I've been seeing this woman for 6 months now. Up until a couple weeks or so ago, it was going pretty good I thought.

I met her from an online site, turned out she lived about a half hour away from me. We went out a couple times, things went good, and we started seeing each other exclusively. It's been give and take, I go to her and she comes to me. We'd see each other at least once a week, sometimes twice. We share alot of the same intrests and desires. I had been very pleased with how things have progressed.

Then 2 weeks ago, I started having doubts, which I'll give insite to why.

I have an online blog on the site my email is from. I write in it from time to time when i have something on my mind, whether it be good or bad. We are linked thru our contacts and our instant messenger, so she can see it if I don't make my entries private. Well, she stumbled across it.

Don't make any assumptions, I have only been with her since we've been seeing one an other, and nothing bad has been put down about her, because I don't have nothing of that sort to put down.

She asked me about it, and hoped I wasn't mad she read it. I wasn't mad, but I was suprised to say the least. I don't have anything to hide, so I didn't make my entries private. I just didn't expect she would read it. She told me she found it when she was browsing all her contacts updates, just to see what everyone had going on.

I put down how I feel about her in it, that I was falling for her, and I feel that I love her, and how happy I've been since we started seeing each other.

Then things kinda took a screaching halt in our relationship. She said she doesn't know if she wants to get too serious right now, for fear it would be rushing things and maybe ruin it, and that she still has scars from a previous bad relationship that has her afraid of getting too close to someone because she's afraid of being hurt again. She assured me she doesn't want to end our relationship, she just wants too slow down and take a step back, and see where it goes. I was kinda upset, but I can kinda relate in a way, I've been hurt in the past pretty bad myself.

She has alot of stress right now in her life too. She's unhappy at her job, and has been looking for something better that she can have a career in, and not just it be a job. She's been doing online courses for a certification for a job, but now that she's almost done with it she's not sure if she wants to do that job, so she plans on taking courses for another profession she's been intrested in.

Her dad's health isn't the greatest either. He had cancer a few years back, and is in remission still from it. As a result of it, he cannot eat and has to use a feeding tube for nourishment. He has COPD emphysemia, and is on oxygen all day every day, he's in and out of the hospital all the time because of it. She worries about him all the time, which is natural and understandable, he's her dad. She lost her grandma that she was so close to, a little over a year ago, and she still hurts from that loss too.

She moved back in with her parents a little over a year ago after her grandma passed away, to help about around the house and stuff. She wants to get her career on track or at least a better job, so she can be back in a place of her own again. That stresses her out too.

I guess with everything she's got going on, I can understand why she's uncertain if she's ready to get too serious with a relationship. I'm willing to slow down, be patient, and not rush her. She's a good woman, I've seen that. She has a good heart, and is a very caring person.

I'm just confussed right now with my thoughts. I'm not sure if this is just a bump in the road, and that as time goes along she'll be ready to be serious, or if I'm just spinning my wheels going nowhere. I didn't feel this way until a couple weeks ago. I care for her alot, and I hope it is a just bump in the road. I guess only time will tell, so I'm gonna have to be patient.

I think that this is the time to ask her what she wants to do. Press her on the point. Make her explain it. It sounds to me that she has put herself in the driver's seat right now. Make her drive! It could get a little chaotic before it gets better. Can you handle that? It may not be easy. The last thing you want to do is force a relationship that fails. Then it's on you.

She sounds scared of losing you to another. She may think you're going to go off with someone else. I can't say for sure, really. Maybe you both need to take things slowly.

Keep asking her if everything's alright between you two. If she keeps replying with "Yes", then i guess you'll just have to take her word for it.

Run for the hills Dude!

Jeezus! That is an awful lot of drama and one obstacle right after another......

Wish her well and fly....

6 months is NOT a big investment in time..get out while you can.


Just my take on it.....do what you think is best.

I think you slow it down... She has said that's what she needs and you have said you can do that...

She does have a lot going on, she sounds like a caring and giving person... Just b/c she has ill family doesn't mean she can't have a future with you.. It does mean that she needs to take things as they come and deal with them on a daily basis b/c she doesn't know day to day how her father will be...

It sounds to me like she doesn't make rash decisions.. She doesn't quit her job b/c she doesn't like it she takes courses and gets certifications to move up and do something different.. This tells me that she is careful about the decisions she makes...

I think she sounds like a very upstanding, kind, good person.. If I were you I'd take it day by day like she does and enjoy the time you have and be there for her when she needs a shoulder b/c her stresses may be more some days than others..

you skeert her an she done runt off!

She is afraid of another commitment and wants to slow it down. What you should do is simply back off and place your attention on something else and not worry about it. I'm not saying break up with her or run away, just don't try to get closer or try to get her to commit.

If you agree to slow down or back off, let her take the lead. If she wants to continue to see you, she will let you know.

Also, if you have a blog, (everyone) know that anyone can find it so don't expect that they won't find it or read it.

The fact that she looked is evidence that she was getting serious about you and wanted to know more... maybe. Or maybe she was looking for a good reason to break it off. You will soon find out which I think.

That's what I am doing, taking it day by day, and seeing where it goes.

You hit the nail on the head indeed, she is a good woman. I knew about her dad's health and everything from the start, but I like to think I am a strong man and I can handle what comes along. My dad has his own health concerns, so I'm familar with worring about someone you love.

We both want the same things, such as a family and children. I have experienced some similar things in my life that she has, so I can relate to her. I have seen alot of good things in her during the short time we have seen each other, and that makes me want to allow this to go where it may.

Just because it's not as far along as I'd like it, is not reason for me to run off. I'm not a runner, I've always stood my ground for what I want and believe in. If in time things get more serious, then that's great. If they do not, then it wasn't meant to be. Too many people run away when things are tough, not me, never have, never will.

She has expressed that I've made her happy, and that she cares alot for me too. She wants to keep seeing me,she just doesn't want to rush into becoming serious, and that's fine. I enjoy spending time with her when our schedules allow it.

I dunno, maybe it's just venting, and all in my head. I've just had alot on my mind lately, and needed to vent.

Humm if it was me and I read that online first I would kind of back off as well..... To me there are just some things you make sure that the feeling is mutual before confessing it to the whole world... I think too many tend to post their life online way too much.

It is great to be one that is open with your feelings but I still feel the other person involved should know first before reading it online.... JMO....

Myself I say if you really care for her then give it some time. She seems to have a full plate in front of her. At least give it a couple more months and don't post your personal life that involves her online she may be one that keeps her life a bit more private...

Sounds like she has a lot to deal with and doesn't wanna rush into a relationship which may add more to the plate! Give her time to get her own life in order. I'd likely freak out & run if someone wanted to get serious before I finish school and have some idea of where my life is going!!!

Also, she won't be able to heal from a past relationship enough to devote enough of herself to one with you with so many family & life issues! Give her time & space to work those things out and assure her that you are there for her when she needs someone to lean on or just to help her relax.

I donno man... sounds like a brush-off to me. "I want to keep being in a relationship with you, except I can't see you for a long time, because work is not satisfactory, and there are 'stresses' in my life."

I heard that a million times, and bang, there was nothing I could do to get her back after that speech. I waited; I not waited. I pushed; I did not push. I wanted to talk it out; I kept my clapper closed.

This is the kiss of death for you relationship. Sorry to be your Kassandra, but there you have it.

She has a lot going on. BE THE PLACE SHE CAN GO TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL. Tell her you don't want to add to her burdens but provide her with whatever she needs to help her through. Don't tell her what she should/shouldn't do support what she decides to do.
It is so rare to find someone you care about...don't let her present turmoil ruin it.

Hack into her facebook, google, iphone and msn accounts and hound
her electronically and by camping in her front yard until she
finally relents and you have the best sex EVER. Chicks dig that.

(just kidding)

Actually, we went out saturday afternoon. We still see each other as we did before, and we still talk and text as much too