ok, here is the situation.

I saw this woman(we will call her "melissa") for about a year, and we ended up getting pregnant with twins. I was with her for the whole pregnancy, but when I was out at AT(annual training) she left me. the day i got back was the day that she had the babies(two beautiful boys btw Caleb Joespeh and Carter James). I did not see them until they were 4 days old(on fathers day of this year june 20th). after that, i got to see them about once a week. then about a month and a half ago, she suddenly moved in with this guy that she didnt even know and started a relationship with him. after the relationship failed, she comes crying back to me wanting me back. I will admit that i still do have feelings for her, but i dont want to be hurt again. what do you all think i should do?

if they are your kids, i would do what i can for their sake... i don't know what kind of woman she is, but as long as your up front with her about things, maybe she will be ok...but help her with the kids either way

Support the boys, but do nothing with their mother. She will play you until another guy shows up.

"Melissa" isn't the only fish in the sea.

the thing is that i still love her, but i dont want her to disappear on me again so i wont see my kids again, I love my two little ones more than I love my own mother(sad but true)

chances are she will run off again... sounds to me she needs help...help her all you can, but be carefull of her

Once burned...

First and foremost
1. Get a lawyer
2. Get paternity tests done, you can have the court order them to be done.(You split the costs)
3.IF and only IF the paternity tests prove that they are your sons, hammer out through the court:
A. Custody
B. Visitation
C. Child support.

3. Rebuild your life.
4. Have as little to do with this woman as possible.




Good Luck.

you know what your heart wants, but you know in your head she screwed you once already. thing is people can change and giving someone a second chance doesn't always end in disaster. if she loves you and has realized her mistake, the boys would truely benefit from having two loving parents. when she was pregnant her hormones had her head swimming with all kinds of crap. talk to her and find out where she is now. only by truely communicating with her will your answer come. best of luck, my prayers for your family.

I'm thinking....Booty call

I think you should think about it... maybe this girl's too desperate and after that guy broke her heart she jumps into your arms just because she need someone! Or maybe she has realized she just wants to be with their children and that's because she wants to be with you.
In my opinion the best way to solve this problem is having a chat with her about your common feelings. I think you should be honest with her and she sould be honest with you!
Good luck ;)

In all honesty I would have a DNA test done on the kids to make sure they are in fact yours. It is possible she could have been using you during the pregnancy. I know one does not want to believe that but due to her actions after the birth of the kids it would make me wonder......

After you find out for sure then there are legal actions that actually keeps her from taking the kids more then a certain distance from you if your living in the same area as they were born. As well as she can not keep you from seeing them if you so choose too.

not enough information for any specific advice.in general,be totally open and honest with her about how you feel and do everything you can to be a father to the kids if you are sure you are the father.in my opinion,she doesn,t love you and if you let her back in your heart ,you will be hurt again.no matter what your relationship with her, make sure your children grow up knowing that you love them.maybe i shouldn,t have said that she doesn,t love you and maybe its possible that she could grow to love you in the future.only you can answer that,the only real advice i can giv is to listen to your heart (your inner voice)and don,t let your brain or her words overide what your heart tells you.good luck

If they are your kids, you need to take advantage of being around them as much as possible. looks like with your uniform and all she may make a habit of looking for attention elsewhere. If there is a way you can work it out, i wish you the best for the kids sake. take care, good luck.

as Tina Turner said...what's Love gotsa do gotsa do

simply go to court to establish and seal your parental rights in stone

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This

K.

I must also go with this. This is the most concise plan of action I have ever seen. Michiganman3, you are a sage among us!

I have to agree with other posts here....take care of the boys.
You have a plethera of support through the military to get custody of the boys...start there and inform the mother that she will only have modified custody. Be strong...you know this will be the right thing for your children.

first off i would make sure they are your kids, if they are not then move on if they are then be there for them but the mother needs to grow up a little she does have two boys to care for