i tend to ask them about tham as well

I ask about exs the only reason I guess is to get to what went wrong in the previous realtionships, although i was with the a guy for 5yrs and they hate hearing about that. I think its okay to talk about them

What is wrong with talking about past relationships?

Is that not how we learn about ourselves. Is that not an avenue to learn about a friend and potential partner?

It is not about dwelling in the past. It is not about bashing an ex.

For me it is about genuine understanding ... what are the paths they have walked. How did they arrive at this place in their life... what did they learn about themselves...how has that influenced what they want in the future. How do they resolve conflict...

It comes from a place of genuinely wanting to know a person.

Talking about relationships are fine...Just keep the intimate stuff to youself

Yes Mike exactly

I agree Mike

yep mike's got my vote too

Yeah, that's a fair middle ground. Because their is that balance of self-examination alongside thinking on the past.

I don't mind someone talking about thier ex. I listen carefully to how they talk about it and see if they lay the whole blame on them or talk nasty about them or try to make you think they were some kind of victim.

Look, it takes two to fight, argue etc..if someone starts talking about thier ex in an agressive manner, making it out that they were totally innocent of any wrong doing (which is absurd) or that none of it was thier fault. I raise an eyebrow.

Anykind of agressive talk sets alarm bells off in my mind about the guy, claiming total innocence is stupid and makes me feel like the guy must think I'm stupid if I buy this load of crap and you can pick up a miriad of other little clues as to how this person works in relationships and if they have changed or are likely to do the same crap if you were to start up with them.

Kinda like "Eye spy with my little eye" LOL