How would you define "being close?" I'm talking about intimacy and feeling connected in emotional ways...Couples can spend every minute of the day together and still be "miles apart." Have you noticed this?....Their conversation is limited to chit-chat or "safe" topics...No one is suppose to talk about their feelings or fears in straight-forward ways very often. Everyone is suppose to pretend that they are fine and okay all the time to avoid "rocking the boat."....Yes they are in close proximity to each other most of the time....but they are not really close or connected "in spirit." They are together yet alone.

I would define it as being in a place
where you always give the other the
benefit of the doubt.
That trust has entered the picture brings
people closer I think.

Aye...

Yeah. You don't want to rock the boat or you can get too close for comfort.

I've recently noticed in myself, that I assume this trust/closeness sooner than it actually exists (mutually)... thereby getting too close for comfort. Live and learn.

Those couples that spend time together, but are "miles apart" are lacking an emotional connection. If you lack this the relationship is doomed for failure IMO. That is what develops throughout the life of the relationship and holds it together (among other elements).

Being able to talk about your most inner feelings/fears without being judged (no walls), and understanding that we are different is what comes to my mind. Acceptance/compassion about our differences, but embracing the person as one's counter part.

Did you get your feelers hurt?

I did!!

I am sorry that you got your feelers hurt. Was told by the pastor that men have feelers and that women have feelings.

Yeah, it is tricky, getting the timing right.
But you err on the side of the angels.

Thanks for your great posts...Some people are just naturally outgoing and personable with everyone...They know how to keep conversations lively...They ask questions and show interest in others...They are open about themselves....It may seem like we have a special closeness with someone like this....but the truth is that they are friendly and outgoing with everyone....In the past I assumed that there was more going on than there really was when I ran into people like this....I jumped to conclusions and ended up feeling like a fool in the end....So I try not to make any assumptions anymore until I've taken a long time to really get to know someone.

But wouldn't there be a difference in body language, eye contact and such from someone who has a romantic interest vs. someone who possesses an outgoing/communicative personality?

Thanks for the great question :-)

havent a clue..Im here to learn....

I've had both types of relationships. My first marriage was a "together yet alone" situation. My second marriage was a very close relationship. So close that at first, I rebeled against the spending every waking minute together thing because I felt smothered. I eventually got used to it, but when it ended, wished I hadn't because then I didn't know what to do with myself when he was gone. Also, spending that much time with someone, you eventually find yourself becoming someone you aren't just to please the other person and keep the "closeness" going. So neither type is healthy if you ask me. Ideally my perfect relationship would be a mixture of both. Two individuals who are comfortable with who the other is as a person, close enough in ideals and hobbies to be able to spend large amounts of time together but also just as comfortable spending time apart pursuing individual passions. A best friend that you are comfortable telling all to and not have to worry that they will hold it against you or judge you. Someone who loves not only who you are, but who you were and who you will become. That one person who no matter what time of day or what is going on, you think of them and it makes you smile. You can't wait to be together after being apart, can't wait to see them after a long day at work and they are the first person you think of to tell when you have exciting news.

Thats good. I am glad you are comfortable enough with the place to put a picture up now.

Well, you just perfectly described my 1st marriage! The irony is, I was so young and really knew no better so I thought this was a good relationship! Wow eh...But closness in a couple has a totally different definition to me now. Now, I would define it as being in tune with one another, in sync, finishing each others thoughts, understanding one another on a soul level. I wish that for all of us

I think some people just have a natural charm...It could even be called flirting but they can be this way with both sexes...or even kids...I recognize this now but when I was younger and more naive I thought their charm was directed at me...I've even run into this with girlfriends or friends that I've met online...not just with men. They came on so strong and we seemed to click right away but I was more of a "passing fancy" to them....not someone they planned to hang around with on a regular basis.....I try to pay attention to the messages I send to people more than ever now so I won't confuse people....I don't want to give the impression that I want to be "super tight" with someone right off the bat when I'm not sure how I feel about them quite yet.

We just have to mean what we say and say what we mean because to often what we have said is taken out of context because of the way we said it.
If you have a question then ask it. If it's not answered then there's your answer.

^^^This makes sense, Greeneyes. Some people's characteristics can be misinterpreted (if of a more attentive/flirty nature).

Good to SEE you! Thought-provoking thread.