So do you tell the person who is not wanting to commit your moving on? Or do you just do it and see what the reaction will be?

Or do you just do what?

A hungry closed mouth can never get fed. Tell 'em...

I like that. Makes sense just never heard it before now.

I just move on, and if they ask why no contact in awhile...you let them know you are giving them their space, after all you're not committed....right..

just move on...

I wouldn't know iam yet to find out

just move on...

Ah, you mean moving on without talking to them about it? Just cutting someone off and ignoring them instead of discussing the situation? Why wouldn't you talk about it?

real hard to do that... we have become best friends and she knows I love her. I also know she has issues and am afraid if i move on .... that is saying she was not worth the wait....

same as the rest of us.... scared of being hurt again after a disasterous relationship... so not really healed enough to move on... I guess...

But , I dont want to be 5 years down the line either before we commit...

you said just move on like twice up there. ad you are concerned about how she will feel and how you feel. Sounds like you made your decision already. you arent ready to move on clearly but you are tired of waiting. Dont be so anxious. dont rush a good thing. If you are happy together..then be happy. If you are worried she isnt committed because their might be someone else or something, then move on.

I guess in a sense I've made a committment to my BF without the papers. I've found someone who makes me happy in everyway & I've committed to being in this relationship. But, I don't plan to ever marry again. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind & I squash it like a bug when it does! I guess it depends on what you're looking for & just how important it is to you. Can either one compromise & come to a mutual decision? Good luck!!

I would move on before I was really hurt..
Although I wouldnt have started anything as I don't want anything but commitment, or just friendship..

Your a good lookin bloke, let her know what you want, and if she is looking for something different then find someone who wants the same as you do..

Thanks Tessa. It's one of my favorite sayings.

I see it like this...If you need something from your significant other, you need to tell them. You can't expect them to read your mind or know how you feel. You can't possibly get what you want if you don't communicate what you want! If you talk to them honestly from your heart, you may not like the answers they give you, but at least you both know what you need to know to decide the next step.

Doing something just to gauge someone's reaction is a fool's game. Any good lawyer knows you don't ask a question of your witness unless you already know their answer!

Details, we need details.

But if you "just move on" don't look back to "see what the reaction will be." If you do, then you aren't "moving on" you are just playing games.

Word of advice: if you don't try a little harder... she will think you just didn't care enough.

So it would depend on how much you want it.

Yep I agree totally if you both are completely truthful from tyhe beginning with what you want and expect then there is no hassell.

What is the point of beatin around the bush tryin to work out what someone wants,

trust me ... I have said my peace... but quote " I just want to do me right now" meaning she wants to find herself and make all the angry thoughts of a relationship disappear before she gets into another relationship..... I dunno... i just don't want to make the wrong decision... But, I also don't want to realize I made the wrong decision by waiting for her to come around years from now....

You're starting to rationalize the situation. Not sure your actually reading the advice given. Take a deep breathe & read over what others have written & make a choice. Make sure it's the one you can live with if it doesn't work in your favor.