But you buy that pepsi when you go to the park and pay for the former carp.

The big business of popular sports has certainly diminished the competitive edge from the players.

Championship yahtzee anyone? I'll sell t-shirts...

Any game that has a Full House is OK with me.

Did Kimmy Gibler ever get traded?

Yeah, now she's Kimmy Gibblerova....

Damn... do we gotta party now or what? Bring out the rootbeer!

I'm having trouble sleeping (again).
Insomnia sucks ass. I feel tired... but everytime I go to lay down... POOF! I get another burst of energy....

I'm gonna be sleeping at my desk tomorrow.

As for the Full House... I'm not good at card games like that. THe last time I played poker I ended up naked... and the heat didn't work well so I got cold easily.

You ought to try Strip Yahtzee!

Gives new meaning to the term "Large Straight."

Lol... I'm in an evil mood. THis poor guy posted a gf app... so I replied... I was the only one. Here's what it said:


GIRLFRIEND APPLICATION

Name: Mildred Finkleski


Date of Birth: 04-13-1929


Height: 4'9"


Weight: 300 lbs


Hair Color: none (it's fallen out)


Eye Color: one glass eye, one brown


Overall Health:
[X] Poor
[ ] Fair
[ ] Average
[ ] Good
[ ] Excellent


Smoker?
[X] Yes (A carton a day keeps oxygen away!)
[ ] No


Drinker?
[X] Yes (ALL day every hiiicccc day!)
[ ] No


Sexually active?
[X] Yes (But the 40's were my prime)
[ ] No


Like kids?
[ ] Yes
[X] No (They are disease carriers)


Religious?
[X] Yes (Catholic Mass, in Latin, every day and twice on Sunday)
[ ] No


Address:


Telephone number:


Current relationship status: swinger


When is the best time to contact you? all day... I got nothin but time


QUALITY TRAITS:
[Check all that describes you.]

[ ] Accurate
[ ] Appreciative
[ ] Consistent
[ ] Organized
[ ] Generous
[ ] Patient
[X] Flexible
[ ] Reflective
[ ] Creative
[ ] Caring
[ ] Thoughtful
[ ] Self-confident
[ ] Dependable
[ ] Open-minded
[ ] Complete
[ ] Reliable
[ ] Enthusiastic
[ ] Objective
[ ] Resourceful
[ ] Tactful
[ ] Assertive
[ ] Loyal
[ ] Fair
[ ] Disciplined
[X] Energetic
[ ] Steady
[X] Persuasive
[ ] Positive
[ ] Cautious
[ ] Confronting
[ ] Efficient
[ ] Sociable
[ ] Adaptable
[ ] Independent
[ ] Helpful
[ ] Direct
[ ] Idealistic


DARK TRAITS:
[Check all that describes you.]

[ ] Selfish
[ ] Quick-Tempered
[ ] Impatient
[ ] Easily Jealous
[ ] Possessive
[ ] Resentful
[ ] Inflexible
[ ] Self-Indulgent
[ ] Greedy
[ ] Tense
[ ] Inconsistent
[ ] Changeable
[X] Moody
[ ] Overemotional
[ ] Lazy
[ ] Clingy
[ ] Unable To Let Go
[X] Bossy
[ ] Interfering
[ ] Intolerant
[ ] A Worrier
[ ] Overcritical
[ ] Harsh
[ ] Perfectionist
[ ] Gullible
[ ] Flirtatious
[ ] Self-Indulgent
[ ] Compulsive
[X] Obsessive
[ ] Obstinate
[ ] Careless
[ ] Irresponsible
[ ] Restless
[ ] Grudging
[ ] Unpredictable
[ ] Unemotional
[ ] Secretive


YOUR PERSONAL VALUES:
[Rank the values 1 - 10 in order of their importance to you. Number 1 is the most important to you and number 10 is the least important.]

[8] Good health
[10] Having respect from peers.
[10] Having a marriage and family.
[1] Being free to do what you want.
[1] Having adequate finances.
[1] Living in a nice neighborhood.
[1] Having enough leisure time.
[1] Having physical activity.
[10] Doing volunteer activities.
[5] Having time to be creative.


RELATIONSHIP INFO:

Ex-boyfriends: (Most recent first) [Include how long you dated them.]
Sonny, my mind has gone... with my dear Chester. He passed just this past March... 58 years together... but it's time I moved on.

Your dating experience(s):
see above

Your dating objective:
to get laid by a strapping young boy such as yourself

Life learned lessons:
All of them... when you get to be my age, you start teaching the lessons

Special skills:
Removable teeth... removable glass eye...

Honors, Achievements, and other interests:
I outlived all my brothers, sisters and husband.

References:


YOUR FAVORITES:

Color? clear


Animal? skunk


Bird? chicken


Insect? **** roach


Flower? dandelion


Music? opera


Television show? Murder She Wrote & Mattlock


Vacation? Bingo Nights at the church


Drink? Johnny Walker Red Label on the rocks, hold the ice


Food? Anything that won't run right through me


Quiet place? the cemetery


Smell? cooked cabbage


Website? www.grannys5dollagirls.net

Friend? none. they're all dead


Relative? none. they're all dead.


Weather? not the snow... i broke my hip on the damn ice last winter.


10 QUESTIONS:

1. Why did you leave you last relationship? he died.


2. What would you expect if I do decide to date you? Lots of loud, wild sex and a bunion massage twice daily..


3. Why do you want to date me? you're a strapping young lad... I can relive my youth!


4. Are you looking for a short-term or long-term relationship?
I ain't getting any younger, dearie.

5. If I do decide to choose you for a relationship, how long would you expect it to last? til i die...


6. What is your long-term goal? (kids, marriage, place to live, ect...) sex... need to clean out the plumbing ya know.


7. What are your strengths and weaknesses? no strengths all weakness


8. Do you prefer to be touched a little or a lot? (holding hands, kissing, hugging, ect…) touch every inch of my wrinkled, age-spotted body and I will purr like a toothless kitten.


9. Do you prefer to go out for a date or just hang-out with each other?
anything as long as there's lots of sex involved.

10. Why do you think I should consider you for a relationship?
because no one else gave you a serious answer.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I couldn't help myself.....

:-P

Yikes! That's more involved than many employment apps I've had to fill out!

Removable teeth, huh? Do you turn into a pizza at 2 AM?

I got royally flushed with my last attempt at strip Yahtzee...

Hey... I can take the glass eye out too if you're up for it... lol... Hmmmm... pizza after 2 a.m....

only sometimes.



LOL.... I knew someone who had a board game called "PASSOUT"....
it was pretty bad.

It's like drinking, doing stupid crap and laughing all in a box!

Have a great Thursday everyone!

I filled that out also...he wants to meet with me now.

and on we go in our attempt at page 11

Drinking and doing stupid crap in a box...sounds like an airline flight I took form New York to LA once...

Good luck on your date Mike! Wear protection!

Nus: "Drinking and doing stupid crap in a box"

-- sounds like any holiday or weekend at my ex-in-laws' place --

Seriously!!

Lex-you must have been married to my first wife's sister!

If your first wife was named Ann or Barb, it's entirely possible!

Missed it by that much! But they were probably chipped from the same block (of ice they used to keep the keg of beer cool when the kegerator was busted.)

just to keep it alive here

(I'm no way Chicago)

Greetings people....
How's it hanging?
Wait... don't answer that! Or... yeah.. . WTF... go ahead... inquiring minds wanna know.

Somebody from Lisle actually looked at my profile today -- she must have clicked on the wrong button!

Good morning Chicago! What will be happening today in the windy city?

Has Oprah gotten her own balloon in the parade yet?