I am getting used to the idea that being alone is the way to go. I feel like my fear of not wanting to be alone has caused me to date and have relationships that eventually became more about not being alone than it did loving that person. I feel now that the only way to truly be happy is by yourself. No one can effect you when you are by yourself. It's a fear of ours to not want to be alone, but think about it. What's so scary? I mean sure we all need to get laid but thats just a need that can be served and then life can continue as usual. Sure being in a relationship CAN be a great thing but why does it have to be the standard? Why is life dream to get married and have a family? Who says a person cant live alone or maybe have roommates and never find a mate? Thoughts?

It certainly is the standard, as most people have that expectation. And people will always question why you aren't in a relationship or trying to be in one, because of the societal expectation, but as long as you are happy being "alone" then who cares what anybody else thinks...

i rushed to date after being married for so long, all that led to major dissapointment and also realizing that I dont want a serious relationship anyways, (which that part i knew) but I also didnt want one night stands and feeling used. It eventually faded out and now I am happy being alone and just waiting on the right thing to come a long and make me feel special again.

Well what I have found is that while being in a relationship can make me happy it never lasts. I mind as well just go shopping, at least my clothes wont cause me problems. I am all for friends but I think I am giving up on the relationship thing. I honestly feel like I would be better off just lonely and and when I get sad enough I'll go shopping and buy some new shoes. Because the truth is that while we get into a relationship to fix our own loneliness it always comes back. The love wears off and then the relationship goes down the *******....

Eventually we all need someone.
Right now I am quite happy single.
But eventually I would like to have a man by my side.

Becasue peiople run headlong into too many things too fast. Instant gratification. I see no problem with having FWBs as long as there is an understanding that love is not part of the equation until a few years pass. I just cannot fall in love so easily any more. I am in love with an ideal which may be worst. I like anyone else have predisposed notions what will make me happy with a mate. Predisposed notions and reality are two totally different things!

i find that the longer i'm alone the less patience i have..meaning if theres one little problem in the relationship i wanna bailout of it quick and go back to being alone

Lust wears off.
Real love, after a number of years, is comfortable and stable.

I was married for 17 years, and never thought about being anything but married. But since then - 2 failed relationships (one live-in and a second marriage), I found I missed being alone, doing what I want to do, not worrying about someone else always being happy. Believe me, I know where you are coming from.

And about tolerance and patience, they are in short supply.

I've been married once, and it was the worst experience of my life. I can't imagine anything short of amnesia, Alzheimer's, or some sort of narcoleptic coma that would ever persuade me to try THAT again.

I've never had any desire to have a family and I've made a concerted effort to ensure that this is clear to anyone and everyone who reads my profile.

Having said that, I do wish for a girlfriend again. But I've learned, from a seemingly endless series of bad entanglements, that it's better to be alone than to be with someone and WISH you were alone. And there don't seem to be any women out there whose lives don't revolve around booze and babies.

peace on my own becomes me. it's out there, but i've grown comfortable in my own space. maybe some day i won't mind sharing that.

I believe that everyone should live a lone for a period of time. They may realize one must be able to enjoy their own company before bringing someone else into their life is only a plus in the end...

I feel so ignored!

I for one do enjoy my own company - and found that I like it. Less stress....

imho, sounds to me like you are trying to talk yourself out of something you secretly yearn for.

brilliant i dare say.

marriage vows as they are currently defined are but sanctioned slavery.

such was first induced into human civilization by the want to seize and arrest another for the ownership of self.

the vows create the will and intent to posses or own another human as personal property, right from the very inception.

with their first notion that faithful be "no cheating", rather than "faithful" in caring about what another wants as important, regardless of the self interest in the matter, which be essential to two peoples equal happiness.

how can anything love anything else, if it be afraid to be without it for itself.

it shall but seek to entrap and entice another for the self interest agenda of fear.

Well one is never physically alone, however when your standing alone simply sends out the message that your comfortable in your space, feeling lonely is a self negative emotion or state of mind.

"No one can effect you when you are by yourself" but you can effect yourself when you start to feel lonely. "It's a fear of ours to not want to be alone" It is human nature to seek another human."We all need to get laid but that's just a need that can be served and then life can continue as usual" It's more than being laid it's internally driven. "Why does it have to be the standard" It doesn't the choice of being single, married, involved in an exclusive relationship etc.,is a personal choice you must become comfortable with.

"Why is life dream to get married and have a family? Everyone has their own unique idea of what is and what is not, this depends on their experiences, for example for those whom have had negative experiences and has not gotten over the matter may speak bitterly than those whom have had positive experiences.

"Who says a person cant live alone or maybe have roommates and never find a mate" Indeed society norms are get married have children and live in a house with a white picket fence, however that is just the guideline you can either take the guideline and tweak it or create your own.

Truly life, love, and peace is a simple matter; it all depends on your internal make-up.....

Alina

^this, girl DO NOT be afraid! I got into and stayed in a senseless relationship for 4 years due to this fear and I finally had enough and ended it just a few months ago! Honestly, I am so much happier alone I could kick my own azz for that. I am finally able to face things that scarred me emotionally in my past and so much healing has occurred in such a short period of time that it makes my head spin thinking of it!!!

another relationship did not fix my loneliness, it only prevented my heart from healing which led to more loneliness and me storing up loads of tension because I was not being honest with myself & I avoided all emotionally evasive topics! It hurt like hell to open those wounds and to realize my mistakes, but the pain subsides, you heal, and can move forward with more self confidence and a sense of self-trust and independence that no one else can give you, but yourself!

yeah-another lesson learned the hard way! contrary to popular belief, you need more than just love to make a relationship last! Be careful what you ask for!

So you don't want any kind of relationship, just sex as it's obviously available to you at any time, and then your life can continue on leaving anyone who cares about you behind... how shallow.
(just the kind I'd expect to find online, sad but true)