What do you all think are acceptable age gaps between partners? And are the criteria the same for men and women?

Most of my friends (male or female) are approximately 10 years younger than I am so it seems natural to me to be around people of that age group. I don't feel my age, either mentally or physically, and I find most people of my age too set in their ways and just not vibrant enough.

I'm now on the cusp of starting a relationship with someone 8 years younger than I am. But, I worry about what other people will think. I'd hate to be labelled a 'cradle-snatcher'!

And I know, I shouldn't worry about what other people think, but I do!

Is this too big a gap? And do you think I will be judged harshly by other people?

I think age is just a number and 8 years isn't that bad at all. I can't see people judging you for that. Besides it's your life and do what makes you happy. It really doesn't matter what anybody else thinks!! Good luck with your new relationship!

The lady who was my fiancee for 16 years until her death in Jan '08 was 11 years younger than me - it was the best relationship I've had in this lifetime. Go for it and don't worry about what 'other people' think ...

I had one GF 16 years younger than me and we got along great but her parents were total **** heads and would not face me or say the crap they had to to my face. My last GF was 8 years older than me.

What the hell does age matter if you get along and function? Heck, I dated one girl who was 18 years younger than me but she had to move for her job.

God we used to TEAR it up all day long!


Besides, why is it I see 50 to 60 year old men with 18 year old cotton tails under their arms? Bet she is happy, with all his money!

I think age gaps depend on how old the partners are. For example, an 18 yr old with a partner of 8 yrs their junior OR senior wouldn't be a good idea (and certainly illegal in the case of an underage partner). However a 30-some or 60-some yr old wouldn't necessarily have a problem with someone being 8 yrs apart. I personally find myself frequently attracted to women older than me such as 8 yrs and find the situation difficult as I feel like they'll view my attraction as a childish crush since I'm only 22. However maturity rates differ for every person (though there are averages for gender) as you have experienced with most of your friends being a decade younger. If this is the age group you feel most connected to then it's natural to date someone within that group. I'd say so long as you're both legal ;) and care for each other, go for it! There will ALWAYS be people who disagree with your decisions but don't let them get to you. Make your own choice, stand by it, and enjoy the results/consequences!

I'd be much more concerned with the difference in shoe sizes. Oh, wait a minute, that's just a number, too....!

Seriously, there's no point in worrying about what anybody else thinks of it, and there's no point in trying to create some mystical, arcane formula based on nothing more than how many times a person has ridden the planet around the sun. If two people like each other, that should be enough.

The age gap doesn't matter if you're a sugar-daddy or sugar-momma. On the other hand if you're 'soul mates' then be prepared for insensitive assumptions. This foil works very well for sitcoms especially when it involves the woman being much older than the man who's in his early twenties. The same age gap becomes less and less noticeable in their 40's and 50's. For example, I was 19 when I met my first wife who was 25 and even just 6 years was quite noticeable to others. There was a definite stigma attached to our relationship until we were both in our 30's

A neighbor of mine has a formula. Half of the older partners age plus 7 years. I think it's arbitrary, but I thought I'd throw it out here. It makes my range 26 - 64.

BTW-any 19 year olds wanna come over and watch 'Harold and Maude'

I don't use age as a "standard" of who I will or won't date. I use geek/dork status. If they are attractive (Meaning I am attracted to them) and they are a geek/dork/nerd (with glasses helps too )then Goof will sit down and chat. From that point, it all boils down to the "2 hr. rule). This means that if the panties haven't dropped within 2 hours upon initial meet, then Goof moves forward.

Thanks everyone for your replies. So the consensus of opinion is 'GO FOR IT'. Okay, I'm going!

My lady is 15 years younger than me and we get along GREAT!!!

age is just a number, as long as the number is equal or greater than 18.

My boyfriend is 8 years younger than me. If he doesn't have a problem with it, why should you?

I don't spend time worrying about what others think. As long as he has the qualities that make you swoon, go for it!! If someone wants to call me a cougar, so be it.

My first husband was 21 years older than I.
When we walked about, he would say,
'Everyone is staring at us.'
I would say, 'that is because YOU think it odd.'
A year later, we were out and about, and he said,
'Isn't it funny, no one stares at us any more.'
I just smiled.
Finally HE had accepted it.

The point being, it is what YOU think of the age
difference that will make all the difference.
Not what anyone else thinks.
All cues will come from you.
And him.

Thanks Soufie

Yes, that's very true. I think, in a lot of ways, I wouldn't be worrying if he were 8 years older than me (although that would never work for me!).

I think it's because I'm the older one, and therefore the one most likely to be judged. (I'm 52, he's 44).

Gaps in age? No problem.
Where I live people look for gaps in teeth.

Pfffft, that is hardly anything when you get
older. As significant as freckles :-)

Im currently involved with someone who is 18 years younger than me...while it has its challenges, ive noticed its mostly from outside of the relationship...(everybody has an opinion these days)...

with love, respect and a sense of humor, you can make it work...

will you marry me?