i may be wrong here, but i am pretty upset here. To start off, i'm a genuinely nice person and in being that way i get hurt and sacrifice my own happiness. I.ve never even been one to stand up for myself. I've decided to stop. Now that i am going to be a mother i believe i should make myself happy and my daughter too. My dad's EX wife texted me asking me if SHE could be in the delivery room! Wtf? It really made me mad that she'd ask that. She's not my mother. Not only that but she used to be mentally and physically abusive and i lived with my grandmother because of this. Finally my dad divorced her. I.ve remained nice to her. But when i said no she guilt tripped me and is making me feel horrible. Then she asked if my mom would be in there and i said probably which enraged her. I just, ah! Why, how is she mad at me? She has no right!

Yea you just can't be nice to some people. I have a hard time with it myself. But if she treated you badly, you should not punish yourself. It is YOUR right to choose who is in the room with you.

stick to your guns lizzie...you don't want people like that in your life

Lizzie Don't feel guilty.
She has no right. Its your delivery, and your choice. She's not your step mother anymore. YOU decide who is best to have with you that day. And DON'T let anyone mak eyou feel bad about it. Some people are just too self centered. Does she think she's gonna be grandma too? *some people amaze me*

i just.. Don't wanna hurt anyone but it's hurting me. I just.. I don't want her in there. I don't want her close to me. I've distanced myself. And she treats me like crap for finally telling her no.

and yes she keeps calling herself grandma and that hurts me too but i can't tell her no, which is some of my problem. I told her she could go to the hospital just not delivery room. I wish i could tell her off all together.

Don't let others tell you what to do. It gives them power over you.

i just wish i could stick up for myself and stop feeling bad for it.

don't feel bad, she is the one with the problem, not you. that delivery room is yours, not anyone elses. you need to focus on what the doctors and nurses tell you, not worrying about anything else. If ANYONE is in there causing you any discomfort or stress, they need to be removed. she is not thinking of anyone but herself, and you need to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible. you did the right thing, this whole time is for you and your baby, not her...

Don't worry I would feel the same,
BUT this is a time that you do not want anyone who is going to make you feel bad or uncomfortable with you.

Juat tell her you where talking to the hospital to see if she could go and they have put a limit on you, and you cannot have anyone else there. But you are so sorry.

Yep its telling a whopper but you really do not want her there.

this is gonna sound harsh but I say this in kindness, believe it or not

you need to break off all contact with her and make sure the appropriate parties are aware that you want NO contact. If she does not cooperate document any and all instances where things she says or does upset you emotionally. write them down and and save them in case you need them for legal purposes. your peace of mind and emotional well being are at stake

and her behavior is in appalling poor taste

thank you so much guys. You all have helped so much. I don't feel as bad now. And as for lying, i can't. I'm a horrid liar. She'd know. I honestly don't plan on anybody being in there at all.

i should do this, but i dunno if i can. :(

Let her be mad. Sounds like someone you don't need in your life anyway. Do what's best for your child and yourself.

First my friend this should be a happy time and you need to be HAPPY please don't get stressed out either while you are Pregnant its not good for you ,its also your choice who you want in there when you having a baby and never let a person put you on a Guilt trip as sounds like she is trying to do ,Stay strong don't get mad and just remember this new life you about to have in the world should be a time of HAPPINESS so your 100% right and your not being mean as you said she used to be mentally and physically abusive so thats not a person you want there if you feel stressed out with stick to who you like to be there but RELAX i know its stressful stuff but don't worry you doing whats good for your beautiful new baby your going to have your real mom there you say and do what makes you happy its not being mean HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS i myself sure wouldn't want someone who was abusive in there if i ever was a dad GOD BLESS i hope you have a BEAUTIFUL HAPPY HEALTHY BABYYY :))))))

one of my best friend's from my HS days had a stepmother who behaved inappropriately also and she really couldn't break off contact with her because of her fondness for her step siblings

it is a hard thing to do, and u are the best one to determine if it's really needed

but based just on what you have written it's worth thinking about in my opinion - even if it's just temporary- for a short time

Stick up for yourself and tell her to stay outta your life Lizzie! You will feel much better that you did stand up for yourself after the fact. Thicken your skin to vial people and let go of the guilt...since you don't have a reason to feel that way! Your baby...your life...she isn't necessary in it!

Bummer me to, if I try to tell a fib I giggle, its a dead giveaway

one of the hardest factors is my step sister. She still lives with her and i'm not afraid of not talking to my sister, but of my sister getting upset because she is her mom. But i.ve already told her no and that i don't feel comfortable with her in there and she is so mad i doubt she'll even bring my sister to the hospital. I want whats best for my lil one and sacrifice comes with it.

oh