Topic: The Answers to ALMOST everything.
uk1971's photo
Fri 03/04/11 12:23 AM
What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity devil

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs. oops

What's the difference between a mistress and a wife?
45 minutes. bigsmile

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife. spock

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism. sick

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. :wink:

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.


Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could have sex, too. (Worked for me) laugh

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck. :tongue:

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment. devil

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins
"Once upon a time."
A Southern fairytale begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh it."

bigsmile :banana:

paul1217's photo
Fri 03/04/11 03:16 PM
What is the difference between a Hooker, your Mistress, and your Wife?

The Hooker says " are you done yet?"
Your Mistress says " are you done already?
Your Wife says " Beige, I think we'll paint the ceiling Beige."

oops You guessed it, I'm divorced.laugh