depends on the baggage each carries, never married with a mound of debt and 3 kids to support? or divorced with no kids? to many variables to go with one or the other.

^this and how they deal with the baggage (maturity)!

I have dated Divorcees and women who were never married. I prefer the ones who were never married. Every single time I have dated a divorcee it always winds up ending in a train wreck. I despise being compared to anyone else especially vicariously and fictitiously.

Because I have a preference for single parents, Id prefer someone who was committed to their childrens parent(rather through marriage or long term relationship), but its only a preference and not a mandate.

On the other side of that, I could ask why those who were married got divorced? What went wrong? It could have been a commitment issue there as well. Or any number of other problems.

marriage aside

exluding virgins

anyone who is still single might have a 'commitment' issue,


or they just may have not found the right one to 'commit' to
(including the previously married)

Really? I helped my last GF with her kids and I am sworn never to do that ever again! Not MY responsibility. He is right. There are too many variables for this question to be answered effectively. Yes I am still friends with my last GF but both of us have moved on and I have been left with this strange lost feeling since. It is way too tough for me to put into words how I feel exactly. I think I can sum it up as being like the poor kid out in the rain looking through a restaurant window as a party and feasting are going on inside and the people inside are pointing at me and laughing!

Be careful about citing maturity. I am part of an industry I hate, the pet industry. Why? People can't even keep a house plant alive! Maturity and responsibility go hand in hand. I make money saving animals from humans as best I can. Even Fish deserve to be treated with some respect even if just a little! That is where many horse owners fail in my opinion at least here in Los Angeles (Palos Verdes still has horse trails and private ownership) and about 3/4 of the yutzes throw money at the care of their animal but don't do the work themselves. They wonder why their animals are skittish and unresponsive to them while the animals are behaved around their handlers. Why? The owners only ride the animal, they don't deal with cleaning hooves, bathing the animals, addressing sores, sticking fingers in its lips to open its mouth and check to see if its teeth are fine or any lesions in its mouth (but I only opened the mouth of a horse I knew and trusted when I did odd jobs in Oregon during the summer. I got to ride horses but I had to take care of them too). These people seldom exercise their animals either. And worst is you need to keep horses in twos and threes MINIMUM! People here just buy one and the animal is alone most of the day. And these are mature people taking ownership of horses. So am I confusing Responsible for Mature here?

How many divorced women date out of desperation? What are the seeds of that desperation? Why should a man accept responsibilities not their own?

Likewise how many men have had to deal with situations where he loves the woman but the kids hate him and pull vindictive BS on them? It is so funny to see that in the movies but to live it? NEVER!

Now I do know of cases where the man coming into the picture is a dead beat azzhole with NO redeeming qualities but lets be honest, Shitte flies in all directions and no one here is a saint. We are ALL sinners here!

I am not trying to be a jerk. I am just speaking my piece plain and simple with no PC candy coating. I might date another divorced woman depending on who she is but the baggage of past relationships does mess with me and other men as well.

Do you assume right off the bat that anyone single may have a commitment issue?